Category: Transform Yourself

Keep Your Hand Up!

On By femmefuelIn Transform Yourself1 Comment

Do you systematically underestimate your abilities as a woman–especially when it comes to work and ministry? Are you taking a back-seat approach with your God-given gifts and talents due to the current busyness of your day-to-day life? Has it become easy to forget that God has big plans for you?

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10 NIV

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. Psalms 139:14 NJKV

He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6 NIV

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Check out the discussion below led by Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, as to why there are so few women leaders throughout the world.

Maybe you have no desire to be a CEO or to reach the highest levels of your workforce. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and certainly, those jobs should never be viewed as the ultimate measure of success for one’s life. At the same time, could Sandberg’s words possibly still apply to other areas of your life, especially when it comes to your calling, dreams and aspirations?

“Well, I’m in grad school. I’ll get involved with my community when I’m a real adult.”

“I have two kids. God will understand if I go to church later…when I have more time.”

“I’m unemployed right now. My first priority is to pay the bills.”

Click here to hear Sandberg’s discussion…

To use Sandberg’s words, do you no longer keep your hand up? Have you “left” before even leaving? Have you dropped out of the race?

 

 

The Ugly From Last Year

On By femmefuelIn FemmeFeatures by JMathis, Transform Yourself1 Comment

imageBy JMathis

Ugly. Over the years, that word has been attached to a whole host of images. When I was three, ugly referred to the monster lurking within my closet. When I was thirteen, ugly was the name I gave to every single pimple on my face that dared to defy acne medication (oh wait, was that yesterday?). When I was twenty-one, ugly was the “troll” on the dance floor who just couldn’t take the hint that I wasn’t interested in grinding the night away.

Unfortunately, as I have gotten older, I tend to pull out the word ugly a lot more, to refer to a whole range of irritating nuisances in my life. For the past few years, I have found myself using the word ugly as a commentary on the year that I am experiencing. More often than not, I catch myself saying, “This year can’t get any uglier; I can’t wait for it to be over!! Next year has got to be better than this.”

In fact, as I look back on every year of my adulthood, I don’t recall ever saying, “Wow! This past year was just SO incredible, there’s no way that next year can top it!” More often than not, I am just itching to put a close on yet another ugly year. I know that many of you feel the same way, since I read a multitude of Facebook status updates that said: “Good Riddance, 2010!”

Sadly, even when remarkable milestones are achieved in a single year, such events continue to be shrouded in anxieties over what the future will bring. These anxieties quickly cloud and shape one’s resolutions for the upcoming year. While I was over the moon about launching my own business, worries about finances made me resolve that I needed to horde every penny that was earned, without giving purposeful prayer and thought as to how to build my company’s future. When I experienced the gift of childbirth, I didn’t allow myself to enjoy being a new mom as I was too busy juggling work pressures, post-partum depression and feeling sorry for myself that my former, carefree life had vanished. Instead of confiding in God, my family or friends that my life was really out of whack, I just convinced myself that I needed to make a new year’s resolution to engage in more “work-life balance”. What does that mean anyway??

Not always, but perhaps we make these resolutions because we are not content and at peace with the already complete life God has given to each of us. Why is it that we are unable to hold onto a spirit of thankfulness throughout the year? Why can’t we remain full of faith that God will continue to supply all of our needs year after year? Why is it so difficult to recognize that life is already full of God’s blessings and evidence of His continued faithfulness? Why are we always so quick to flush last year down the toilet?

Are resolutions our way of taking matters into our own hands, since we just don’t trust God to provide a solution in time?

Perhaps the concept of crafting a new year’s resolution is faulty to begin with, as it is almost always a man-made aspiration, rather than a God-inspired desire. Maybe we have it all backwards when it comes to new years’ resolutions.

Now, I am not saying that it is incorrect or fruitless to aspire for bigger and greater, and to believe for a better year than the last. I’m not even saying that you should kiss new years’ resolutions goodbye. However, when your new years’ resolutions are in fact the SAME resolutions every year, and you find that your new year is turning out to have the SAME exact problems as the year before, then there’s something wrong.

Have you ever considered asking God what your resolutions should be this year? How about asking Him what ugliness you need to change about yourself in 2011?

