Category: FemmeBytes by Bindu Adai-Mathew

Authenticity: What Lies Beneath

On By femmefuelIn FemmeBytes by Bindu Adai-Mathew, September 2011 (Authenticity)1 Comment

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

Today is the day, is it not? Well, not really…at least not for me. My Big Reveal has been taking place the last seven years of my life.

After all, there is nothing like the pressure cooker of the first year of marriage to reveal your most stubborn, most selfish side.

And just when you’ve mastered the art of compromising, there is nothing like motherhood that makes you re-learn it all over again. But then you also discover that there’s the softer, unselfish side of yourself that surprised even you.

And, of course, there’s nothing like an unfulfilling career, a layoff, or a struggling economy that throw some additional sparks into your Big Reveal.

Authenticity. Like an onion being peeled layer by layer.

Authenticity. Like the slow eroding of rock by water.

Authenticity doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a continual process of God refining us. But like any refinement, it’s painful. It involves revealing truths about ourselves that even we’re blind to.

I think of Job whom God took everything from to test what was really in his heart. Did he honor God because of his wealth? So what if God took that, his children, and his health from him? Would he still honor God? He did, but would you still be able to?

I think of Peter whom Jesus foretold would deny him 3X before the rooster crowed twice.

 Mark 14:29Peter said to him, “Even if everyone else deserts you, I never will.”

30Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, Peter—this very night, before the rooster crows twice, you will deny three times that you even know me.”

31“No!” Peter declared emphatically. “Even if I have to die with you, I will never deny you!” And all the others vowed the same. 

And just a few hours later…

 66Meanwhile, Peter was in the courtyard below. One of the servant girls who worked for the high priest came by 67and noticed Peter warming himself at the fire. She looked at him closely and said, “You were one of those with Jesus of Nazareth.m”

68But Peter denied it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, and he went out into the entryway. Just then, a rooster crowed.n

69When the servant girl saw him standing there, she began telling the others, “This man is definitely one of them!” 70But Peter denied it again.

A little later some of the other bystanders confronted Peter and said, “You must be one of them, because you are a Galilean.”

71Peter swore, “A curse on me if I’m lying—I don’t know this man you’re talking about!” 72And immediately the rooster crowed the second time.

Suddenly, Jesus’ words flashed through Peter’s mind: “Before the rooster crows twice, you will deny three times that you even know me.” And he broke down and wept.

Authenticity. What will God reveal about you?

Authenticity. Will you let that remain your defining moment or will you allow it to reshape you into whom God always intended you to be?

Thank You, Lord!

On By femmefuelIn August 2011 (Cultivating Friendships), FemmeBytes by Bindu Adai-Mathew1 Comment

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

Thank you, Lord, for friendships. Without them, Childhood would have been sadness. Adolescence would have been torturous. And Adulthood would have been meaningless.

Thank you, Lord, for friendships.Even for friends long-gone from my life.Whose absence once saddened my heart now waft in my mind like the lingering, nostaligic scent of a sweet memory.

Thank you, Lord, for friendships. For friends of today who were unexpected blessings. For AbbyA and her beautiful poetic words. For JMathis and her sharp writer’s sword. For the time you have let our pathways intertwine into one. Searching, learning, growing…together. An earthly trinity whose eyes strive to stay heaven-bound.

Thank you, Lord, for friendships. For future friends we’ve yet to meet. For the secrets we’ve yet to share. For the prayers that have yet to be prayed.

Yes, thank you, Lord, for friendships. For laughter. For tears. For joy. For sweet sorrow. For only you, Lord, could have created something so, so beautiful.

 

The Golden Rule

On By femmefuelIn August 2011 (Cultivating Friendships), FemmeBytes by Bindu Adai-MathewLeave a comment

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Most of us recall the Golden Rule, which is also scripture, from our youth. In one of my elementary classes, it was emblazoned across the top of the bulletin board and seemed to be the first rule of thumb that our teacher wanted us to know and practice. Rather than have a long laundry list of rules that itemized unacceptable behavior, such as do not push, do not hit, etc. It seemed that it was the one rule that covered the need for an endless list of rules.

It’s also a great guideline for friendship when you think about it. I think about those lost friendships, those toxic friendships, and those stagnant friendships that we have talked about over the past two weeks. I think about JMathis’ post yesterday. Conviction is the word. Have I always treated my friends as I hoped they would treat me? Have you?

