I am a notoriously optimistic positive person (the sickening kind).  I hate feeling sadness and grief. I have this weird belief that if I go through a difficult moment in life and I get all sad and stuff that I am a failure at Christianity.  Yup not joking.

So when I went through my recent tragedy and I got depressed. I felt like a failure for feeling depressed.  I started apologizing to God for not being happy through my storm.  I felt again a mess.

But He’s been teaching me about pain and joy being like family members to each other.  These emotions need each other although both really don’t want to hang out with the other because each thinks the other is cramping their style (or swag).   Isn’t that so typical of family relationships?  Often family members love each other but there are moments when they may not want the other there all the time.

Rob Bell, Christian author, says beautifully that “People moving towards each other, lamenting together, this is where God is.”   Isn’t that beautiful? As we express sorrow and our pain together, God is present.  We need to know what pain is to be able to recognize joy.  “If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.”  Anne Bradstreet, poet.

Margaret Manning Shull author and teacher of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries describes perfectly the description of the tug of war for Christians.  She says, “For Christians, ‘being happy’ can often resemble the language of victorious living and resurrection, to the exclusion of Jesus’s matter-of-fact instruction to his followers that in this world ‘you will have trouble, but I have overcome this world.’(1) I too easily forget that many who have gone before me as that great cloud of witnesses did not yet receive what was promised.(2) They, too, lived in a land of ‘maybe,’ and in the bittersweet juxtaposition of joy and sorrow.”

So let’s welcome the full range of emotions as we deal with difficulties and be ok with feeling those feelings.  Brene Brown, best-selling author, says:  “When you numb your pain you also numb your joy.” Sadness and pain have their time and season.   But don’t give up.  Remember God has you even as you are feeling the full extent of loss and pain.  Each difficult time has the potential for you to learn the tools needed for the next difficult event. And when the joyful moments come (because they will) allow yourself to feel that too and appreciate its time with you.  It’s time for us to welcome the dynamic of joy and pain at the family table together.

Read more at: http://www.azquotes.com/author/19318-Brene_Brown/tag/pain

http://www.preachitteachit.org/fileadmin/SiteFiles/LegacyUploads/Rob_Bell_Part_3_Lamentations.pdf

http://rzim.org/a-slice-of-infinity/for-the-joy-set-before-him

By Chris Sweet, guest contributor

God has been teaching me about feeling the joys of life while pain is present.  I’ve learned that His love is in the reflection of the shattered pieces of glass reflecting our brokenness.  It’s the glimpse of light on its shards.  The broken edge reflects the Creator’s loving gaze, who picks us up, roots for us to get up, heals us, and showers us with grace and mercy.

I’ve been encouraged by amazing books on the topic of loss and finding joy such as those written by Dr. Mary C. Neal and Pastor Levi Lusko who themselves have suffered unimaginable loss.   Dr. Neal wrote the book “To Heaven and Back” and Pastor Lusko wrote “Through the Eyes of a Lion”.  Dr. Neal died and went to heaven and returned to tell her story about Jesus, heaven and the angels.  She also suffered the loss of her son.  Pastor Lusko suffered the loss of his daughter.  The tragedies suffered by both are our worst nightmares.  But they talk about Jesus and their interaction with Him and the hope and healing He provides.  Dr. Neal in an interview said that the verses that were pressed into her spirit when she returned back to her body after dying were simple but powerful:

Pray without Ceasing 1 Thess 5:17

Be Joyful Always 1Thess 5:16

Give Thanks in All Circumstances  1 Thess 5:18

I love this simple mantra so much (Pray! Joy! Thanks!) that I wanted to share it with you.  When he lost his daughter, Pastor Lusko reflected on the assurance that what can’t be seen with the naked eye is being also worked out by God.  He states in his book that “This is the war:  every moment of every day, we must make the all-important choice of whether we will rely on the naked eye.  Will we trust what we can see is there, or believe what God says is there?  …  The apostle Paul put it this way:  ‘So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.  For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.’  2 Corinthians 4:18 NLT.”

We have all suffered such tragedies in our own lives.  Remind yourself that Jesus loves you.  Hold on to the things that cannot be seen.  He is always working behind the scenes of your life.  His intent toward us is love. Take the verses in the Bible as God’s promises to you that He has you.  And as we continue our days on earth in whatever form and with whatever condition, let us hold these verses as our mantra “Pray without ceasing, be joyful always, and give thanks in all circumstances.”  Here are some ideas for living that mantra:

Pray without ceasing.  Have an open conversation with God that starts in the morning and just talk to him throughout the day and ending in the evening before you go to bed.