Do we avoid doing that, because we’re just too afraid of hearing God’s answer?

What if your resolution is to expand your lucrative medical practice, while God’s resolution is for you to work for a free clinic in the inner city? What if your resolution is to spend more time in the gym, while God’s resolution is for you to spend more time mentoring homeless kids? What if your resolution is to move the heck out of your parents’ house, while God’s resolution is for you to let go of past grudges and make proper amends with your family members? What if your resolution is to fix everything that’s wrong in the church, while God’s resolution is for you to just sit down, shut up and have a heart of thanksgiving? Thanksgiving for the roof over your head, thanksgiving for the clean water you drink, and thanksgiving that God has already provided you with everything you could possibly need to positively impact another life on this earth?

Maybe the ugly from last year is just the ugly truth that we don’t really care what God wants for our future.

Maybe the ugly from last year is that we don’t want to hear what God’s still, small voice has to say about the upcoming year.

Maybe the ugly from last year is that we complain about everything and are grateful to God for nothing.

Maybe the ugly from last year is YOU.

Psalms 51:12: “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”

The Season for Pruning

On By femmefuelIn FemmeBytes by JMathis, Transform Yourself2 Comments

By JMathis

John 15:2. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit, He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

image Howard Moss, past poetry editor for the New Yorker (until his death in 1987), penned a moving poem about a tree undergoing the painful, disquieting process of pruning. The poem also calls to mind the beauty that follows, as described in John 15:2.

While the pruning of last year may have been painful for you, know that The Creator is lovingly tending your branches, so that more room can be made for the fruitful abundance that awaits you this year.

It is in this pruning that our purpose is refined. Allow for God to strip away the unnecessary, so that you bear so much fruit, you are left with no choice but to share this bounty with your family, friends and community.

The Pruned Tree

As a torn paper might seal up its side,
Or a streak of water stitch itself to silk
And disappear, my wound has been my healing,
And I am made more beautiful by losses.
See the flat water in the distance nodding
Approval, the light that fell in love with statues,
Seeing me alive, turns its motion toward me.
Shorn, I rejoice in what was taken from me.
What can the moonlight do with my new shape
But trace and retrace its miracle of order?
I stand, waiting for the strange reaction
Of insects who knew me in my larger self,
Unkempt, in a naturalness I did not love.
Even the dog’s voice rings with a new echo,
And all the little leaves I shed are singing,
Singing to the moon of shapely newness.
Somewhere what I lost I hope is springing
To life again. The roofs, astonished by me,
Are taking new bearings in the night, the owl
Is crying for a further wisdom, the lilac
Putting forth its strongest scent to find me.
Butterflies, like sails in grooves, are winging
out of the water to wash me, wash me.
Now, I am stirring like a seed in China.

–Howard Moss

When Everything is Clean

On By femmefuelIn Best of Sasha Katz, FemmeFeatures by Sasha Katz, Transform YourselfLeave a comment

imageBy AbbyA

Cleaning.  Did I say cleaning?  Where’s my mom?  She is the one who kept it all clean.  Did you spend time with your mom today or did you spend time finding out if she can watch your kids?  Kids.  I have a four year old girl with a curl in the middle of her brow who tells me how to pack up my Christmas ornaments.  Christmas.  How many meals can you eat in twenty-four hours?  Food.  If I eat everything that is left over from Christmas, then I can potentially deflate if there is nothing left.  Nothing left.  That would be me when I fall asleep with wet hair and the lights on.

Clean.  That would be my house on Mondays and Thursdays.  Thanks, Helena.  Mom.  She would be the person to whom I owe just about everything.  Including the mother I am to my kids.  One of the few things I am sure that I do well.  Kids.  Joy of my heart and light of my life.  Food.  Joy of my heart and light of my life.  That was a joke.  Food.  Take a look at Susie Larson’s Balance that Works when Life Doesn’t and the “F Word” will finally make sense AND take its rightful place in your life.  Something left.  That would be me when I lighten up and trust God that He has it all covered.

Clean.  Clean first the inside of the cup and the outside will also be clean.  Matthew 23.  That would be the moment in which my Christianity made sense to me.  Clean hands and a pure heart.  Psalm 24.  That would be the moment in which I understood that God knows my intentions when they are not apparent to anyone else.  Blessed is he in whose spirit there is no deceit.  Psalm 32.  That would be the moment when I realized that even my unintentional mistakes would be forgiven.  A lot left.  There is a lot left when everything is clean.