More than likely, most of us have failed to follow it. But let it be your guide as you respond to the people who cross your path today. Let it be your guide as you continue to nurture and/or restore your friendships.  Let it be your guide as you make new friends.

You know you’re best friends when…

On By femmefuelIn August 2011 (Cultivating Friendships), FemmeBytes by Bindu Adai-Mathew2 Comments

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

You know you’re best friends when you ask your friend if your butt looks big in an outfit, and she responds by nodding her head with an emphatic yes and suggesting your butt applies for its own zip code…and all you do is bust out laughing in return.

You know you’re best friends when you can let your friend see you do the “ugly cry.”  You know, the one where your face gets all contorted like you’re seriously constipated and your nose turns redder than Rudolph the red-nose reindeer.

You know you’re best friends with someone when the first thing you wanted to do is call that person after you got engaged or found out that you’re pregnant.

You know you’re best friends with someone when you’ve allowed her to see you in spandex. Ever.

You know you’re best friends with someone when you let them see you without makeup on.

You know you’re best friends with someone when they remember the days you didn’t even need makeup.

You know you’re best friends with someone when you don’t lie to them about your weight or your real age.

You know you’re best friends with someone if that someone knew you in the days before your age was in the double digits.

You know you’re best friends with someone when you tell them you’re fine and they know better.

You know you’re best friends with someone when you love them enough to tell them the truth and not just what they want to hear…and they don’t hold it against you.

You know you’re best friends with someone if you trust them enough to take them swimsuit shopping with you.

You know you’re best friends when you can sit together in silence and still have had the best conversation.

You know you’re best friends with someone when all you have to do is give that person one look and they know exactly what you’re saying.

You know you’re best friends with someone when you can tell them the ugliest, dirtiest little secret and they never bring it up ever again to anyone, including you.

You know you’re best friends with someone when you want to go on a vacation with that person.

You know you’re best friends with someone when you’re willing to do something for that person without expecting anything else in return.

You know you’re best friends with someone when…now it’s your turn. How do YOU know someone in your life is your best friend?

So what are you doing just sitting there thinking about it? Go tell them/call them/email them/text them/Facebook them/tweet them…there are  endless ways to do it these days…but however you do it, let them know you’re so grateful they’re in your life and that your life is better because of having known them.

And then send them a link to this blog so they can get a smile out of it!

Old…But Always Gold

On By femmefuelIn August 2011 (Cultivating Friendships), FemmeBytes by Bindu Adai-Mathew2 Comments

                                           Go to fullsize image

                                          By Bindu Adai-Mathew

                                          Her hair was the color of the sun.
                                          My hair was the color of night.

                                         Her eyes were blue and bright.
                                         Mine were dark and brown.

                                         Her skin was milky white.
                                         My skin was chocolate milk.

                                         She was the tallest in our class.
                                          I was the shortest in our school.

                                         Her favorite color was green.
                                          I lied and said mine was, too.

                                         Her family was the All American.
                                          My family was the Immigrant Indian.

                                          We couldn’t have been more opposite physically.
                                          But inside, where it counted, we were soul sisters.

                                          With a shared loved of books, learning, and Jesus,
                                          You were my childhood.

                                          Wherever you are, Becky Michelle Dunn,
                                          You were…are…and will always be…
                                           My very first best friend.

Whole in His Holiness

On By femmefuelIn Best of Bindu Adai-Mathew, FemmeBytes by Bindu Adai-Mathew, Mind Body Spirit ConnectionLeave a comment

Go to fullsize imageBy Bindu Adai-Mathew

Daughter. Sister. Wife. Mother. Friend. Employee. Aren’t there times when you feel like there are so many pieces of yourself that you give away throughout the day that you feel as though you have nothing for yourself, much less God? Since becoming a wife and especially after becoming a mother, between work and my family, I often feel like I am being pulled, tugged, twisted, and yanked in so many directions…and while at times I have no idea which direction I’m headed, the only thing that seems clear is that I’m further and further from accomplishing my personal dreams and goals.

