Tag: Facebook

Just a Walk

On By femmefuelIn FemmeBytes by JMathis, September 2011 (Authenticity)2 Comments

By JMathis

Enoch lived in a fallen world, too.

In fact, his world was so corrupt that God was hell-bent on destroying it. Genesis 6:7

It wasn’t an iPhone® culture like ours, but it had all of the same lewdness, deceitfulness and greed that plagues our world even until today.

He lived in pretty dark times, and yet, Enoch managed to walk with God.

Everyday. Even while being a dad. Genesis 5:22

Maybe the pressures of that world were too great. Maybe being a parent wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. Or, maybe Enoch just always knew he was in need of a Savior.

Whatever it was, he made it a point to know God intimately. Especially in a time when people could care less about God and what He thought.

That’s what makes Enoch the real deal. A true authentic.

He walked so closely with God that he marched directly into heaven. Didn’t even pass ‘GO’…just walked right on through to the other side. Genesis 5:24

I wish I were the real deal. A true authentic.

For the most part, though, I’m just a Sunday morning Christian who can’t really imagine being that close with God and knowing Him in that way.

Life just seems too fast-paced. I can barely keep up with my thoughts. It’s a miracle that I can even keep myself together.

That’s what it’s like in our God-less culture.

It’s about scraping through the day-to-day and barely keeping it together. Everyday seeming more dissatisfying than the last.

Who has time for God? Who has time nowadays to be the real deal? A true authentic?

With such little time that we devote daily to our Creator, are we all just paying lip service to the fact that we’re Christians?

Is God just our get-out-of-jail card? Our just-in-case for the after-life? Our meal ticket out of here?

What a charade. What games we play with God.

Maybe we all missed the boat on this one. Maybe we all got it backwards.

Maybe life is more than just scraping through the day-to-day and barely keeping it together.

Maybe it’s about being the real deal. A true authentic. In a time and age that doesn’t value those qualities in you.

It’s overwhelming. I know. But maybe it’s about starting with baby-steps.

God doesn’t need us to be marathon runners on Day 1. He doesn’t need us to win the Olympic gold in sprinting by Day 2. He doesn’t need us to be an Abraham or a Paul by Day 3.

He just wants us to walk with Him. Everyday. Little by little. Baby-step by baby-step.

No pressure. No strings attached. Just a walk.

Aren’t you ready to be the real deal? To be a true authentic?

Aren’t you sick of the tugging, the pulling, the pushing and the shoving of this world?

I know I am.

So, let’s do this. Together. No over-thinking it. No over-spiritualizing it. No announcing it on Facebook.

Just a walk.

Everyday.

Little by little.

Baby-step by baby-step.

He just wants us to walk with Him.

High Drama

On By femmefuelIn August 2011 (Cultivating Friendships), FemmeBytes by Sasha KatzLeave a comment
The Infamous Picture

By AbbyA

Since we are reminiscing about old friends, I have a sad story to tell.  In fact, I don’t really want to tell it at all.  Because it makes me feel uncomfortable – – somewhere in between convicted and justified.  I think that’s called confusion.  Unless, of course, you can be both at the same time.

I was a part of a very close-knit group of girls through high school and middle school.  We traveled in a pack.  Ganged up on girls who dated our ex-boyfriends (or cheated with our boyfriends.)  High Drama.  Talked through the night until the phone fell off our ear.  High Drama.  Cried when we were happy and sad.  High Drama.  Drove each other home from school.  Drove around town on Friday and Saturday nights.  Solved our parents’ problems.  High Drama.  Lied about our age.  High Drama.  Burned at the beach together.  Ate whole pizzas.  Babysat siblings together.  Ransacked older brothers’ parties together.  We were a pack.  A High Drama Pack.

The pack went two directions after high school.  I went west to Louisiana and the rest headed to Seminole Territory.  Seems fairly natural except I was the only one who split.  There were plenty of meet-ups on holidays and summers.  But the bottom line was, for the most part, they were all together, and I was not.

There is a lifetime between then and now.  But that was the beginning of distance.  There was a wedding early on and it already felt weird.  I was pretty close to an outsider even though I was a bridesmaid.  There was a post college European trip where one of the gang came along with my college friends.  That was a severe disaster.  The story escalated to High Drama – –  “she” was left in Czech Republic while the three of “us” moved on to . . .  some other country.  There is only a grain of truth in that High Drama.  She was left at the train station a few exits from the hotel . . . whatever . . . I have no good explanation for it and I apologized to her about five years ago.  Anyway . . .

