Category: FemmeBytes by Sasha Katz

Missing Parts

On By femmefuelIn Best of Sasha Katz, FemmeBytes by Sasha Katz, FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz, Mind Body Spirit Connection2 Comments

By AbbyA

We pass through life with some missing parts.  Our life stories shed some light on what was missed along the way.  One of His greatest wonders is His care for missing parts.  He digs right inside our hearts and minds to the questions we ask only to ourselves.  He reaches into the hopes you secretly have.  To the dreams you don’t dare to share.  He reaches in, in such a way, that you and He acknowledge silently that there is a missing part.

But it doesn’t end there.  God is a God of delivering missing parts.  He sees them in you – – chips at your heart, dents in your smile, limps, broken arms and, well, missing parts.  And, instead of delivering the missing parts in UPS boxes to your home, He goes through far more trouble.  He spreads out His omniscience to the far ends of the earth.  He calls on His hands and His feet – – through cousins and colleagues, friend and foe, pastors and parents.  He hints at His delivery in many languages to be sure you understand.    He puts in motion innumerable “coincidences” to ensure that you are confident that the true recipient is you.  He takes His time so your heart is ready for receipt.  There is no end to what He will do to show His love to you.

When the missing part is delivered, you first have few words.  Your heart and mind can’t quite comprehend how someone as small as yourself, with so many missing parts, in a world of so many needy people, has been delivered – – in such a personal way.  While you receive with joy your missing parts, there is a present and lasting wonder at the care God took in delivering His love to you.  It is the overwhelming thought that the invisible God  – – who is holding the galaxies in His Hands  – – has set out to deeply communicate His love for you.

Your God spends past, present and future revealing Himself to you.  Like a huge domino display, the momentum of each of domino falls in His orchestrated direction.  Until the last domino falls into your lap.   All in the name of making His love personal to you.  In the name of proving that His love will not only deliver and but deliver missing parts.

What Would I Do For Love?

On By femmefuelIn FemmeBytes by Sasha Katz, Mind Body Spirit ConnectionLeave a comment

By AbbyA

What would I do for love?  My answer to that is Deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow Him.  Matthew 16:24.  We learn what the Word means when it comes to life in our hearts.  I once was a downtown, boutique firm girl with aspirations of influence and notoriety.  I also was a newlywed.  Actually, I was a pregnant newlywed.  Married in May, pregnant in November.  Blue?  Is it blue?  What do you think, honey?  Is it blue?  Yes, I sat on the toilet in disbelief.  Disbelief turned into excitement.

But then, after a few days, I remembered my aspirations of influence and notoriety.  I became very sad and cried for days.  My poor husband didn’t know what to do to console me.  My mom sort of tsked me about the obvious consequences of not using birth control.  My dad, who had told me the month prior that I should wait five years to have kids, said he was very excited and took back his prior recommendation.

So, what happened in my heart to cause a 180 degree turn around?  I came across one of my favorite verses to date – – Matthew 16:24 – – Deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow Him.  This verse changed my sorrow to true happiness.  This life change wasn’t about me and my selfish aspirations.  While I could have chosen to be more responsible, wherever we are in our life’s timeline, it’s about following Him.  And, following the path He has set before us.

Yes, I know, God has to work around, with and through our free will choices and obvious humanness.  He has to revise His blueprint and connect the dots for us as we trash and trample the good and perfect plan He has for us.  Yes, stuff like materialism and achievement are strong magnets for the flesh – – even when we are in the midst of ministry.  But, if we are in constant check with the Holy Spirit, our little curves toward self-ambition, hedonism and the like can be straightened out long before actually turning our back on Him.

As JMathis, Bindu and I set out to serve God and our readers through this blog, it would be silly not to acknowledge our humanness . . . affinity towards sin and wipe-outs.  But, it also would be silly not to acknowledge that most of us have a dream set inside of us.  And, most of the time, it is not our day job.  May I remind us that it is God who created us and set that dream in our hearts.  And, isn’t it just the lie of Satan (that wretched, puny snake) to convince us that the dream in our hearts is somehow against His will for our lives?  As if life isn’t hard enough . . .

As we inch towards the end of our week on keeping the spirit connected . . . seek God for the dream in your heart.  We can’t possibly attain it in our own strength, but we also can’t achieve it without using all of the strength God has given us.  Ah, the balance . . . If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing.  John 15:5.

What really is “good”?

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By AbbyA

JMathis and Bindu are talking about all the noise in our lives.  More often than not, it is “good” noise that we are flooding ourselves with.  Do you know what JMathis was watching before she wrote Monday’s blog on worshipping television?  She was watching the very intense, survival interview of Jaycee Dugard.  Good story.  On Tuesday, Bindu talked, in part, about using technology to wind down, get her mind off life.  This is “good” noise, right?  In our fast paced lives, what really is “good” is a hard question.

