Tag: Faith

Let Your Faith Take a Turn

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha KatzLeave a comment

The neat thing about faith is that it is always taking turns.  If you ever feel it stop moving, it is time to stop and let it move.  I’m in a moving season.  My faith has started to take a turn.  It’s like standing in front of an IMax screen and getting ready to step inside.

Part of what leads me to move has to do with friendships, the words I read, quiet moments.  Funny enough, exhaustion that brings me to spend most of day laying on the couch also brings my faith to move.

I’ve been writing a book about time.  As I have been wrapped up in my thoughts about time and eternity, I am being moved by what time really means and how that meaning ought to drive how we live life.

Emily P. Freeman shared an article by Ed Cyzewski about the contrast between a salvation moment and a life long conversation with God.  We are converted throughout our lives as we learn what it is to abide and to receive the life and transformation that God slowly brings. It’s not that we have a ticket that we can either protect or lose. It’s that God’s passionate love is pursuing each of us right now, and we can choose to either abide in it or go about our own business. 

We can abide in Him or we can go about our own business.  It may feel like an easy answer to choose to abide in Him.  It’s an easy Yes.  But in the hundreds of little choices you will make today, will you choose to abide in Him?  The decision is easy, the action point is harder.

I’m reading a book called Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin.  She tucks in a few lines that speak to my thoughts on time and how it plays into our long term life.  What if the [bible] passage you are fighting to understand today suddenly makes sense to you when you most need it, ten years from now?  It has been said that we overestimate what we can accomplish in one year and underestimate what we can accomplish in ten.  Are you willing to invest ten years in waiting for understanding?

I think we are meant to live like there is no time.  We are meant to live and move and breathe in a place and a space of depth.  Where we are not lassoed in by time constraints, judgmental time lines or frozen by time.  I think we were meant to live in the light of eternity.  Where there is no time.

 

The Yellow Brick Road

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha KatzLeave a comment

Sometimes things can look very nice on the outside, but they are, in fact, a mess on the inside.  Sometimes, we are making progress on the inside, but you really can’t tell on the outside quite yet.  Still looking rather messy.  And, sometimes you are a hot mess both on the inside and the outside.  It just depends.

The last few weeks, I’ve been working very hard to cover many bases, at work and at home.  In the midst of working hard, I am battling some anxiety.  Just when I level the anxiety, I realize that I am experiencing super high energy, which I assume is adrenaline.  I am basically going from high anxiety to high energy.  I really don’t know what that looks like on the outside.  Mainly because I am preoccupied with tending to the inside (and the circumstances).  But truly, I had the sense that I still looked pretty good on the outside.

It was either the fact that I forgot my make-up bag under my desk at work or I truly looked weathered, but three friends who would know the difference reached out to me with the same message.  You are not yourself.  You’re troubled or preoccupied with something.  I can hear it in your voice.  Yes, yes, yes, this I know.  But I didn’t think anyone else did.

Like you, I don’t have a lot of answers.  I have guts when I need to.  I cry when the Spirit touches me.  I try to have a heart after God’s own heart all of the time.  I dig my feet in the firm hold of faith when the horizon is looking bleak.  I ask for help.  I let go of having all of the answers.  I just do the stuff I know He calls me to in the best way I can.

My faith tells me that if I both hold tight and take action when He calls me to, the ending will be the result He had in mind.  We can’t argue with the result He had in mind.  Because it is always good.  Not often easy or what we had in mind. But always good and usually better than what you and I could have come up with on our own.

Like you, I don’t have a lot of answers.  But I had a moment of clarity this weekend.  My horizon is looking bleak lately.  I figured that if God painted a picture of my circumstances, and if I’m honest, maybe even me, it would look like the aftermath of Hurricane Wilma.  My version of what a war torn community looks like.  Trees down, grey coloring.  Silence all around you.

In my moment of clarity, God showed me the Emerald City and the Yellow Brick Road and the pack of friends walking and singing along the way to their Beautiful Destination.  He let me know that He sees the flower patches along my road.  He sees the friendships being made along the path.  He sees that, in community, I’m moving along the path to the Emerald City.  He sees what, right now, I cannot see.

And, now, thankfully, I can see what He sees.  He sees what my world is looking like on the outside, but in His wisdom, has shown me what He sees on the inside.  In our human ways, we can’t always judge what the inside or the outside really looks like.  Some days, the inside and outside don’t match, sometimes they do and sometimes they shouldn’t.  I’m just glad that we serve a God that always sees, always believes in us and always shows us the way down His Yellow Brick Road.

