Tag: Fear

Advent Message

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There is no limit to the Wholeness He will bring.  As we ride sometimes on a roller coaster and sometimes in slow motion, we catch of glimpse of our own faith.  Maybe from a mirror reflection.  Perhaps from a relationship.  Sometimes in tangible moments with God.

I have seen glimpses of myself recently.  I had the very honest moment of speaking out loud the fear I have been holding onto for as long as I can remember.  I have been brave on many occasions.  I even have a large well of peace and calm that the people I am close to see in me.  But, at the floor of it all, I have stored fear.

Ruth is my personal hero.  I always think of her on the threshing floor speaking truth in the dark night to Boaz.  I like to think I would do the same under the same set of circumstances.  And, I probably would.  But, there on the floor, I would still be holding onto my fear.

Something happened the last few days.  Because God is good, He had no plan for me to store up my fear until kingdom come.  I unexpectedly spoke my fear out loud to someone I trust.  She prayed and prayed and I listened and listened.

If you are whole, there is no fear.  I used to be afraid about things that are too personal to share here.  I have gifts in me to give and it’s okay that some may not want them.  I have faith in the future of my kids despite my imperfect life.  I used to be afraid but that is gone now.  I am not in chains anymore.  Ultimately, I am free to love God as my Savior.

I have always believed in the miracles of the holiday season.  I am embracing Advent in a way I have not before.  I came across Isaiah 9:2-7 in the Message.  He is the Prince of Wholeness and there will be no limits to the wholeness He brings.  If you are speeding or in slow motion this season, catch of glimpse of your faith.  There is no better time of year to let go of the bottom of you and let Whole seep in to every part of yourself.  There is no limit to the Wholeness He has for you.  Go ahead and believe in December miracles.

The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light.

For those who lived in a land of deep shadows — light! sunbursts of light!

You repopulated the nation, you expanded its joy.

Oh, they’re so glad in your presence!

Festival joy!

The joy of a great celebration, sharing rich gifts and warm greetings.

The abuse of oppressors and cruelty of tyrants —

all their whips and cudgels and curses —

Is gone, done away with, a deliverance as surprising

and sudden as Gideon’s old victory over Midian.

The boots of all those invading troops, along with their shirts soaked with innocent blood,

Will be piled in a heap and burned, a fire that will burn for days!

For a child has been born — for us!

the gift of a son — for us!

He’ll take over the running of the world.

His names will be:

Amazing Counselor,

Strong God,

Eternal Father,

Prince of Wholeness.

His ruling authority will grow,

and there’ll be no limits to the wholeness he brings.

He’ll rule from the historic David throne over that promised kingdom.

He’ll put that kingdom on a firm footing and keep it going

With fair dealing and right living, beginning now and lasting always.

The zeal of God-of-the-Angel-Armies will do all this.

Isaiah 9:2-7

JOURNEY THROUGH OCTOBER: CONQUERING FEAR

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~week two~day 1~

Love ˃ Fear

I look forward to the evening time, when rest is close at hand.   It’s not the rituals that we all have leading to bed.  It’s the actual pulling back of the sheet and blankets, crawling in, tugging up the covers.  Feeling the pillows curve around my neck and head.

I’m clean, I’m wearing the kind of pajamas I love to wear.  Clear drinking water is next to me.  The house is quiet and cool.  This is real rest.  And, if I’ve gone to bed early enough, it’s going to last for seven heavenly hours.

This is just about the point in time that I remember my sisters and daughters all over the world.  I know that there are millions laying on concrete or garbage.  Or on dirty mattresses stained with blood, sweat and tears.  Hungry and dirty.  Hopeless and afraid.  Sick, broken and wondering why the night has to be so long.

Their nights are full of fear.  Mine are not.

There are only two directions I can go with the knowledge of my peace in the night and my sisters’ fear in the night.  I can tuck away my knowledge, be grateful I am living in luxury, say a quick prayer and sleep my way through this life.  My other option is to take my knowledge, be grateful for my life and then give it away for others.

Fear stunts us and holds us back from the calling God places in our hearts.  The only thing that can overcome fear is love. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.  1 John 4:18.  If there ever was a good reason to conquer fear, it is so that we can love more fully, more deeply.  So that we can love not only those close to us, but so that we can love those in our periphery who are in need.  

