Tag: husband

JOURNEY THROUGH OCTOBER: CONQUERING FEAR

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha KatzLeave a comment

~week three~day 1~

I’ll tell you what is brave.  Deciding to join 31 Days of writing in October.  Ha!  Like I often do, I feel strongly and ride off into the sunset with all the things that matter to me.  Except that sometimes riding off into the sunset actually means hanging from my horse upside-down by one stirrup with my hair dragging in the dust.  Which does NOT qualify as brave.  Or anything else but painful for that matter.

Sometimes my endeavors come crashing down on me.  Working full time, being a mom full time, shooting for spending more good times with my husband, committed to being a good friend, being someone who cares about my community and global issues.  Plus all the things that I think about and plan to do, but haven’t yet.  Crash.

Toward the end of last week, too much stuff was on the forefront of my brain and heart.  I was like that video of the girl with the nail in her forehead but doesn’t know it and just continues describing the pressure that’s mounting.  It’s really only a good case of anxiety that can grab my attention to slow down long enough to hear reason.  Believe me, the reason does not come from my own soul.  It took me 24 hours of anxiety to hear God say – – Ask for help.  You’re burnt out.  Wrung out.  Spun out.

I will humor you as to how badly I needed help but didn’t know it.  The song Shoulders was turning like a broken record in my mind.  But I couldn’t remember the line that says My _____ is From You.  I laid in bed putting all kinds of words in the blank.  I tried Health, Wealth and whatever else.  Of course, none of that makes sense.  Finally, literally, after my anxiety filled pondering went on from 5am to 8am on Saturday morning . . . the word is Help.  My Help is From You.  Duh.  I need help to do all that You have given me.  I need His help and I need to ask for it.  Peace.

Planning 2015: A Beautiful Life

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz4 Comments

The resolution hoopla is about to begin.  My first resolution email came today (but I actually loved it, feel free to check it out Real Change Starts with You by Dr. Nicholas Jenner).  The chatter comes from every direction.  Weight.  Toxic Relationships.  Bad Habits of all sorts.  I think it’s the balanced life that most of us seek.  The truth is that some of us make resolutions and don’t keep them.  Some of us refuse to make them because we know we never keep them.  My mom tends to think they’re stupid because you should be seeking positive change year round.  A lot of resolutions will be made and some will be kept.  Just like in the years past.

I’ve taken my mom’s lead on resolutions. I don’t normally have them just once a year.  Sometimes I have the smaller ones daily or weekly, but I try to reassess everything every three to six months.  I looked back on my general list from last year.  I planned to be flexible, intentional and supportive.  It’s hard to let yourself be the judge of that, but I think I sought after those characteristics and reached success in some areas of my life.  I had a few financial goals.  I don’t feel comfortable saying that I passed, but I don’t think I completely failed either. I had a charitable goal in regard to giving and becoming a voice for a handful of organizations.  As the year comes to a close, I think I did that.  Not perfectly, room for improvement and change this year, but I can half smile about that part of my list.

Ministry and parenting were on my list this year.  I committed to my ministry plans and I think I accomplished them.  Although in the larger scheme of things, I am not a parenting fail (as my son would say), but I am seeking the most improvement in this area.  Really praying for the Lord to keep my kids small voices in balance with my work life’s loud voice.  (I have a lot more to say on this later.)  And, the truth is, wife to my husband was not even on my list!  (Shame on me, I think?)

Today, I have had the pleasure of being home alone for the last several hours with my thoughts and plans for 2015.  Somewhere between The Eisenhower Matrix, a weekly graph from The 7 Habits of a Highly Effective Person and my desire to serve God with the time He has given me, I am half way to being where I want to be in 2015.  Meaning the first few months of the year.

One of the neat practices I recently adopted when planning my time is to keep my roles in tact.  The order of them changes with the different callings of each week.  But I keep them at the forefront of my planning.  Business partner, Writer/Reader, Wife, Mother, Churchgoer.  It’s fairly easy to see if I am neglecting the Lord’s calling on my life if one of these areas is hogging all of the time.  Given the thoughtful woman that I know you are, I am sharing with you what I have come up with in one area of my life – WIFE.  In the days to come, before we hit January 1, I plan to share with you all of my revelations and resolutions.  I hope that you do the same as we walk together this beautiful life that God has given us.

Wife

I have been trying to figure out how to date my husband since September.  It sounds simple, but for me, it hasn’t been.  Do we take the morning off of work to spend some time together?  Do we plan on the weekend and pay a babysitter?  Do I offer another couple to watch their kids once a month if they watch mine?  Do we pack them up for the weekend at the grandparents?  I was obviously frozen by the options for the last three months.  And, then, what do we do?  I was lucky enough to chat with another backstage mom at my daughter’s Nutcracker show to get some great ideas.  I concluded that we haven’t been having nearly as much fun as we could be.  So . . . in January, we are going on a touristy river boat ride we have been talking about since we got married. (This is the Jungle Queen that honked its horn as it passed my wedding ceremony on the river shore.)  In February, we are going to the SoBe Food and Wine Festival (that we also have been talking about for years).  Both were holiday gifts to him, my beloved.  And in March, I think we’ll take a cooking lesson at Sur La Table.  There you have it . . . working on being a more fun wife.

Men and Boys – We Only Ask That You Act Your Age!

On By femmefuelIn FemmeBytes by Sasha Katz, June 2011 (Men and Boys)Leave a comment

By AbbyA

After JMathis’ intro to this month’s all encompassing mystery of guys , my mouth is so full, I can barely get anything out!  So, let’s see . . . there is the boy of my life, QK, who melts my heart, amazes me with his seven year old spiritual understanding and stands by me like the little knight in shining armour that he is.  There are my two brothers.  My mom’s new husband.  My husband.  My dad already in heaven.  My pastor.  All the guys at the office (who say the darndest things – – like it’s so cold, my nipples are freezing).  My step grandpa who has been there for thirty years.  My “real” grandpa who walked back into our lives after thirty years.  My ex-step dad who keeps trying to walk back in.

At this stage in the game, Tanya is probably married to her father figure and Stacy is probably already divorced from the bad guy.  And with a straight face, I am going to blame it all on Eve.  JMathis hit it on the mark when she said: Whether you realize it or not, any boy in your life has to contend with the consequences of how well you have reconciled yourself to both your earthly father, as well as your Heavenly Father.

Having been through a lot in the way of father figures over the years, I have learned in my own heart the miraculous healing power of seeing pain and loss in the light of my Heavenly Father.   The day He showed me I was valuable even though giving my best didn’t satisfy my father-in-law.  The day He showed me how important my dad’s imperfections were to my understanding of His grace.  The day He showed me, as a mother to my son, I can overcome just about anything with His instruction and true, pure love.

Yes, we will have fun this month grappling with the men in our lives.  Some of them act like men, others like boys.  Some are little sons acting just their age.  Some are already gone but have left power thumbprints on our lives.  But most of all, at the center of it all, we have our heavenly Father leading the way, showing the light, and somehow, growing us all up to be like Christ.