The distance didn’t end there.  To make matters worse, I headed off to law school.  Experienced personal drama.  Stopped talking to just about everyone for about twelve months.  When I came out of shock, I was too embarrassed to get back in touch with anyone.  There are many ways to tell this story, but I had the mindset that they perceived that my silence was the equivalent of me escalating myself above our friendships.  So I clammed up and handled it badly when I finally ran into one of them.  High Drama.

And then came Facebook.  I attempted to befriend them a few years ago, but no one really responded.  I think I am a “friend” of only one of these girls.  I guess you can call that Low Drama.  Lately, I have been trying to be a better Facebook friend – – trying to read threads and comment on pictures.  Curs’ed me.  High Drama.  I saw the whole slew of them on a reunion vacation together.  Every last one of them.   I even commented that they all looked beautiful.  No response.  High Drama.

This leads me to my current feeling of both conviction and justification.  On the one hand, we grew apart.  How many letters did I write those girls in college?  I don’t think anyone ever wrote back.  I moved on to what really was God’s plan for my life.  Justification.  In the rumble of growing up, I didn’t look back at the dust I left behind.  Perhaps I should have been kinder and more thoughtful.  Conviction.  High Drama.  I think it’s called confusion.  Unless, of course, you can be both at the same time.

Unplug Yourself

On By femmefuelIn FemmeFeatures by Bindu Adai-Mathew, Mind Body Spirit ConnectionLeave a comment

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

Many, many moons ago, I was addicted to television. Cartoons in the afternoon. Followed by Wonder Woman, Kung Fu, and Benson. The evening news was typically my final flag to turn off the television set and finally start my homework.

In the summers, my addiction to television grew even worse. I was forbidden to go outside, and due to the sweltering heat and no swimming pool in sight or friends to hang out with, I was often content to stay indoors. Unfortunately, that often entailed more television. I’d start off my mornings eating my cereal while watching the game shows: $25,000 Pyramid, Family Feud, the Price is Right. And then followed my soap operas:   Young and the Restless, All My Children, Days of Our Lives, and General Hospital. Finally in the afternoon, somewhere between the cartoons and Wonder Woman, I became nauseated on my television overload and would finally pick up a book to read. By evening, under my parents’ watchful eyes, I was finally able to get out of our house and enjoy some fresh air outside. Only to follow that up with some good ole primetime tv! (Yuck! Now I think I’m gonna throw up!)

Television. In the 80s and early 90s, that usually meant, ABC, NBC, CBS, and the Fox network.

Ahhh, the good old days. When life was truly simple.

Now we not only have television, we have Cable television. We have Premium channels. Movie channels.

Thank God that I am no longer an addict! But then yesterday, I read JMathis’s blog:

Time-killer. Brain-killer. Relationship-killer. Dream-killer. This is what I know about television.

Yet, I ingest this poison nightly.

I have all these dreams that I want to fulfill in my life—dreams which require much prayer, thought, planning, diligence and hard work. Yet, after a long day of work and going through the nightly motions of making dinner and putting my daughter to bed, I am too “exhausted” to even dream my dreams. Slowly, these dreams fade to black as the drone of the TV replaces them one-by-one and piece-by-piece, until they are no more and bear no more significance to my life.

Ouch!  As I read JMathis’s blog yesterday, I realized while I no longer had the luxury of watching television hours on end like I did as a child, I probably still watched it more than I should even now. As I read her blog, I began to feel convicted. I knew I was still guilty of watching television when I should be working on my book…or writing my blog…or spending quiet time with God.  But I wasn’t that bad…was I?

After all, I only watched it an hour or two in the evening when I was unwinding…or on the weekend when I was bored. Or when I was tired. Or when I felt stressed. Or even when there was nothing good to watch. Oh, no, I am still an addict!

But now it’s not just television. How many times have any of you logged onto Facebook—just for a minute or two, you promise yourself—just to check your status, and somehow magically two or three hours have flown by without you realizing it?! And if that isn’t enough, we also have email, Google-ing, Yahoo-ing, shopping, browsing, surfing, twittering, texting, etc. And we can choose to do it on our iPad, our Blackberry, our iPhone, or other mobile gadget. The amount of other things vying for our attention can feel overwhelming.

Time-killers. Brain-killers. Relationship-killers. Dream-killers.

All of them. Is it any surprise that all the things that are supposed to make our lives easier are actually only making them more complicated and busier?