My little boy asked me, “Mom, why do we have to go to church today?”  I said, “because God blesses us all week long and we have just one day for just a few hours that He asks us to come to His house to worship Him.”   He is a very easy-going, laid back child, so he didn’t say much back, but I could tell he was not really convinced.  I got somewhat fired up and said, “QK, if you want God to keep blessing your mind so you can keep getting good grades and, if you want God to continue giving you favor in your endeavors, you have got to give Him this day.”  QK was convinced; we have the kind of relationship where he trusts me on such things.  He changed his attitude and off we went.

Since we have been home from vacation (two weeks), I have “forgotten” my phone 2-3 times on the way out for the day.  Although I truly forgot the thing, when I remembered, I felt the Holy Spirit tugging on me.  “AbbyA, you left it at home because I planned it that way.  Lay off the emails, texts and internet so I can plant more important things in you.  Even if that means silence.”  I changed my impatient attitude and off I went.

My downfall isn’t tv, but it is my severe tendency to be on several missions all at the same time.  I am so severe in this multi-tasking mindset that I don’t hear anything around me at all.  It all comes to a halt, however, when I push so hard that I find myself physically dizzy.  So, I ask myself, instead of my boy, “Do I want God to keep blessing me, giving me favor in my endeavors, giving me health and a sound mind?”  What really is good for me in my Savior’s eyes? 

As our Body-Mind-Spirit Challenge continues, ask God what really is good for you.  It may be that He has a night of relaxing tv in store for you.  It may be that you are so reliant on your night-time tv routine that you don’t even hear your Lord saying hello, checking in on your day, telling you He loves you.  Maybe you are not a tv addict, but you are so busy with multi-tasking that you are physically dizzy from it all.  If you can get un-plugged, it may be that He has perfect silence planned for you.  And, in that silence, while you may not hear His voice, you may just feel His presence.  I don’t know exactly what He has in store  for you, but I do know that, if you are willing to turn off even the “good” noise, it will be better than you imagined and more than you hoped for.  No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.  1 Corinthians 2:9.  Go with that, it will be worth it.

Hold Me Now

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By AbbyA

The Body . . . it causes us so much trouble.  Think about it – – it is literally made of flesh.  Oh, the troubles that arise from the flesh.  It wakes up stinky – – morning breath, bed head.  It’s lazy – – flesh would rather sit on the couch than work out.  It grows old – – it wrinkles up, stops hearing and seeing.  It’s not just that – – it begs for more food when it is full.  It craves things like alcohol and Xanax.   It convinces us we need to fulfill it with cigarettes, bad men and just about any variation of recklessness.

The flesh.  Without control from the Spirit, it’s like a two year old without time-out.  It rants and it raves for the things that harm it and cause it pain.  I remember overcoming my own flesh – – fighting through my twenties, wrestling with the birth of my spiritual woman.  She was within me but required strengthening to overcome the selfish flesh of my youth.  Such a change requires fasting, long talks with God, many tears and consistent worship of the one true, living God who believes in you.

As we close this week’s exploration of the body, take a good, deep look at yourself.  Does your body hold its rightful place as a conduit for Christ?  Or is it an out of control two year old?  Are you being kind to your body by exercising and feeding it well?  Are you giving it the rest it needs to support your better half?  (Of course, I am referring to the Spirit.)  Is your body responsive to your spirit?

In my journey of growing up spiritually through my twenties, I spent hours with Jennifer Knapp’s first album.  My favorite song from that album was and is Hold Me Now.  Some of my most life changing moments entailed me, my little black Toyota and Jennifer Knapp.  Think about where you are at with your body.  Strong or weak, broken or poor, You are His.   He will hold you and mend you until you are perfect in Him.  After all, He spilled his own body’s blood to make you new.

Hold Me Now, By Jennifer Knapp

From the glass alabaster she poured out the depth of her soul
O foot of Christ would you wait if her harlotries known?
Falls a tear to darken the dirt
Of humblest offerings to forgive the hurt
She is strong enough to stand in your love
I can hear her say….

I’m weak
I’m poor
I’m broken, Lord
But I’m your’s
Hold me now, hold me now

Let he without sin cast the first stone if he will
To say that my bride isn’t worth half the blood that I’ve spilled
Point your finger and laugh if you choose
To say my beloved is borrowed and used
She is strong enough to stand in My love
I can hear her say….

I’m weak
I’m poor
I’m broken, Lord
But I’m your’s
Hold me now, hold me now

Stop Talking to Yourself Like That!

