Category: FemmeBytes by Sasha Katz

Happy Mother’s Day

On By femmefuelIn FemmeBytes by Sasha Katz, May 2011 (Motherhood)Leave a comment

By AbbyA

JMathis had to mention the Proverbs 31 woman, didn’t she?  I actually don’t mind her too much.  She works. Prov. 31:16, 24.  She’s involved in her community.  Prov. 31:20.  She has a maid. Prov. 31:15.  She’s sexy, dresses well and has great things to say.  Prov. 31:18 (her light doesn’t go out at night), 22, 26.  Not bad.  The praise of this woman is wrapped up in verse 30 – – Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.

Mmmm, well, I don’t think of myself as particularly charming.  Certainly smiley, but not chatty or nearly charismatic  enough to be charming.  But, beauty, that’s a bit more of a personal question.  What do you think about yourself?  Wherever your confidence falls on the 1-10 scale, we can all agree that IT IS PASSING.

I used to make light of my girlfriend’s passing birthdays.  She’s about four years older than I am.  I laughed as she carried on about turning 30.  I told her it didn’t matter when she turned 35.  Now that I am 35, I shut up really fast when she mused sarcastically about turning 40 this fall.  Ugh.  It is passing.

Sometimes I take my first a.m. look in the mirror and determine that I either have two black eyes or I am seriously aging.  I remember giving my best newborn advice to my pregnant best friend – – pull off brushing your teeth before your husband wakes up and you’ve done well.  I more recently have taken my mom’s advise – – after years of not wearing make-up – – once you turn 35, don’t leave home without it!

So, for me, charm is irrelevant, beauty IS passing, but a woman who fears the Lord . . . The fearing the Lord concept is, I think, perfect.  But the language doesn’t translate very well.  To me, the fear concept is my acknowledgement that I am very small and broken and He is very big and whole.  Even when I fail, the rocks cry out in praise of Him. Luke 19:40.   That is a creation that fears the Lord.  I can do the same.

That leaves us with praise from Him.  I will tell you that this is recent find for me.  I have spent a whole lot of time feeling partially unworthy and inadequate. Not the kind that causes you to hide under a turtle shell, but the kind that holds you back from really receiving the love of the Lord.  Now, because God is so good, He used my faulty feelings about myself to bring me squarely face to face with Him.  And in my inadequacy and failures and independent choices, He makes sweet, pink lemonade.  And then He really bursts my heart by giving me the credit for becoming more like Him.  He gives me praise.

AbbyA and Her Proverbs 31 Mom

That’s where I am going to leave you this Mother’s Day weekend.  Receive your praise.  I bet this weekend you are going to get some handmade cards, maybe flowers, sweetie-pie kisses.  You may even feel the Holy Spirit reminding you how faithful you have been with your little ones and how He is so pleased with you.   Drink it in.  Don’t wait as long as I did to see how much He loves you and how little He cares about your human failures.   Belt it out in praise of Him; He’s right back atcha!

BE VULNERABLE

On By femmefuelIn FemmeBytes by Sasha Katz, May 2011 (Motherhood)Leave a comment

By AbbyA

So I definitely know about the COW syndrome.  And, I certainly admit to being more than tipsy – – okay South Beach 5am tipsy – –  when my second was conceived.  JMathis and Bindu are not ALONE.  And isn’t it just that kind of secret that keeps us Christians zipped up with lock and key.

Secrets.  Knocked up tipsy.  Don’t admit it.  Admiring your Pamela Anderson size milky boobs.  Only in your closet.  Beat up car in a parking lot of apparently deserving wealthy people.  Keep smiling.  Alcoholic husband left you (for real) at the Easter celebration in your PreK’ers class.   I must be an idiot.  Yes, Christian husband got snipped.  Is it okay to shoot blanks?  Walking alone married on a Christian campus of perfect couples.  Not good enough.  Not smart enough.  Not rich enough.  Secrets.

Be vulnerable.  Not because there is anything just so fabulous about you or me.  In fact, that’s the point.  Not because your walk is perfect or you have all of the wisdom.   Be vulnerable.  Yes, you can reveal your needy, imperfect self.  Because, somehow, you end up looking into the eyes of your hurting friend and you set her free.  That would be the opposite of keeping your deep-dark secret.  The truth is that it probably isn’t that dark.  The truth is that it is probably just deep enough for you to reach out to change your friend’s view of herself.  Change her outlook.  Pull out her beauty.  Set her free.

