Tag: struggles

Peace: Walking Through November

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha KatzLeave a comment

As I continue to read through Mark, I see the simplicity of how Jesus spoke of common, everyday life to shed light on deep truths.  For the moment, I’m stuck on the meaning of bread.  Bread has a very comforting way of fulfilling hunger and the hungry soul.  Jesus had compassion for the multitudes he spoke to.  After meeting their spiritual needs, He fed them bread.

Jesus fed 5000 and then awhile later, another 4000, with the loaves of bread on hand.  I imagine it was a sight to see — God’s plenty rising up in the baskets whenever the bread supply became low. I think about those holding the baskets and serving the bread.  I imagine they felt peace as the problem of hungry was solved.  They probably experienced gratitude for the shift from less to more than enough.  I am certain that I would have flooded with overwhelming joy to be able to give to others.  Peace.  Gratitude.  Joy.  It’s not at all a surprise that we experience peace and joy from carrying the baskets He asks us to.  Whether we have big or little faith, it is all wrapped up in our willingness to carry the basket.

Later, as Jesus and the disciples headed into the boat, Jesus gives them a truth about bread.  He says, Beware of the leaven of bread and the leaven of Herod.  Despite the miracle of feeding many with little, the disciples figure Jesus is making reference to the fact that they forgot to buy bread for their journey in the boat.  As an old friend of mine would say, Really?  Could the disciples really have thought Jesus was concerned about their lack of food or that they forgot to buy it?  Was it really that big of stretch for them to catch the spiritual meaning?

I’m stuck on bread because I think Jesus is saying something very powerful here.  Why do you reason because you have no bread?  Do you not yet perceive or understand?  Having eyes, do you not see?  And having ears, do you not hear?  And do you not remember?  Matthew 16.

I think about challenges in my life.  Struggles.  Times when I don’t understand.  Seasons of less.  Lack.  Pain.  Hurt.  Trembling.  The truth is I’m still here (with enough bread).  He’s always delivered the hurt to healing.  Trembling to peace.  Less to more.  But yet, every time I experience less and not more.  Pain and not ease.  Whenever I go from big picture living to lack of understanding, I crumble on the inside.  I figure there’s no more bread.

So, like the disciples, I sit in the boat with God.  Whose resources are beyond my comprehension.  And, I worry about no bread.  I ponder all of the mistakes I’ve made to contribute or cause the lack of bread.  I get numb to the miracles I’ve seen.  I get dumb to the metaphor of bread.

But, Jesus has compassion for me.  He knows all too well my physical and spiritual needs.  He knows that when He quiets my soul that I can understand.  Jesus wasn’t bothered by the disciples mistakes or what they felt they lacked.  He’s not necessarily trying to teach me about the leavening in bread.  He’s working towards a deeper meaning.  He’s pulling me away from things like the doctrine of hypocrites and false religion.   He’s pulling me towards truths to fill my hungry soul.

Finding Refuge During the Storm

On By femmefuelIn FemmeFeatures by Bindu Adai-Mathew, March 2012Leave a comment

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

To me, there is almost nothing more satisfying than lounging on my living room couch with a blanket, hot cocoa, and a good book in the midst of a storm and torrential downpour outside. As I watch the rain thrash against my window pane and I listen to thunder boom outside, I sink deeper into my couch and sigh with blissful satisfaction and peace. I love the feeling of warm and comfort my blanket and hot cocoa give me. I love the support and security that my fluffy couch provides. And I love the safety and security I feel, knowing that I am in my home, protected from the raging storm outside.

That, my friend, is what it is like when we find our refuge in God. Like our home, he protects us in the midst of the storm. Like our blanket, He covers us, providing us with sustenance, with comfort, with peace. We can rest assured, knowing that despite whatever is going on outside, He is with us inside, protecting us, comforting us.

Before he became king, David had to find his refuge in God. He literally had to live and hide in caves as King Saul pursued him. Imagine his predicament from his viewpoint. As a teenager, Samuel showed up in him home, anointing him the next king of Israel…and years later, in his early 20s, where is he? Is he sitting on the throne, being fanned by palm leaves and fed grapes while also ruling a nation? No, he is running from cave to cave, living like an outlaw as he awaits God’s appointed time.  Imagine the despair, the frustration, the disappointment he had to battle through as he struggled during that time. You actually don’t have to imagine it…you can read about it in many of the psalms he wrote. You can hear the despair in his voice as he pleads with God to protect him from his enemies. He faced setback after setback, but the scriptures tell us, David encouraged himself in the Lord (1 Samuel 30: 6).