On By femmefuelIn FemmeBytes by Sasha Katz, Mind Body Spirit ConnectionLeave a comment

By AbbyA

Bindu: Skinny. Fat. Average Jane. Supermodel Janelle. We all have issue with our bodies.

AbbyA: I remember being big for my age as early as 6 or 7. I am not sure if I actually was, but I sure felt big compared to all of the other little girls my age.

JMathis: I have been a yo-yo dieter since elementary school.

Bindu: And is it me, but why is okay to wear bikinis out in public when it’s not okay to wear our bras and underwear out in public? Aren’t they one and the same? Or am I the only prude who thinks so?!

AbbyA: I actually wanted to wear a bikini (at age 6 or 7). I remember picking one out and my granny lovingly, discreetly putting it back.

JMathis: Between my college years and until about age thirty, I was a pretty “successful” anorexic. Most of my twenties were spent tricking my body into staying thin—on the surface, at least, it looked like I had everything under control.

AbbyA: I just know that the college girl who loved her mom’s cooking (me) was rudely awakened by the extreme thinness all around my university campus. But because of my own mother’s wonderful balance and view of food, I lost weight in that environment but never deprived myself to the point of an eating disorder. I think I just like food more than being skinny.

Bindu: For those of us who are no longer in our twenties and especially those of us who have had kids, that means not eating. Ever again.

AbbyA’s Friend: Ok, self-disgust to me is having no time to take care of the way I look and knowing that I need to lose 20 pounds but can’t stop stuffing my face with food.

Lysa TerKeurst: . . . I was constantly bouncing between feeling deprived and guilty. All. The. Time. I was either feeling deprived because I was trying to watch what I ate or feeling guilty because I’d slipped back into the ‘eat whatever I want’ phase. Deprived. Guilty. Deprived. Guilty. I couldn’t stop this incessant bouncing until . . .

AbbyA: Sort of strange, but I really don’t think about it that often until I look around me, and momentarily, compare myself to other moms. What is that?

JMathis: By my thirties, however, and particularly after having a baby, my body just stopped cooperating with these parlor games. No matter what shortcuts I used to lose weight, my body rebelled even more, and stubbornly held onto every calorie ingested.

AbbyA’s 5 Year Old Daughter: Mom, why does your butt go over the side of the toilet?

AbbyA’s Mom: Why overeat? It’s just food. We can wake up again and eat tomorrow.

Lysa TerKeurst: Now my goals have nothing to do with a number on the scale. My goal now is peace. Peace. And I can assure you, no treat in this world tastes as good as this peace feels. From Nothing Tastes As Good As Peace Feels, by Lysa TerKeurst, http://lysaterkeurst.com/

JMathis: Make peace with yourself today. Make peace with your body today. Make peace with your Creator today.

Bindu: And even if your body is less than ideal, resolve to find your peace with it. Several years ago, I came to the conclusion that it was futile to fight my body. I was never going to be a supermodel so why was I bothering to hate and fight it so? I might as well accept the way God made me and do my best to take care of it.

AbbyA/Final Thoughts: Fellow sisters, I don’t think there is another area where we do more self-talk. Yes, talking to ourselves. We do a good job at kicking ourselves in the face and not such a good job of building ourselves up when it comes to our bodies. The bottom line is that we are His hands and His feet. Our body is His temple. We are physically made in His image. Better yet, we belong to Him. This area of body image and food is so vast that it is hard to wrap it up in one thought. But, I think the answer is, that wherever you are, get wrapped up in Him. There is no better way to bury an idol – – whether the idol is your body or the food you put into it – – than to seek refuge in the one true living God. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of [your enemies], for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Deuteronomy 31:8.

Be Out of Your Ordinary: The 31 Day Mind-Body-Spirit Challenge

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By AbbyA

As the heat of summer kicks in – – kids out of school – – the regular routine is on hold for a few more months.  Less traffic, more weekend plans, road trips.  We have a chance to be somewhat out of our ordinary.  We took a road trip to the Blue Ridge Mountains.  Although I worked a fair amount of it, I stayed up late without worrying about lack of sleep for tomorrow.  I saw the bloom of beautiful pink rhododendrons on the top of Roan Mountain.  I watched our kids roar with laughter on the white water raft.  I had a chance to be challenged spiritually . . . walked a little further down the path that God has prepared for me.  Celebrated my birthday.  But even there in the midst of surroundings that look like God’s perfect peace, we can be distracted.  Did I really need to skip my morning bible study to try to finish my work  before the kids woke up?  Did I really need to bypass a country drive with my husband because it was time to make dinner preparations?  Did the laundry in the cabin basement really matter?  (Okay, that did.)

