Time. There have been times in my life when I planned ahead. I planned for who I would be and in what time of my life I would be “her.” I planned for things like becoming a Supreme Court Justice and for being a stay at home mom. I planned for a wedding before I had a date. I planned for walking the red carpet in a very, large fancy dress to a charity gala in which I had raised a lot of funds. I remember planning to be famous when I was four – – I insisted on wearing a night gown to school fancying myself to be different, and therefore, famous. I planned on famous again when I was twelve making my brother take a video of me ballet dancing – – of course, the video would capture the priceless dancing of the young woman before her upcoming fame. I always had something quite big in store for myself. But in the deepest part of my heart, I often felt very small.
Time. It is the planning ahead that minimizes the ups and maximizes the downs of this life. I will have you know that I am neither a Supreme Court Justice nor a stay at home mom. It is the planning ahead that later causes us to “discover” we have fallen short, taken a wrong turn or missed the mark altogether. I have never worn a large, fancy dress anywhere (except to prom). The calculation of time judges our understanding of our successes and failures. And, finally, I am not famous. The circling of numbers measures you. It measures you. How are you holding up under the weight of time?
Time. The digital glow that gets you up. The tick tock that pushes you out. Alarm dings for when to leave, who to call, where to meet. Married by thirty? Boy and girl? Keep trying. Either way, get it done by thirty-five. Did you have them potty trained by two? Were they reading by five? Mortgage to pay by the tenth. Kids to pick up by three. Mouths to feed by six. Work begins, work ends. Client I missed? Who can I text while I am waiting in line? Grocery list? Who will I call to set plans straight? Efficient or not. Behind or ahead. You’re middle-aged by forty.
Time. Feeling quite small under its suppression? Mind you, it’s temporary. There is a time not too far ahead of this temporal place. Eternity. Where there is no time. Where a day is a thousand years and a thousand years is a day. Where we arrive as the completed “her” without any planning ahead. Where we wear large, fancy dresses and are quite famous in His eyes. Where the depth of the mind and the sweetness of the soul replace the ticking of the clock. Where we will be thriving in the light rather than striving in the shadow of time.
Time. If you can catch the “what you planned” without fine sieving it through the net of time, you will find a few jewels. You will find that you may have attended a gala event in lovely navy pants for a cause in which you raised some money. You will find that God did not plan for you to be a Supreme Court Justice, but a lawyer and a very good mom. You will find that feeling quite small is a reminder of the very big unfailing love that the Father has for you.
Time. You will find that planning ahead is a journey in which time is not a marker or a judge. You will find that planning ahead is about subject matter and substance. It is about building a life and not a list. It is about establishing principles and surrendering failures. It is about coming home after being far away. It is about a map that takes on many forms, but always brings you home.
Time. This time I have with you. I want to draw with you a map where the points of interest are subject matter and substance. It is for the woman wearing many hats who desires a map that brings her home. You will find this map to cover both the what we do and who we are. It will change the way you plan ahead. It will appeal to our familiarity with the temporal but set our minds on the true, eternal Time Keeper. Love to you until next time.