Sometimes the struggles we face are torrential downpours and we can find comfort and safety in our home, watching and knowing we are safe…but sometimes, those torrential downpours are like hurricane winds, threatening to blow our house down…or like a tornado that leaves nothing in its path unscathed. But again, that is when we have to dig in deep and find our comfort, peace, and security in our faith and God.

There is a childhood song I remember singing in Sunday School:

The Wise Man Built His House

The wise man built his house upon the rock
The wise man built his house upon the rock
The wise man built his house upon the rock
And the rain came tumbling down

Oh, the rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
And the wise man’s house stood firm.

The foolish man built his house upon the sand
The foolish man built his house upon the sand
The foolish man built his house upon the sand
And the rain came tumbling down

Oh, the rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
And the foolish man’s house went “splat!” [clap hands once]

So, build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ
Build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ
Build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ
And the blessings will come down

Oh, the blessings come down
As your prayers go up
The blessings come down
As your prayers go up
The blessings come down
As your prayer go up
So build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ.

So what is your “house” built on? If it’s built on God, even hurricane winds and tornadoes cannot touch the security and protection that only God can provide. He will envelop you under his wing and protect you through the storm…until that appointed time, when you will soar like an eagle.

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

Remembering God

On By femmefuelIn FemmeFeatures by Bindu Adai-Mathew, January 20121 Comment

by Bindu Adai-Mathew

Two weeks ago the very thing I had been dreading since last June finally happened. I saw my Instant Messenger icon flashing on my computer screen and saw it was our CIO messaging me, asking me to stop by his office. As I trudged to his office, I almost felt as if I were back in elementary school being called into the principal’s office. I listened as he went on about how after our company was bought by the new company, he was being pressured to create “synergies” in IT, which would require him eliminating close to 60 jobs, including mine.  As he droned on with his corporate-speak, I sat there numbly.

Here we go again. I had just gone through another layoff just a year ago. Ironically, when I arrived at my new company, I was almost relieved to find that all my co-workers had been working there the last 9 to 12 years. Finally, I had thought back then, a place where I could hang my hat up and stay at one place. And then six months into my new job, the announcement came that another company was buying ours, which would probably result in a massive layoff.

As shock gave way to worry, panic soon began to set it. I would not only have to find a new job, but I had to worry about insurance since I was the policy holder. What if I didn’t find a job quickly? What if no one wanted me? What if…

Those runaway thoughts morphed into a cloud of despair that hovered over my head for hours, and I found myself feeling overwhelmed, defeated, hopeless.

But finally, a ray of light…a thought…finally penetrated through the darkness. Hadn’t God provided before? Hadn’t this job alone and the experience I gained here already set me on a more secure career path? Why was I freaking out?

Again, my spirit prompted me to think of the children of Israel as they wandered through the desert. Despite everything God had done for them, every time they faced an obstacle, they panicked. God had parted the Red Sea, he had provided them with manna during the mornings, and fire to warm and guide them at night. Yet, they still doubted.

Our lives, too, can often feel like we, too, are wandering in our own desert. Lost, aimless, confused about where we are headed. But no matter how many obstacles we face or how often we face the same ones, we must remember to dig in our heels deep in our faith and wait expectantly and excitedly on our Lord. Because He WILL provide. In a few weeks, and maybe even by the next post, I cannot wait to give my praise report.

But as we wait, we must be diligent to do our part. We must find refuge in His Word, devouring it like our daily bread, so it can provide us with sustenance throughout the day. Sustenance when we get tired, discouraged, and hopeless.

Here is a passage of scripture that I’ve been meditating on for the past weekthat’s reminded me that He will always take care of His people and our part is to seek Him, trust Him, and find our refuge in Him:

Psalms 34

1 I will extol the LORD at all times;    his praise will always be on my lips. 2 I will glory in the LORD;    let the afflicted hear and rejoice. 3Glorify the LORD with me;    let us exalt his name together.

4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;    he delivered me from all my fears. 5 Those who look to him are radiant;    their faces are never covered with shame. 6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;    he saved him out of all his troubles. 7The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,    and he delivers them.

8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;    blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. 9 Fear the LORD, you his holy people,    for those who fear him lack nothing. 10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,    but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. 11 Come, my children, listen to me;    I will teach you the fear of the LORD. 12 Whoever of you loves life    and desires to see many good days, 13 keep your tongue from evil    and your lips from telling lies. 14Turn from evil and do good;    seek peace and pursue it.

15 The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous,    and his ears are attentive to their cry; 16but the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,    to blot out their name from the earth.

17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;    he delivers them from all their troubles. 18The LORD is close to the brokenhearted    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

19 The righteous person may have many troubles,    but the LORD delivers him from them all; 20he protects all his bones,    not one of them will be broken.

21 Evil will slay the wicked;    the foes of the righteous will be condemned. 22 The LORD will rescue his servants;    no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.