The heart of what I am getting at is God’s greatest commandment to Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  Matthew 22:37.  God fully equipped us to serve Him with the gift of intellect, hands and feet and a spirit.  While we know that the Trinity always is in perfect peace, keeping our mind, body and spirit connected is not easy.   The tough part is that if we are not connected in body-mind-spirit, we trip up in our judgment.  Hence, skipping a drive with husband to cook dinner or skipping a bible study for no good reason.  It comes out in other ways too.  How about feeling exhausted and, instead of taking a jog or a nap, you go through way too many Ghirardelli squares to calm your nerves.  And, what about those nerves?  Have you given your mind attainable, challenging goals?  Or are you cycling through out-of-whack emotions where you can’t focus?

Connecting your mind-body-spirit is not about self-help or self-improvement.  It’s about honoring God’s greatest commandment to love Him with all three.  The Trinity gives us the best example of this.  Each of its person serves a purpose and stays in perfect unity with the other.  If we can seek to keep the mind, body and spirit connected, we’ll be able to genuinely live out God’s greatest commandment.

This month, give yourself a chance to be out of your ordinary with us.  We are going to take a week to look at and consider, first, our body.  We have so much to cover as women – – our body image, fitness goals, our body’s health.  During week two, we’ll delve into our mind.  What are your intellectual, professional, financial and career goals?  Are you setting out to make the best of your mind and keeping it healthy too?  Finally, the spirit.  Where are you at in your walk with God?  If you asked Him, would He tell you that you are just where He wants you or is it time to make some adjustments?  Yes, there is week four.  But, we are going to let God lead.  No doubt, you the readers and the Holy Spirit will tell where to end on this all-encompassing 31 day journey.    Be Out of Your Ordinary.  You never know where God will take you.

Welcome to the Jungle!

On By femmefuelIn Best of Sasha Katz, FemmeBytes by Sasha Katz, June 2011 (Men and Boys)2 Comments

By AbbyA

Sex . . . when you are single, all you do is think about the possibility of it.  And, when you are married, all you do is think about when you will have the time, energy and desire to have it!  Ugh.  No wonder Paul said it is better to remain single.  1 Corinthians 7:8.  All of those daydreams of the married life where you were going to wear new lingerie all the time; snuggle in bed all night; have lots of sex, including more than once a day in various places throughout the house.  You were basically, in a very pure way, going to make up for all those years of faithfully treating your body as His temple. 

Well, welcome to the jungle, girls.  Excluding the first year of marriage . . . Okay, I will be generous and extend it to the birth of your first child . . . Excluding your married life without children, you are probably not wearing a whole lot of that sexy stash of lingerie.  Come on, your bootie takes up twice the space it used to and those darn sexy tops have no wire to hold up your breasts that were sucked  dry by your babies.  You are not snuggling all night (or at least I’m not) because your husband gets too hot after the twenty minutes of body touch.  And, more than once a day in various places through the house?  What?  How many nights do you actually get to sleep without any kids finding their way to your room?  Or, better yet, how often can you stay awake once your head hits the darn pillow?  Sex . . . we wanted it so badly while we waited but now that we have a marriage partner we can’t seem to get any, or to even want it at all.

I will admit that Bindu has far more intelligent answers and helpful insight on the whole matter.  So, I am just going to give it to you raw.  Marriage is tough.  And, if you are like me, I carry all of my emotions to the bedroom.  If I am beat up in my marriage relationship, I have no passion for sex.  In fact, at times like these, my Lord hears me praying (or venting really) to Him during sex.  I survive the sex.  And then, honestly, feel really defeated as a wife that I can’t get this area straight.  Really, can’t I just enjoy the physical pleasure regardless of how disappointed I am?  I am not sure that I know any man who needs any more than a glimpse of his wife’s body or even a sexy thought to get his passion fiery.  Just doesn’t work for me.  I need to feel loved, adored, cared for and protected.

So, ladies, here’s where I am at.  My thoughts are two-fold.  On the one hand, pray, pray and pray some more.  It has been the major life-changer in my sexual relationship with my husband.  By no means is it perfect, but God answers my prayers – – granting the desires of my heart; even if He first has to change my heart before blessing me with more passion and peace in my marital relationship.

On the other hand, acknowledge the role that Satan plays in seeking to destroy marriages.  What better way to axe away at a marriage than to take away or diminish the one thing that is exclusive to it?  Acknowledge the devil as a squirmy worm that Jesus has already crushed and pray, pray, pray.  God always shows up for His children who ask for His help.  Just ask; He will show up for you in this area as He shows up for me.

And, as a silly sidenote, don’t worry about the size of your butt or your once perky boobs, (with prayer) test the waters.  Whether it’s a white water rafting adventure God has in mind or a slow canoe ride on the pond, give it a shot.  God never delivers void.  Always victorious, pure, holy and sweet.  Trust Him with your life and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37: 3-6

3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

 5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.