In her chat on friends, Lisa Whelchel talks about how she learned how to choose and be a friend as an adult.  She passed on some most excellent advice.  (My paraphrase)  Find a Christian woman that looks like she is a big mess.  She shows up to drop off occassionally looking like a bomb shot off at her house.  She has blown it big and everyone knows it.  The beautiful, all together ladies don’t talk to her.  That is just the kind of friend you want.  She will never leave you, she’ll tell you her secrets and she’ll keep yours.  Freedom.  Be vulnerable.  Even He laid down His life for His friends.  John 15:13.

Get Out of the Closet

On By femmefuelIn April 2011 (April Showers...), Best of Sasha Katz, FemmeBytes by Sasha KatzLeave a comment

By AbbyA

My little boy was CAUGHT.  I found empty gold fish bags, smushed caramel popcorn and jelly bean bags all hidden in the corner of my closet.  I am furious.  Although he is just about perfect, he sneaks, hides and covers up FOOD.  What is this all about?  I ask myself.  FLESH.  His little boy flesh wants what he wants and he’s willing to break the rules to get it.  But, the clincher is that he figures that if he’s hiding himself and the remains in my closet, no one really knows what he has been up to.

Aren’t we just like little kids?  We are hiding in our closet with our sin and suffering. We think we are in the dark.  We think no one can see.   It looks like JMathis’ family ignoring the elephant-gone-mental at the family reunion.  It sounds like – “I’m fine.  How are you?”  It feels like Bindu’s shackled prisoner of shame.

I remember my twenty-something outward appearance.  Laid back, content, passing on peace 99.9% of the time.  I don’t think anyone, other than the Lord, knew what was happening or what I fighting for those years.  I set out to crucify premarital sex, fill up the hole that caused me to really want attention from men and figure out who I am in Christ without the desire to achieve or kill myself with perfectionism.   The past can be unkind; unraveling is painful.  Particularly if you trap yourself in a closet.

The truth of the matter is that God knows and God sees.  Despite the fact that you hide in a closet, you are busted by the Lord of Lords.  The worst part of the oddity of isolation is that we really think that God doesn’t feel our pain and shed tears.  I think His tears fall on us when He sees us clinging to the darkness.  He is standing there with you in the darkness.  He’s calling you, rooting for you, inviting you to come into the light.  He wants to wash us with the Word, prune us and make us whole.  Get out of the closet.  If you can’t do it alone, grab on to a trusted friend or counselor and let them help pull you out.

At the moment, my kids think that I have secret powers that allow me to know everthing about them and everything they do.  It is my hope that through my parenting, they’ll eventually see that it’s not me with the power, but it’s our Lord.  Mom can take her own advice now and then.  Jump out of the closet and into the arm’s of God.  Undoubtedly, a risk worth taking.

Where You Are Beautiful

On By femmefuelIn April 2011 (April Showers...), FemmeBytes by Sasha KatzLeave a comment

By AbbyA

After reading JMathis’ prayer yesterday, my imagination took me walking through a very serene, alive, white pure place.  In this place, I am aware that my sins are buried somewhere deep and covered.  The awareness of my covered sins magnifies the holiness of this pure white place.  I think this is where I am who I really am.  In this light, I am beautiful.

Bindu reminded us of Just As I Am.  On planet earth, just as I am (me) is in desperate need of His grace.  I fumble and fail and then get up again.  But the just as I am on the other side is already cleansed by the blood of Christ.  This is where I walk on snowy powder that isn’t cold.  This place is beautiful.

Sometimes it rains very hard.  We end up feeling cold, drenched and alone.  In those lonely places, take heart.  He has overcome the world.  John 16:33.  For those with faith, heaven is a guarantee.  Discover who you are in His perfection while you are still walking in earth’s mud.  Such a journey just might open the door to seeing who you are in Him.  And, that, my friend, is beautiful.

Have a wonderful weekend.