God, I pray that, tonight, as we each go to the place we call Rest.  We would do so not just because of comfort.  But out of the full knowledge that we have done all that we are able in our waking hours to impact the darkness and despair and hopelessness of those in our reach. I pray that as You work out the big plans in our life Lord, we take every opportunity to make every small effort to feed just one person.  Smile at passers by. Complement our co-workers.  Give grace for no reason at all.  I pray that all our efforts are in your name God.  So that we would go to our place of Rest knowing that we have spent the day laying down our life for the same people and causes that you Love.  Amen.

JOURNEY THROUGH OCTOBER: CONQUERING FEAR in DR

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~week one~day 5~

Last summer, our whole family visited my brother in Dominican Republic.  Going somewhere new is brave.  Traveling with your whole family is brave (but we love it!).  Adventure and nature make you brave.  I have some great stories of bravery from our summer trip.

My favorite story of bravery was my sister in law up on the mountains zip-lining.  I had no idea she hated heights.  She didn’t look scared at all.  She geared up to go with the GoPro cam strapped to her helmet.  I would have never known she was scared until I heard her whispering her bravery mantra to herself between taking deeps breaths.  “I can do this.  Yes, I can do this.”  And then she jumped off the ledge.  Flying across the line.  13 times.  Fear was behind her.

Another great story of bravery was my 81 year old grandma walking the ramp to the wood ledge over the deep spring.  About 10-12 feet above the water, she listened to us cheer her on and jumped!  The cool water meet her and she came up for air smiling ear to ear.  No doubt she jumped, in part, to keep alive the adventure my late grandpa was well known for.

We saw other kinds of bravery.  In the slums of Santa Domingo, we visited a family whose kids were sponsored by Compassion International.  About eight people and a few pets lived in a tiny metal semi-permanent structure built over the city’s sewer system.  I think of the mom as brave.  She was brave because she was navigating her faith around her husband who reminded me of the old Temptations song – – Papa Was A Rollin Stone.  She faithfully brought her kids to the Compassion school.  She let strangers in to see her circumstances if only for an opportunity to share her story.  She let us pray for her mainly because when the needs are too great to meet, you have no option except to bring it to God.

I think we’re made to be brave.  I think fear is meant to be conquered.  I think we have it in us to tell ourselves to be brave.  To jump off ledges into air or water.  Whether we are 8 or 80.

JOURNEY THROUGH OCTOBER: CONQUERING FEAR

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~week one~day four~

Overcoming the Fear of Pain and Joy

We fear the gamut of life’s difficult experiences. We fear deep love and of being alone.  We fear personal change but don’t want to stay the same forever.  We fear raising children, but most of us take the risk anyway.  We fear having an empty life and also being too busy for the little things.  We fear.

I like to be alone and find much of my peace in solace.  But if I look deeply at myself, I fear facing the trials and responsibilities of this world alone.  Alone is probably my biggest fear.  I acknowledge this, while at the same time, I know the promise that He never leaves or forsakes us.  We fear the spectrum of the human experience in a rather ironic way.

As my dad faced the end of his days, his favorite verse became He will never leave me or forsake me.  Deuteronomy 31:6.  I don’t know the depth of his fear of death.  But I saw pure strength and wisdom arise out of his conquest of fear.  The full verse says Be Strong and Courageous for the Lord your God goes with you.  He will never leave you nor forsake you.  When someone is with you for always, you can be strong and courageous.

Fear runs in and through what we see as pain and trials.  But it also runs in and through what we envision as our most precious joys.  Overcoming fear brings us both out of trials and into joy. Simple truths like He will never leave us or forsake us usher us right through fear.

Journey Through October: Conquering Fear

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~week one~day two~

The Reason I Didn’t Read

I flinch at the thought of pain. It hurts. A season of pain usually means someone I love will be suffering. Maybe I will be stretched beyond my human capacity. There will be loss. I will have to dig deep into Him to locate answers, find direction. I will need to seek Him for air to breathe. For peace in the night.

I will have to apply the wisdom of the past to know He will deliver. I will have to Walk by Faith and Not Sight. I will have to believe that my greatest hopes for the circumstances will be worked out both in His perfection and creativity. I will have to take a step of faith to know His outcome is better than anything I may conjure up as good in my own heart or mind.

I will do all of these things while my heart is hurting. While I don’t understand. While I dream about better or different days. In between redoing the past and how I could have made things different. Had I been given the chance to replay. Surely things would have turned out better. Or, at least, less painful.