With so much ahead in 2011, I plan to find time to spend with my mom.  I plan to revel in the chants of my daughter – me and my mama and only me – when we are lying in bed together.  I look forward to Christmas time again so that I can remember how good He has been to me the whole year long.  I will remember to keep things clean and to get some help with that.  Helena, Mom, God, Kids, Food.  There is a lot left to give when everything is clean.

Would You Walk Away From it All?

On By femmefuelIn Transform YourselfLeave a comment

Francis Chan had it all…and then, he left it all behind.

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What would you do?

How far will you go this year to put away the things that don’t really matter?

As women, we walk around with the burden that we should have it all: a fast-track career, a picture-perfect marriage and 2.5 brilliant and athletically-inclined kids…

We fill each day with overstretched commitments and personal sacrifices, all in pursuit of being SuperWoman, without ever questioning the eternal significance of the tedium of our days. Without ever questioning if it all matters at the end of the day, at the end of the year, at the end of a lifetime…

How far will you go this year to put away the things that don’t really matter?

Are You a Victim of…Focus Creep?

On By femmefuelIn Transform YourselfLeave a comment

Do you feel scattered, as if you were being pulled in a million different directions? Do you have a tendency to say YES to everything and everyone, thinking that all these activities are helping you to attain a richer spiritual life? Then, you might just be a victim of “focus creep.”

Keri Wyatt Kent of Kyria offers three spiritual practices that helped her to gain a more “sane-paced, God-focused life.” Read how you can avoid “focus creep” this year…

Kicking Off Your Master Plan

On By femmefuelIn Best of Sasha Katz, FemmeFeatures by Sasha Katz, Transform Yourself6 Comments

By AbbyA

January 2011.  The Daily Grind continues.  The Master Plan does not.  In other words, the Daily Grind will rock on.  But the Master Plan won’t kick off unless you plan for it.  Think not about the categorical boxes or time lines that tell you where you are.  Dig up the good stuff that seems far off.  Are you a talented CPA but used to dream about basketball?  Are you working 9-5 in a cubicle but design beautiful wedding cakes?  Are you changing diapers while thinking up a book on nutrition?  Wherever that dream went, find it, grab it.  Make it a Master Plan.

Think Big.  Start Light.  Grab a bound notebook and give it a date – – January 2011.  Jot down locations where you can start up your sport’s league.  Think about who would allow you to design their wedding cake.  Start collecting articles on the kid’s food revolution.  Add to it every week, every night, every month.  Once you have a handful of entries, write an outline of surfacing themes, tag your guiding principles and put action to the Master Plan.

Be clear, the Daily Grind is loud and the Master Plan is quiet.  The Daily Grind will Eat your Notebook in your Exhaustion.  It will Hide your Notebook in its Busyness.  The Daily Grind will Soak up your Dream like a Coffee Filter.  Dreams lost look like deflated balls.  Smooshed cakes.  Sluggish days devoid of backseat lightning to keep you moving.

Daily Grind keeps the world spinning round.  But it doesn’t set the spin in motion.  The Master Plan is the origination of the momentum.  It is the Steady Hand that gives you the dream.  It is the Voice of the Spirit that says you are capable and called to do one thing, but you were made to dream and do another.  Daily Grind and Dreams are Counterparts.  Both sides were drawn into Time.  Both Counterparts were Crafted into you.  No doubt, you can Occupy yourself Full Time with the Daily Grind.  But, without the Master Plan, the who you are will suffer loss in the long term.

The Even Greater Loss will be to the stale lives of those to whom you were meant to deliver your dream.  Someone who really needed to be part of something will not have a league to join.  Someone won’t have the chance to know you as a cake designer.  Someone won’t be enriched by your book bound wisdom.  If you already have lost a few Dreams, know that the Master Plan covers all sides.  The Master Plan will lead someone else’s ripe dream into the life of someone in need.  And, the Master Plan will give you yet another dream to construct into reality.  So, pick up your Notebook, your Cake, your Ball and your Book and venture into your Master Plan.  January 2011.