What to do? We can’t just unplug our devices now can we…….or can’t we?

I haven’t read it yet, but I recently heard about a book written by a woman who did just that, albeit, she did have to bribe her three teenagers to get them to participate in the experiment. But in the her book, The Winter of Our Disconnect: How Three Totally Wired Teenagers (and a Mother Who Slept with Her iPhone) Pulled the Plug on Their Technology and Lived to Tell the Tale, the author recounts that while it was initially challenging to pull the plug to all of their technologies, in the end, they reconnected as a family and re-discovered many of the simpler pleasures of life like reading, playing musical instruments, and spending time together as a family.

While most of us would be hard-pressed to give up watching television or surfing or texting for several months or weeks, maybe we, too, can resolve to unplug ourselves for one day a week. Or for one evening.

Maybe after I finish my blog, I’ll quickly surf the Internet for the best deal on the book I just mentioned, and then I’ll turn off my computer, my Blackberry, and the TV and actually read a book the old fashioned way…oh, but wait…that means I’ll have to update my status on Facebook first…you know, just so my friends won’t be wondering where I am…

One step at a time, right?!  LOL!

Chasing Cars

On By femmefuelIn Best of JMathis, FemmeBytes by JMathis, June 2011 (Men and Boys)Leave a comment

By JMathis

“Never chase love, affection or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having.” –Unknown

I have a friend on Facebook who is a serial quoter. Every day she puts up a new quote that usually has zero significance or interest to me. I love her dearly, but sometimes all of this quoting just drives me bonkos. I mean, if I wanted to join the “quote of the day” club, I would have done so, right? (She will kill me when she reads this, by the way. Gulp.)

Yet, the other day, she posted the quote from above, which really caused me to stop and reflect about the entirety of my life (thank you, FB friend). I sat down and thought about all of this “chasing” that we do as women.

Chasing after men, chasing after kids, chasing for acceptance, chasing to please. It’s all so meaningless sometimes, as King Solomon would say, and yet a good chunk of my day is spent in the chase.

Like AbbyA, sadly, most of my pre-marriage days were spent in the chase of affection from men. I could write a telenovela screenplay about those days, but I’ll refrain (for the moment). Now, as much as I try to squash the impulse, most of my days are spent in the chase of pleasing ‘man’–not ‘man’, as in the male species, but ‘man’ in the generic sense–chasing the vanities and worries of humankind. Chasing the American dream, chasing the Parent of the Year award, chasing cars.

When Gary Lightbody, the frontman of Snow Patrol, was asked about the meaning of their song, “Chasing Cars”, he said that it was the “most pure and open love song [he’s] ever written.” The title, “Chasing Cars”, is actually a reference from Lightbody’s dad, who mentioned it to his son when Lightbody was obsessed with the affections of a certain girl: “You’re like a dog chasing a car. You’ll never catch it and you wouldn’t know what to do with it if you did.”

Ouch. Is that what we’re all doing everyday? Chasing metaphorical cars?

The heartbreaking thing is that we chase everything but the One Person who gives us love, attention and affection freely–the One Person who is actually worth the reward of a chase. We’re in the chase for everything, but yet at the end of the day, we’re in the chase for absolutely nothing of true meaning and eternal significance.

Meanwhile, our Heavenly Father waits. Waits patiently for us to embrace Him and all that He has to make us whole and complete.

He waits for us to stop running, to stop panicking, to stop vain pursuits, to stop worrying, to stop the cycle of hurt in our lives.

He sits there just waiting.

Waiting for us to stop…chasing cars.

Another Sex Scandal-Part II

On By femmefuelIn FemmeFeatures by JMathis, June 2011 (Men and Boys)Leave a comment

By JMathis

There was a time in medical schools everywhere, that instructors would scare future medical students by telling them the following: “Look to the student to your left. Look to the student to your right. Of the three of you, one of you will drop out before the year is over.”

I am told that in seminaries and Bible colleges nowadays, they employ a similar scare tactic, except it sounds something more like this: “Look to the student to your left. Look to the student to your right. Of the three of you, one of you will be affected by a sex scandal that will destroy your ministry.”

When my seminary student friend told me this, I was rocked to the core and suddenly felt like my eyes had been opened.

Sex scandals are not just a case of guys (and girls) behaving badly. They are a systematic tool by Satan to rip the foundations of families, churches and even political institutions.