Becoming Less Linear

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz1 Comment

Today, I am thinking about who I am Becoming in a different light.  My standards are often so linear.  I think about beginnings and ends.  Time lines from A to B.  Getting there with successes and stumbles along the way.  Getting there with a point in time, or end, in mind.

God put the word Becoming in my heart.  Along with truths like Becoming doesn’t end.  We have a God that knew our names before time.  He had a plan for each of our individual lives before we came into existence.  His Word brought us into time, and His calling will bring us out of time.  To Him.  We don’t stop Becoming.

What I am learning as a person: I am learning to work hard to reach excellence in the weeds of my life.  But not to such a degree that I miss the gift of timelessness when it comes to Becoming.

Verse:  Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, “I believed, and so I spoke,” we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.  2 Corinthians 4:13-15

Deep Thought:  While there are stops and goes in this present time.  While there is death and life as we know it.  While linear makes sense right now.  There is no end to Becoming.  He knew us before time, He knows us as we experience time and He will know us in eternity where there is no time.  And, in my view, even in Heaven, we will be Becoming.

Quote: God fulfills the dreams He give us, but not in the way we expect.  God works through death and resurrection.  Your dream almost dies but then God makes it alive again.  Shake off the snakes and keep going.  Sermon notes from Pastor Doug Sauder’s message of August 16, Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale.

Book(s)/Blog(s)/People that Shape Me: My friend Letty V is shaping me.  I describe her by real, seeking and honest.  She is known at the office as Queen Velazquez.  She is known at Sports Ministry as prayerful and strong.   I’ve seen her hit a wall, kick the dust of her shoes and keep trucking.  I’ve seen her walk hard in storms.  She always keeps the wind at her back.  I’m honored that her faith impacts mine.  Helping me grow.  Helping me remember grace, and helping me remember the ins and outs of who I am.  Thank you Letty.

My Prayer to You: Father, help us see beyond A to B.  Help us see how good You are and that You have graciously put no restraint on grace and growth in our lives. Help us see eternity where we will finally understand timelessness. Help us believe and speak and share with others to Your glory.  Amen.

Written By Sasha Katz

When Your Next Step is a Blur

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz2 Comments

I don’t know any one who sets out to make the wrong decision.  In fact, most of the time, we take great measures to make the right decision.  But, what happens when the “great measures” taken still leave you blurry?

I have a back pack full of decisions waiting to me made.  They are the interconnected kind – – can’t make this one until I make that one . . . this one depends on the outcome of that one . . . It goes on like that in a chain of about a dozen decisions.

I am thankful for the direction when I know I’ve got it.  What I mean is that I typically wait for God to give me the go ahead – – on the big move.  Once I’ve got the go ahead, faith starts pumping through my blood.  Then the confidence makes it’s way to my mouth and brain.

So now that I have my direction – – I still have my whole back pack of interrelated decisions!  For me, that’s heavy.  It’s heavy for you too.  You’ve got your big life decisions like who to marry, what type of education, life long work.  You’ve got your personal decisions like worthwhile passions, friendships, faith.  You’ve got your daily decisions like what to eat, when to exercise or when to drop the schedule to take up another’s burden or just be a good listener.  It’s hard to deny that most of our decisions are interrelated with varying degrees of weight on our backs.  And, sometimes, the path of decision-making feels like a blur.

But blur in my book is a good thing.  The good kind of blur means – – I’ve got my direction, but I can’t see the whole way there.  The journey starts out as heavy and hard, but with God, it ends up light and adventurous.  This is the opportunity of faith.  Go ahead and embrace the blur.  I got the good feeling that end of a thing is better than the beginning.

FF NOv 11

Check Yourself

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha KatzLeave a comment

By Sasha Katz

I’ve been thinking about what my church means to me. In the believer’s life, meeting together in the presence of God matters. The happenings that take place, together, in His house, form our faith, cleanse and wash us. We are encouraged in the place called church. Whether love and good deeds are poured out on to you in His house or whether you are drawn to act yourself, this is the place where we are genuinely motivated to do God’s work. This is the ideal description of church and truly defines, for me, my church experience.