I Have Made You A Strong Tower

On By femmefuelIn April 2011 (April Showers...), FemmeBytes by Sasha KatzLeave a comment

By AbbyA

The name of the Lord is a strong tower.  Proverbs 18:10a. 

Girlfriends, I don’t know who you have the privilege to hold on to  – – whether it be when you wipe out on the dock in your cork platforms or whether you’re wiped out from your dad’s funeral.  Maybe it’s your husband or your mom or your best friend.  But . . . we have a Lord who is a strong tower.  And, somehow, when we rely on Him, He puts His power in us so we can stand like a strong tower.

I remember standing in church several years ago.  I was experiencing extreme gratitude and feeling quite strong.  God showed me one of the pillars holding up the sanctuary and spoke to me – – I have made you a strong tower.  I had perservered through a fair amount of sin and pain.  I reached a place of contentment with self and gratitude for the new creation He made of me.    Because of Him, I had become a strong tower.

Strong Tower.  Whether you need to lean on one or whether you need to be one, call on the Lord.  He takes empty, broken, sinful selves and builds towers tall and strong.   His foundation never cracks and never changes.  Selah.

You are His greatest work, His greatest love, His most special child.

On By femmefuelIn April 2011 (April Showers...), FemmeBytes by Sasha KatzLeave a comment

By AbbyA

“Kaleidoscopic shards” – – this sounds about right if we are defining life without God.  Broken pieces with sharp edges.  Sort of feels abandoned and unwelcoming.  Sort of feels like you can’t get it together and the opposite of hospitable.  Sounds like a woman’s worst nightmare really.

The best part about God is that He really doesn’t mind how sharp our edges are or how unlovable we may be sometimes.  I figure that God is so good and so wise that the more broken pieces He has to put together, the more joy He takes in His masterpiece.  And, yes, you are His masterpiece – – finished or not, you are His greatest work, His greatest love, His most special child.  You are “allowed” to believe that, you know.  (Whether you are a child or a parent (or both), you know that one can give all of his love to all of his children at the same time. )  Better yet, I think we have His permission to believe that.  When we finally receive how much He really loves us, you will wholeheartedly believe that He sees you without any flaw.  Colossians 1:22.  Receipt of His unending love is a significant puzzle piece in recovering from depression.   Think about that.  Take a look at the quote below.  Breathe it in, let it go.  God loves you so much.

Life, too, is like a kaleidoscope.  Our brokenness comprises life’s kaleidoscopic shards, but when we turn it in God’s direction, we see how He puts a whole new spin on our perspectives.  God’s wastes nothing.  He uses whatever touches our lives for divine purposes. . . .

In that spectacular perspective we who are believers take heart.  God ultimately uses our past, secures our today, and holds our destiny.  As chaotic as life is, as purposeless as some events see, and as brief as our days are, God’s plans are being fulfilled.  And anything over which He pronounces, “And it is good,” shall be exactly that. –Excerpt from Kaleidoscope, Patsy Clairmont

An Upside Down World

On By femmefuelIn April 2011 (April Showers...), FemmeBytes by Sasha Katz2 Comments

By AbbyA

In thinking about yesterday’s post – – burn out, grief, anger, bitterness, stress, shame – – I remember an excerpt from C.S. Lewis’ “An Upside Down World.”  He describes planet earth as

Valley of Tears, Cursed with Labour, Hemmed Round with Necessities, Tripped Up with Frustration, Doomed to Perpetual Plannings, Puzzlings and Anxieties.

It is no wonder that when the barrel becomes too full, we may be overcome by depression.  I have been there quite recently myself.  I felt like all was lost, cloudy, that everything was taken from me, loneliness, failure, systematic tears.  One afternoon, experiencing all of those emotions at once, I told myself to get up.  A dear friend had just told me that I was depressed and I needed to talk to someone about that.  That is what I did, my fellow sisters.

Don’t reach in when you are falling apart – – reach out.  This Upside Down World will beat up and turn you inside out.  Don’t do it alone.  If you think you are depressed, find a Christian counselor and start putting things back together.  It was about a month ago, my counselor said to me that I was smiling.  What a thought!

If you are looking for a trusted counselor, post a comment.  FemmeFuel will share with you many resources that just may make all the difference in your world.  I will be praying for you, sisters.  Love, AbbyA