Remembering God

by Bindu Adai-Mathew

Two weeks ago the very thing I had been dreading since last June finally happened. I saw my Instant Messenger icon flashing on my computer screen and saw it was our CIO messaging me, asking me to stop by his office. As I trudged to his office, I almost felt as if I were back in elementary school being called into the principal’s office. I listened as he went on about how after our company was bought by the new company, he was being pressured to create “synergies” in IT, which would require him eliminating close to 60 jobs, including mine.  As he droned on with his corporate-speak, I sat there numbly.

Here we go again. I had just gone through another layoff just a year ago. Ironically, when I arrived at my new company, I was almost relieved to find that all my co-workers had been working there the last 9 to 12 years. Finally, I had thought back then, a place where I could hang my hat up and stay at one place. And then six months into my new job, the announcement came that another company was buying ours, which would probably result in a massive layoff.

As shock gave way to worry, panic soon began to set it. I would not only have to find a new job, but I had to worry about insurance since I was the policy holder. What if I didn’t find a job quickly? What if no one wanted me? What if…

Those runaway thoughts morphed into a cloud of despair that hovered over my head for hours, and I found myself feeling overwhelmed, defeated, hopeless.

But finally, a ray of light…a thought…finally penetrated through the darkness. Hadn’t God provided before? Hadn’t this job alone and the experience I gained here already set me on a more secure career path? Why was I freaking out?

Again, my spirit prompted me to think of the children of Israel as they wandered through the desert. Despite everything God had done for them, every time they faced an obstacle, they panicked. God had parted the Red Sea, he had provided them with manna during the mornings, and fire to warm and guide them at night. Yet, they still doubted.

Our lives, too, can often feel like we, too, are wandering in our own desert. Lost, aimless, confused about where we are headed. But no matter how many obstacles we face or how often we face the same ones, we must remember to dig in our heels deep in our faith and wait expectantly and excitedly on our Lord. Because He WILL provide. In a few weeks, and maybe even by the next post, I cannot wait to give my praise report.

But as we wait, we must be diligent to do our part. We must find refuge in His Word, devouring it like our daily bread, so it can provide us with sustenance throughout the day. Sustenance when we get tired, discouraged, and hopeless.

Here is a passage of scripture that I’ve been meditating on for the past weekthat’s reminded me that He will always take care of His people and our part is to seek Him, trust Him, and find our refuge in Him:

Psalms 34

1 I will extol the LORD at all times;    his praise will always be on my lips. 2 I will glory in the LORD;    let the afflicted hear and rejoice. 3Glorify the LORD with me;    let us exalt his name together.

4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;    he delivered me from all my fears. 5 Those who look to him are radiant;    their faces are never covered with shame. 6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;    he saved him out of all his troubles. 7The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,    and he delivers them.

8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;    blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. 9 Fear the LORD, you his holy people,    for those who fear him lack nothing. 10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,    but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. 11 Come, my children, listen to me;    I will teach you the fear of the LORD. 12 Whoever of you loves life    and desires to see many good days, 13 keep your tongue from evil    and your lips from telling lies. 14Turn from evil and do good;    seek peace and pursue it.

15 The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous,    and his ears are attentive to their cry; 16but the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,    to blot out their name from the earth.

17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;    he delivers them from all their troubles. 18The LORD is close to the brokenhearted    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

19 The righteous person may have many troubles,    but the LORD delivers him from them all; 20he protects all his bones,    not one of them will be broken.

21 Evil will slay the wicked;    the foes of the righteous will be condemned. 22 The LORD will rescue his servants;    no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.

The Psalm of You in Me


By JMathis

What does You in me look like? Feel like? How does You in me change my chemistry, my fabric, my DNA?

Enough of just saying that You are in me. Enough of just holding you at arm’s length.

Me minus You is Lost. Fearful. Discouraged. You in me has Purpose. Vision. Fruit.

I have tried more of me. It is vanity. It is lonely. It is hard. The desolate paths remain barren and void.

Break me, Father, until I am no more. Take this stone-cold rock and soften it until it is moldable by You. Empty all that is me, until I bubble over with only You.

Show me what You in me can accomplish. Show me why You in me matters. Show me that You in me is all that I need.

Savior of the world, why me? Why us? I am unworthy of Love that is You, yet You shower me with it daily. The Mercy that is You overtakes me, even when I am obstinately full of me.