Live with Joy.  Laugh, tell jokes and enjoy conversations with family and friends.  Take a moment and look at nature and appreciate the beauty in this world.  Do things that make you happy and try to figure out ways to make others happy (e.g. by sending that encouraging text message).

Be grateful.  Tell God all the things you are grateful for.  Have your family and friends name off things that they are grateful for when you get together.

And, don’t give up on your dreams that God has whispered to you from the time you were born.  Do your mission and live “Pray! Joy! Thanks!”  (Love it, love it, love it).

Mindset of a Warrior

By Chris Sweet, guest contributor, leadership trainer guru, life is awesome consultant, and oh-so-cool parent

Argh.  I sighed surveying the seemingly endless dark, steep walls around me.  Oxygen seemed to be leaving the room slowly after I got thrown into the ditch by my enemy.  The fight I was just in was longer than one I have ever experienced in my life.  Every part of me was impacted severely.  I felt my emotional, physical and spiritual break apart under the weight of the experience I was going through.  I laid down.  “God, “ I sighed.  “Do you love me?”  I started sobbing as the weight of my enemy’s memory sat on my chest.  The enemy mocked me, lied about me, and choked every part of me until what was remaining of me was slight.  I read through scripture, listened to sermons and I tried to do the right thing as the attack continued.  As it continued, the truth kept me grounded.  The truth kept my eyes on Christ.  As my life sometimes felt like it was draining out of me during my trial, my center felt safe in Him.  Even though my mind and brain was processing the devastation and asking the questions of why to God, the Holy Spirit calmed my angst and reminded me of His love.  He spoke through the books I read, my friends who prayed alongside me and the pastors I listened to.  I took each word, each encouragement and put it around me as bandage each day as I woke up to a new day of pain during my trial.  Life is hard.  No question about that.

I wish I could have told you that I was a rockstar and said “Thank you God” and didn’t once question His love and why.  But I did.  I did. I think that God wants you to have real conversation with Him.  He already knows your heart.  Nothing that we say is a surprise to Him.  I’ve had to remind myself of that repeatedly.  God loves me.  His intentions are love and to protect me.  This world is chaotic.  I am subject to the choices made by the people in it.  And, I’ve learned that the warrior mind is not to run from the war or battle ahead which could be our version of personal issues at work, family or life.  But to do our part in it and chose to be courageous.

So, how do we stay focused right in the midst of the battle?

1. Remind yourself of God’s love towards you and He will bless you for living right.

God’s curse blights the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous. He gives proud skeptics a cold shoulder, but if you’re down on your luck, he’s right there to help. Wise living gets rewarded with honor; stupid living gets the booby prize. Proverbs 3:34 (MSG)

I’ve written verses down on post-it notes and carried it with me during the work day so I could be reminded of God’s promises.  I’ve captured phrases or words in books on paper so I could be forced to change how I view what I am going through and change my actions as a result.

2. Read books and tap into resources from experts on battling your mind, strengthening your mental health, keeping physically strong and strengthening your spiritual armor.

Thank goodness that God created experts in these fields of survival and there are books out there to help.

3. Change the filter through which you view what you are going through. It’s easy to be caught up in self-pity.  I’ve done it.

“The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or a curse.” ― Carlos Castaneda

If you change your filter on how you are viewing what is happening to you as a challenge, suddenly the challenge has purpose.

4. Practice gratitude.  Praise God for the trial so that it can be used to develop you.

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.  You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.  So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely.  Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.” James 1:2-4 (MSG)

“Recognizing all you have to be thankful for – even during the worse times of your life – fosters resilience.” Amy Morin, “7 Scientifically Proven Benefits of Gratitude That Will Motivate You to Give Thanks Year-Round”, www.forbes.com

Continue your mission to ride the storm courageously.  Consider each trial a time to practice what you’ve learned and to reassess the habits and tools you use in crisis and to change them if necessary.

Resources:

“13 things mentally strong people don’t do” by Amy Morin

“The Secret Power of Speaking God’s Word” by Joyce Meyer’

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