Think about it. No one goes into seminary with the intention to cheat on his spouse and to bring his life-saving ministry to a screeching halt. No one goes into a marriage thinking that she will betray the one person who has sworn to remain committed through sickness and health, for richer or for poorer. No young victim of child molestation goes into life thinking that he will one day be a child rapist. 

But it happens. Everyday. Day after day. Satan uses sex—something so beautiful, sacred and divine—to kill, steal and destroy. Kill marriages, steal the minds of functioning members of society, and to destroy ministries that have the capability of bringing billions to Christ.

Women: pray for your future and current husbands. They are on the spiritual frontlines of your family, and Satan will do everything in his power to ensure that your family is destined for hell. He starts with the enticement of an innocent Facebook or Twitter flirtation, and in no matter of time, his plan is accomplished: a dissipation of trust, crushed dreams, fractured relationships, and more importantly—a family that has turned their backs on God due to pain, despair, humiliation and a host of unanswered “Why me’s? 

Churches: pray for your pastors and spiritual mentors. They are on the spiritual frontlines of cities, counties, states and now, with the far-reaching power of the Internet, even global web audiences. Satan will do everything in his power to ensure that the tens, hundreds, thousands and millions touched by these ministries are destined for hell. How many Catholic men are disillusioned and angered by God and the church due to a priest who succumbed to Satan’s plan? How many churches shut their doors because of a pastor’s infidelity? How many international healing and deliverance ministries are disbanded due to allegations of sexual abuse?

It is very easy for us to laugh and roll our eyes in disbelief at the Tigers, Schwarzeneggers and Weiners of this world. It’s even easier for us to judge and wag our collective, holier-than-thou fingers at the Bishop Longs, Jim Bakkers, Ted Haggards and Catholic priests of the Christian world.

However, when was the last time you really prayed for these fallen men? Prayed for the healing and restoration of their marriages, their children, and their ministries? When have we really wept in spiritual sorrow over the countless numbers of lives Satan has ruined by these sex scandals?

Ladies, this is not just a case of men behaving badly. Our men are systematically being targeted by Satan in his broader plan to overthrow the Kingdom of God.

And, by no means am I writing these words to defend or excuse the actions of perpetrators, predators, pedophiles, pimps and perverts.

Instead, I am writing these words to plead for a call to prayer and fasting to eradicate one of Satan’s most effective weapons against Christians: the sex scandal. Whether it takes the form of suburban infidelity, or the fall of a mega-church pastor, the result is the same: shattered lives and a multitude of hearts turned away from God the Father.

Pray for your men.

Fast for your men.

Get on your hands and knees for your men.

Look to the person to your left. Look to the person to your right. “Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat.” Luke 22:31

Part 5 of Interview with Matt Patterson, Author of My Emily

On By femmefuelIn FemmeInterviews by JMathis, March 2011 (Luck v. Faith)1 Comment

Emily wasn’t born perfect – so one might think. She was born with Down Syndrome and many would jump to the conclusion that she would have very little hope for a life with any significance. Two years later came the diagnosis of leukemia. What little hope remaining turned to no hope whatsoever – or so one might think. This short story tells how the life of one little girl, with all its perceived imperfections, had great meaning. Her loving nature and courage touched the hearts of everyone she met. She also taught them how to value their own lives – even with their many “imperfections.” –From My Emily, by Matt Patterson.  

Matt Patterson, the author of My Emily, is a writer who decided to finally share the story of his daughter with hopes to raise funds for those who are raising children with special needs and fighting cancer. My Emily is indeed a testament of a father’s love for his daughter. More importantly, it is a heartwarming memoir of how in just a short time here on this earth, a young daughter transformed the life of her father, and all those who came in contact with her.

In this month when FemmeFuel is contemplating the ideas of luck vs. faith, we interview Matt Patterson, who on the surface may seem “unlucky” when his daughter Emily is born with Down Syndrome, and later diagnosed with leukemia. However, as Matt shares, it was he who was blessed by God in the call to serve as Emily’s father.

In case you missed it, click here to read Part 1…

Click here to read Part 2…

Click here to read Part 3…

Click here to read Part 4…

Do you find Jesus most connected to our lives when you consider Him (a) with us in our suffering or (b) as the one who rescues us from our suffering?

I might be taking the easy way out – but I’m going to say both. Allow me to explain.

When Emily was born and we heard the word, “leukemia,” we were devastated. He was with us. We sought Him out in prayer long before we heard this diagnosis, so we knew He was with us.

Once Emily passed, I was mad at God. I was ticked. I wanted nothing to do with Him.