If I could add to the definition of church, I would include the word refuge. I think about my dad dying and how impossible it initially felt to grieve in the midst of my regular schedule. For weeks, there were only two places I could cry – – as I lay in bed at night or during Pastor Clay’s worship on Sunday morning. Only two places. I needed the church to be my grieving place and it was there for me.

I also think about the early days of my marriage and the downright spiritual attack I was beat up under by some of our extended family. If you’ve ever felt you may not be able to fully hold on to yourself, that was me. At my worst times, I sat in church holding onto my arms debating with myself if I could keep soundness of mind. Time after time, He built me up in His house. His strength empowered me to grow up in Him. It is occurring to me right now that if I hadn’t chosen Him as my pillar of strength at that time, I would not be the woman I am now.

Another time in my life, I did not want to give up my dream to be a stay at home mom. Through a turn of events, God allowed for me to be a full time working mom. There was only one place that I was able to entrust the daily care of my kids – – that is my church. I remember feeling like the church was an umbrella that I could remain safely under while the storms and showers of life come down.

I hope you catch my sentiment for the church. I hope you catch the meaning for me and, I desperately hope for all of us, that we can hitch our lives upon a Rock.  But, because we are human, God’s wonderfully perfect institutions, including the church, suffer sometimes. Mostly, or only, because of us. What has prompted me to think about what my church means to me comes by means of a self check.  Just a few months ago, our pastor resigned as a result of multiple affairs and numerous acts of sexual immorality (via pornography).  As the dust settles, there currently exists for me a sadness.  The subtle sadness is kind of like an envelope wrapped around a letter that holds really good news.  You’d like to open and throw away that envelope once and for all, so you can go on sharing the good news . . . but that darn envelope.

The upside of my self check is that I am glad to know that my love for my church was not wrapped around my former pastor.  It wasn’t wrapped around the popularity of his person or sermons.  God made Himself self-evident through the pulpit.  I am thankful that God is God.  I don’t feel lost under the loss because of that.

Self check yourself.  Wherever you meet with other believers under the umbrella of God, check your heart.  Why do you love His house?   Is it because your faith is built?  Are you washed by the word?  Are you encouraged to love and do good deeds?  What is your definition of church?  We are all prompted in times of change to check our self, but I think it’s better to check ourselves in the normal course of life.  What human heart could not use a check anyway?

July 19 FF Hebrews

 

While You Wait…

On By femmefuelIn FemmeFeatures by Bindu Adai-Mathew, March 20123 Comments

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

Waiting. Waiting for a husband. Waiting on Florida to finally feel like home. Waiting on a good job.  Waiting on the economy to improve. Waiting for our business to pick up.

If I had to describe one of the more prominent themes of my life during my 20s and 30s, it would probably be waiting on God. I can’t remember a time since college when I wasn’t waiting for something in my life to change or improve.

Two weeks ago, my pastor preached on the life of Joseph and how he “failed” and suffered for not his own mistakes, but insteade due to the lies and deceit of first, his own family, and then later, due to the lies of his boss’s wife.  As he preached on Joseph, my pastor promised us a profound comment regarding Joseph’s life and how we should handle life when it treats us so unfairly. After all, who better than Joseph could understand how difficult and challenging it can be to wait on God. Brace yourself, you don’t want to miss this. My pastor said, “Faith is born in a moment but grows over a lifetime.”

Huh?

Yeah. I get it. I felt the same way. As I waited for my pastor’s words of insight, I immediately sat upright in my chair, pen ready to write these words of wisdom. But when he said it, “Faith is born in a moment but grows over a lifetime,” I looked at my pastor confused and honestly, a little disappointed. I was waiting for an epiphany. I was waiting for spiritual insight that I could use to encourage myself during my own time of waiting.

“Faith is born in a moment but grows over a lifetime.”   

But think about it…the moment, we give our life to Jesus, Faith immediately blooms in our hearts like a wildflower. It takes root. But it is the course of our life, that our Faith is tested, tried, and proven.

When we wait on God, we are putting our faith directly into action. After all, it takes faith to believe God will move. It takes faith to believe that things are going to change even though everything in our life may indicate the opposite. It takes faith to trust and wait on God.

And who, out of all our great Biblical forefathers, didn’t have to wait?

  • God promised Abraham a child much earlier, but it wasn’t until he was a 100 years old that Abraham saw his promise fulfilled.
  • Joseph was in his teens when God showed him that he would be a leader and that others would bow and respect him, but he didn’t see it come to reality until he was 30.
  • Scholars estimate that King David was in his preteens when Samuel anointed him King, but he, too, didn’t become king until he was 30.
  • Moses spent 40 years in exile in Midian before God brought him back to lead the people out of Egypt.