The past already taught me that once pain has come into my soul, it will take some time for the dirt to become fertile again. The barrenness will have to be carved out. Removing what is prohibiting or holding me back from growth. It takes a while for flowers to bloom again. Turning those pages felt like an invitation to relive all of it. All my pain. This is the reason why I didn’t read.

Journey Through October: Conquering Fear

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Join me as I journey through October facing fear. I will share with you many short posts recalling my own battles. Sharing bravery. Remembering scripture. Treasuring wisdom.

Dreams are reached through facing fear and persevering through pain.  Pain is by no means desirable. But with God. The very, very dark and desperate becomes bright, full of hope and inevitably beautiful.

~week one~day one~

It was not clear to me when I slammed the first book shut. I had just turned the page and landed on chapter 6 – – From Anxious to Peace: Conquering Fear. Forget Chapter 6, I said to myself. I don’t want to know what I am lacking in the way of peace. I don’t want to open up this topic so God can conveniently use it to refine me, prune me. Nope. Been there, done that. A few hundred times.

I cleverly excused myself to the other book I was reading. The second book needed reading for my Monday bible study anyway. I am a smart girl and I have my priorities straight. I don’t like pain. I will keep the first book shut For A Long Time.

The first book remained closed on my shelf. I continued to read the second book. Some time passed. I reached Part 3 of the second book. The title is God Knows My Fears. Slam. After all, I was a few chapters ahead of my bible study’s reading anyway. No need to get any further ahead.  For now.

It was not yet clear to me why I was slamming books shut on Conquering Fear.  But clarity was on its way.  Truth was reaching for me.  Wisdom was calling.  My answers were on the very next page . . .

Warrior Friends

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz1 Comment

The rain surrounding the storm Erica poured down as I pulled in a great big hug from my friend Sharon.  We did summer with barely a peep between us.  But as the school year rolled in, it was too unfamiliar to let another week pass.  Without sitting and talking about me & her & kids & school & parenting & our mothers & love & God & change & fear & forgiveness and then finally, when are we meeting next?

We sat together in rain, shine and Florida humidity every other Thursday for the whole 5th grade school year.  Our sacred Thursday meetings are supposed to be as real as the human soul can be.  When we began, we bobbed through months of testing the waters of real.  Can I cry?  Can I call you between Thursday meetings?  Can I tell you the truth about my struggle?  Can I ask you hard questions?  Can you help me decide what to do?  Do I quit or persevere?  We will continue to sit together and share real words among two real women.  Doing real life.  In a real attempt to mirror Jesus.

What I am learning as a person: Take in the beauty of a good friend’s words.  Let them pounce into your heart.  Let them strain out the doubt from your soul when you are doing good.  Let them point out the path of righteousness when you staggering.  Let her words be like honey in warm tea whether you are sipping to get better or sipping to stay well.

Verse:  The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent, and their lips promote instruction.  Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.  Proverbs 16:23-24

Deep Thought:  I have intentionally halted at chapters of two different books unexpectedly covering fear and anxiety.  My dear friend Sharon concludes that God won’t let me side step what He wants me to hear.  My dear heart stirs and senses that God has something to say about fear and anxiety.  So, yes, I will read and grow and change.  And, while I don’t yet know exactly what He plans to say, I promise to read and grow and change.

Quote: … “Before I was formed in my mother’s womb” – – and here I paused to add, unable to resist, “whose ever womb that was – – God knew me.  He knitted together my innermost parts and fashioned all of my days before there was even one of them.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Even though I only just found out that I was adopted, God has always known, and he has always loved me.  And since that has never changed, therefore nothing has essentially changed. I may not be who I thought I was, but I still am who he says I am.  And I am more.  I am loved.  I am his.”  Undaunted by Christine Caine

Book(s)/Blog(s)/People that Shape Me: I hesitate to root for what I haven’t yet read, but I suspect that Wild in the Hollow:Chasing Desire and Finding the Broken Way Home by Amber C Haines will be exactly what it says it will be.

My Prayer to You: My prayer is that you have a few warrior girlfriends.  The kind that make time to know you.  Grow you and take full pleasure in seeing God work in your life.  I pray that you keep an open ear to Wisdom in whatever form she comes, in whatever pain or joy you are experiencing.  I pray that you are a warrior-friend to one or two or three others.  May you choose gracious words for her that heal like honeycomb and are sweet to her soul.  May you remember that, no matter what, you are who He says you are.  You are what He says you are.  And, that is Loved.  Amen.

Written By Sasha Katz