I recall the person I dreamed I would be by this age. Married. With Children. That part doesn’t seem surprising. But yet even after marriage, for several years, I didn’t recognize the person that stared back at me in the mirror. The medals and trophies that line up my parents’ living room, tokens of a bygone era of accomplishment, now lay tarnished amongst my current reality—the reality that the person who was once voted “Most Likely to Succeed” by her graduating class now seems anything but successful and accomplished. Often I felt I was no better than one of the statuettes I had won in my earlier days. Like them, I was tarnished. Stashed away in the corner. Forgotten. Stuck in the past. Old. Hollow.

Somewhere, somehow, I had gone missing…in my own life.

But as JMathis reminded us yesterday…we are “missing no longer.” Despite our pasts, our wrong mistakes, how we’ve been wronged, God knows us. He knows every hair on our head. He knows our pasts, and He knows our future.

Once I realized that no matter where I was…in a good place…in a bad place…all that mattered is that I get my focus back on God. It is while basking in His light that chases the shadows of lies away, that illuminates the truth that was there all along. When I focused on that rather than my own life and my own mistakes, doors that remained shut slowly began swinging open. Regret began melting in my heart, and I could once again start living my life, believing that I was right where I needed to be. I was right where God wanted me to be. Soon my “wrong” turns weren’t so wrong.

Even recently an open door now seems to be shutting. And while I waded in self-pity for a few days, I soon straightened my shoulders and began looking around for my next open door. For I know the truth.   God promises us blessings and a future.  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11.

Daughter. Sister. Wife. Mother. Friend. Employee. Child of God. All these are fragments of me, but it is the latter than makes me truly whole. It’s the latter that allows God to fill in those gaping Holes, piecing everything together, making me Whole in His Holiness.

With All My Strength

On By femmefuelIn FemmeBytes by Bindu Adai-Mathew, Mind Body Spirit ConnectionLeave a comment

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Mark 12:30

Last week in my blog, I quoted a similar scripture that was found in Matthew. But I found this verse in Mark a little more interesting because of the last four words in it…with all of your strength.

We are not only to love God with all three parts of our selves…but we are supposed to love him with everything we got. And I’m not talking theoretical love. In theory, who wouldn’t say they love God 100%? I’m talking practical, real day-to-day love. I’m talking spending time with God when you’re “too busy.” When you’d rather watch TV than read your Bible. Or would rather sleep in on Sunday then go to church and worship Him.

I think of last week. Last week started off good…great, in fact. I am five months into a new job that I felt was nothing less than an answer to prayer. Close to home, great pay, great co-workers, flexible boss. Wednesday morning, I even emailed a good friend who moved away just as I started my new job. I wanted to see how she was doing, but I also wanted to share how good God had been to me with this job.  But not less than six hours later, everything changed.

At 5 pm, I received an email from the company’s CEO announcing that our company is being bought out by our competitor, and their headquarters are located in Atlanta.  As I tried to hold on to my optimism that somehow my position would remain intact, our boss called a meeting to confirm that yes, the company would be undergoing a merger within two months, and while no discussions had been formally made regarding our jobs, he gravely advised us to start looking for new jobs.  Don’t wait for the new company to lay us all off, he said, glancing around the room and then sternly added, start working on your resumes.

To me, loving God=trusting God, and that isn’t always easy 100% of the time. It really does sometimes require all of our strength, doesn’t it?

Love the Lord with all my strength. But why, Lord, why? Wasn’t this the job you wanted me at? If it wasn’t, why did it fall together so well? Why did it feel so riiight?

Love the Lord with all my strength. Why me, Lord, why me? Why do these things happen to me? Why would you give me this job, only to yank it away from me like this?

Love the Lord with all my strength. But what’s going to happen, Lord? You know I need this job. You know we need my insurance. I have a family to take care of, Lord.

Yes, that is what I spent doing the last four days. Loving the Lord with all my strength. Trusting that He knew what was best, even if it didn’t make sense to me. Trusting that there was something even better. I had to go back to the basics and cling to what I knew to be true.

Matthew 6:31-32
Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

Matthew 7:11
If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!

Luke 12:7
Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.

2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything; you may have an abundance for every good deed.

Philippians 4:19
And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 6:34
So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

This month we’ve delved, dissected, and discussed the body, mind, and soul connection to God and how it affects our relationship with Him. No matter how strong your faith is, difficult times will come, and they will test what you know. When those times come, go back to the scriptures. Feed on them and let them remind you of the goodness of God. Let them remind you of His promise to take care of you. Connect back to Him with everything you got: body, mind, and soul.