Faith is definitely one of the more challenging spiritual muscles to develop…but it is undoubtedly one of the most rewarding. Unfortunately, faith cannot be practiced in hindsight…neither is it 20/20. It 100% requires that same leap of faith that you took when you initially accepted Christ as your savior. It’s believing in God’s promises and what He’s personally revealed or promised to you. It’s rarely easy but the testimony you will have later will be priceless.

So what are you waiting on God for? Have you asked yourself, instead, maybe what He is waiting on you for?

Remembering God

On By femmefuelIn FemmeFeatures by Bindu Adai-Mathew, January 20121 Comment

by Bindu Adai-Mathew

Two weeks ago the very thing I had been dreading since last June finally happened. I saw my Instant Messenger icon flashing on my computer screen and saw it was our CIO messaging me, asking me to stop by his office. As I trudged to his office, I almost felt as if I were back in elementary school being called into the principal’s office. I listened as he went on about how after our company was bought by the new company, he was being pressured to create “synergies” in IT, which would require him eliminating close to 60 jobs, including mine.  As he droned on with his corporate-speak, I sat there numbly.

Here we go again. I had just gone through another layoff just a year ago. Ironically, when I arrived at my new company, I was almost relieved to find that all my co-workers had been working there the last 9 to 12 years. Finally, I had thought back then, a place where I could hang my hat up and stay at one place. And then six months into my new job, the announcement came that another company was buying ours, which would probably result in a massive layoff.

As shock gave way to worry, panic soon began to set it. I would not only have to find a new job, but I had to worry about insurance since I was the policy holder. What if I didn’t find a job quickly? What if no one wanted me? What if…

Those runaway thoughts morphed into a cloud of despair that hovered over my head for hours, and I found myself feeling overwhelmed, defeated, hopeless.

But finally, a ray of light…a thought…finally penetrated through the darkness. Hadn’t God provided before? Hadn’t this job alone and the experience I gained here already set me on a more secure career path? Why was I freaking out?

Again, my spirit prompted me to think of the children of Israel as they wandered through the desert. Despite everything God had done for them, every time they faced an obstacle, they panicked. God had parted the Red Sea, he had provided them with manna during the mornings, and fire to warm and guide them at night. Yet, they still doubted.

Our lives, too, can often feel like we, too, are wandering in our own desert. Lost, aimless, confused about where we are headed. But no matter how many obstacles we face or how often we face the same ones, we must remember to dig in our heels deep in our faith and wait expectantly and excitedly on our Lord. Because He WILL provide. In a few weeks, and maybe even by the next post, I cannot wait to give my praise report.

But as we wait, we must be diligent to do our part. We must find refuge in His Word, devouring it like our daily bread, so it can provide us with sustenance throughout the day. Sustenance when we get tired, discouraged, and hopeless.

Here is a passage of scripture that I’ve been meditating on for the past weekthat’s reminded me that He will always take care of His people and our part is to seek Him, trust Him, and find our refuge in Him:

Psalms 34

1 I will extol the LORD at all times;    his praise will always be on my lips. 2 I will glory in the LORD;    let the afflicted hear and rejoice. 3Glorify the LORD with me;    let us exalt his name together.

4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;    he delivered me from all my fears. 5 Those who look to him are radiant;    their faces are never covered with shame. 6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;    he saved him out of all his troubles. 7The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,    and he delivers them.

8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;    blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. 9 Fear the LORD, you his holy people,    for those who fear him lack nothing. 10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,    but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. 11 Come, my children, listen to me;    I will teach you the fear of the LORD. 12 Whoever of you loves life    and desires to see many good days, 13 keep your tongue from evil    and your lips from telling lies. 14Turn from evil and do good;    seek peace and pursue it.

15 The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous,    and his ears are attentive to their cry; 16but the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,    to blot out their name from the earth.

17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;    he delivers them from all their troubles. 18The LORD is close to the brokenhearted    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

19 The righteous person may have many troubles,    but the LORD delivers him from them all; 20he protects all his bones,    not one of them will be broken.

21 Evil will slay the wicked;    the foes of the righteous will be condemned. 22 The LORD will rescue his servants;    no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.