I am ready for rain. I am ready to taste Heaven. I am ready for You in me.

I surrender the darkness and the dry places. I surrender this yoke. I surrender my pride. I surrender it all, so that all is left is You in me.

You in me is my cry. You in me is my prayer. You in me is my desire.

You in me. Today.

You in me. Now.

You in me. Here


Part 1: Colorful Confindence

By AbbyA

You have been through a lot.  So much that you can hardly recall.  Your physical body is like a map or legend for a map.  You have been both walking and leading the way.  Your journey is embedded in the tiny lines that form around your well-worn smile.  It is the kind of smile that draws sweetness from the inside and makes sturdy promises in soft curves to the onlooker.

The depth of your life is stored in the reflection radiating out of your eyes.  You have the kind of deep eyes that the onlooker can see through.  Into knowledge resulting from well weathered storms.  Into an abiding pure white that comes from poured out trust over bumpy travels.  Into fertile ground where both new seeds grow and taller trees reach for the heavens.

Your life is volumes.  The chapters flow down in layered ruffles.  Starting at your neck line.  Moving down around your shoulders, to your waist line, to the floor.  Dancing around in layers where the color comes from the tint of your journey.  Some layers are dyed in pink.  This tells of crowns and dreams of crowns like marriage and motherhood.  Like beaded necklaces put together by little children and then put on.  These are childhood dreams that you believed would one day be your milestones.

Some of your ruffles are stained in red or magenta.  This tells of your passions.  The culmination of your time spent pursuing.  Hunting down the substance of your life.  This is your blood and your sweat.  You will produce many colors, but the dye of your passionate efforts become you.

Some of your layers are patterned.  You don’t make patterns alone.  You labored with someone.  You set out with someone.  You made something together.  This part of you is speaking joy.  A configuration on your body that you can’t repeat or make by yourself.  Speaking joy.

Some white and pressed.  White and pressed never start that way.  These are your muddled messes that turned out brighter and better than you could have ever imagined.  This is the kind of white and pressed that doesn’t become wrinkled or stained.  You bled through red and magenta to get white.  Bright white remains.

Some layers are worn out because it was your favorite.  These few are faded, but it’s not out of lack of love.  It is out of so much love that it becomes worn.  It somehow becomes the color of you.  It is neither what it was before nor fully what you were then.  It has faded into now.

There are a few ruffles that you have cut off because they no longer wear well with the hue of your skin.  These are crossroads.  Old Ambitions.  Wrong paths. You moved on, cut off, set apart.  You walked on.  You have some apparent clippings on your form, but it has added to you the sense that you know when your colors don’t become you.

These are your volumes, your chapters, your pages.  Layers flowing down and around made of who you are and where you have walked.  Your physical body, your eyes, your smile.  Your flowing colors.  Your external body represents your internal beauty.  Your beauty is the culmination of your journey as of yet.

You have passed through so much that it is hard to recall.  Sometimes it may feel like a whirlwind.  Sometimes it is hard to recall that you that have made it here.  But you have.  You have weathered storms.  You have invited abiding pure white.  What once was untamed, bare land is now your fertile ground.  Crafted from passions and patterns.  Pruning and clippings.  This type of beauty does not come easy.  Now that she is here.  Explode into her.  She has become you.

Being Strong in Your Broken Places

By JMathis

The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places…” Ernest Hemingway

The broken places are scattered across your dreams.

Your dreams of becoming an artist.

You’re not good enough.

Your dreams of a happy marriage.

You’re not good enough.

Your dreams of being fit, fierce and fabulous.

You’re not good enough.

The artist has surrendered to a mortgage. The happy marriage sacrificed for a 62″ television set. The sexiness buried under yet another night of pizza and ice cream.    

Reality replaces fantasy, and life swaps your upbeat soundtrack for an insidious, new mantra:

You’re not good enough.

The broken places become permanent refuge for insecurity, insanity, infertility, indifference, insincerity, inactivity, ineffectiveness, indecision, invisibility, ingratitude and infirmity.

Each taking root within you, inside of you. Each chanting:

You’re not good enough.

Before it is too late, before time forgets you, before your purpose is forever lost, perhaps it is time for an intervention.

Perhaps it is time to finally be YOU.

You, as God intended; you, as God envisioned; you, as God desires.

Rise up and innovate.

Stand up and inspire.

It is time to become strong in all of your broken places, for there is work to be done.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6