by Bindu Adai-Mathew

Two weeks ago the very thing I had been dreading since last June finally happened. I saw my Instant Messenger icon flashing on my computer screen and saw it was our CIO messaging me, asking me to stop by his office. As I trudged to his office, I almost felt as if I were back in elementary school being called into the principal’s office. I listened as he went on about how after our company was bought by the new company, he was being pressured to create “synergies” in IT, which would require him eliminating close to 60 jobs, including mine.  As he droned on with his corporate-speak, I sat there numbly.

Here we go again. I had just gone through another layoff just a year ago. Ironically, when I arrived at my new company, I was almost relieved to find that all my co-workers had been working there the last 9 to 12 years. Finally, I had thought back then, a place where I could hang my hat up and stay at one place. And then six months into my new job, the announcement came that another company was buying ours, which would probably result in a massive layoff.

As shock gave way to worry, panic soon began to set it. I would not only have to find a new job, but I had to worry about insurance since I was the policy holder. What if I didn’t find a job quickly? What if no one wanted me? What if…

Those runaway thoughts morphed into a cloud of despair that hovered over my head for hours, and I found myself feeling overwhelmed, defeated, hopeless.

But finally, a ray of light…a thought…finally penetrated through the darkness. Hadn’t God provided before? Hadn’t this job alone and the experience I gained here already set me on a more secure career path? Why was I freaking out?

Again, my spirit prompted me to think of the children of Israel as they wandered through the desert. Despite everything God had done for them, every time they faced an obstacle, they panicked. God had parted the Red Sea, he had provided them with manna during the mornings, and fire to warm and guide them at night. Yet, they still doubted.

Our lives, too, can often feel like we, too, are wandering in our own desert. Lost, aimless, confused about where we are headed. But no matter how many obstacles we face or how often we face the same ones, we must remember to dig in our heels deep in our faith and wait expectantly and excitedly on our Lord. Because He WILL provide. In a few weeks, and maybe even by the next post, I cannot wait to give my praise report.

But as we wait, we must be diligent to do our part. We must find refuge in His Word, devouring it like our daily bread, so it can provide us with sustenance throughout the day. Sustenance when we get tired, discouraged, and hopeless.

Here is a passage of scripture that I’ve been meditating on for the past weekthat’s reminded me that He will always take care of His people and our part is to seek Him, trust Him, and find our refuge in Him:

Psalms 34

¹ I will extol the LORD at all times;    his praise will always be on my lips. ² I will glory in the LORD;    let the afflicted hear and rejoice. ³Glorify the LORD with me;    let us exalt his name together.

⁴ I sought the LORD, and he answered me;    he delivered me from all my fears. ⁵ Those who look to him are radiant;    their faces are never covered with shame. ⁶ This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;    he saved him out of all his troubles. ⁷The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,    and he delivers them.

⁸ Taste and see that the LORD is good;    blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. ⁹ Fear the LORD, you his holy people,    for those who fear him lack nothing. ¹⁰ The lions may grow weak and hungry,    but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. ¹¹ Come, my children, listen to me;    I will teach you the fear of the LORD. ¹² Whoever of you loves life    and desires to see many good days, ¹³ keep your tongue from evil    and your lips from telling lies. ¹⁴Turn from evil and do good;    seek peace and pursue it.

¹⁵ The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous,    and his ears are attentive to their cry; ¹⁶but the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,    to blot out their name from the earth.

¹⁷ The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;    he delivers them from all their troubles. ¹⁸The LORD is close to the brokenhearted    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

¹⁹ The righteous person may have many troubles,    but the LORD delivers him from them all; ²⁰he protects all his bones,    not one of them will be broken.

²¹ Evil will slay the wicked;    the foes of the righteous will be condemned. ²² The LORD will rescue his servants;    no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.