To allow His angel to suffer as such, well, I didn’t have much use for a God that permitted that. He rescued me by having me tell others of her passing. A heart that was full of anger and venom was cleansed by His mercy. By having me speak with others over and over again, it made me realize the comfort that He provides. At a time when I could have completely forsaken him, He rescued me.

Do you have a more sincere, true faith after being on this journey with Emily? How is it different from the faith you had prior to your experiences with Emily?

 Yes, I most certainly do! I can now say, “But I trust in you, O Lord; ‘You are my God.’ My times are in your hands.”(Psalm 31:14-15) I could have never said that even three years ago.

At the time of Emily’s birth, diagnosis and passing,  we were members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as Mormon or LDS).  I do have to admit at times I felt Emily’s conditions were the Lord’s way of punishing me for not being the perfect member of that religion.

It wasn’t until three years ago we attended a church and the message spoke heavily of legalism. It was the second time we visited a Christian church and when I heard the statement, “You have to ask yourself this question. Am I practicing a religion or do I have a relationship with God?”

After living my whole life entrenched in a religion that based my level of salvation on my deeds and accomplishments, and to hear this question. It was life-changing. As soon as my wife and I heard it – we looked at each other simultaneously. When we left that night, I asked my wife if she would support me leaving the LDS chuch. She gave me a wonderful, one word answer – “Absolutely.”

So today, to know what mercy and grace are – (words we never heard before) – well, it’s a long way from the burden of guilt and depression associated with legalism.

Order My Emily today on Amazon to help support families who are raising children with special needs and cancer. To learn more about Emily’s story, check out My Emily on Facebook.

Part 4 of Interview with Matt Patterson, Author of My Emily

On By femmefuelIn FemmeInterviews by JMathis, March 2011 (Luck v. Faith)1 Comment

Emily wasn’t born perfect – so one might think. She was born with Down Syndrome and many would jump to the conclusion that she would have very little hope for a life with any significance. Two years later came the diagnosis of leukemia. What little hope remaining turned to no hope whatsoever – or so one might think. This short story tells how the life of one little girl, with all its perceived imperfections, had great meaning. Her loving nature and courage touched the hearts of everyone she met. She also taught them how to value their own lives – even with their many “imperfections.” –From My Emily, by Matt Patterson.  

Matt Patterson, the author of My Emily, is a writer who decided to finally share the story of his daughter with hopes to raise funds for those who are raising children with special needs and fighting cancer. My Emily is indeed a testament of a father’s love for his daughter. More importantly, it is a heartwarming memoir of how in just a short time here on this earth, a young daughter transformed the life of her father, and all those who came in contact with her.

In this month when FemmeFuel is contemplating the ideas of luck vs. faith, we interview Matt Patterson, who on the surface may seem “unlucky” when his daughter Emily is born with Down Syndrome, and later diagnosed with leukemia. However, as Matt shares, it was he who was blessed by God in the call to serve as Emily’s father.

In case you missed it, click here to read Part 1…

Click here to read Part 2…

Click here to read Part 3…

What scriptures, poems, songs or books helped you along your journey with Emily? 

I’m one who loves to find words – whether they’re from scripture, songs, books – to gain a greater sense of comfort or understanding of a personal situation.

Among scriptures, I find – Philippians 4:6-7: Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Also, 1 Peter 5:7 – Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 – Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

And in regard to serving others, Romans 8:28 strikes me: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

There are also lyrics I share in the book of a lullaby titled, “Goodnight Emily” that bring me back to the nights I would rock Emily to sleep. It was our time together each and every night.

Goodnight Emily, sleep tight Emily,
Jesus keep your dreams.
The God above is a God of love
so, little girl sleep in peace.

Currently, there are numerous Christian Contemporary songs and groups that bring me closer to God, inspiring me in moments of stress or times where I just need to take a breather. I can only say that the work of these artists have brought such a calmness in my life when I’ve needed it the most. I really love finding lyrics that touch me with regard to what I have endured in the past or what I’m currently experiencing.

In the past, I was previously a U2 and Bruce Springsteen fanatic. Now, I only listen to artists and groups such as The Robbie Seay Band, Sanctus Real, Matthew West, Casting Crowns, and the Michael Gungor Band. I’m a better person by making this subtle change in my life. 

Stay tuned tomorrow for more of Matt Patterson‘s interview with FemmeFuel…

Order My Emily today on Amazon to help support families who are raising children with special needs and cancer. To learn more about Emily’s story, check out My Emily on Facebook.