Tag: daughter

Walking & Talking on Mountains

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz2 Comments

I was walking in the sun with my daughter training for our summer mountain climb.  We were with about ten other women on what we affectionately call Trash Mountain.  In Florida, we have flat and, when we want an incline, we go to the local trash mountain.

There we were, sweating bullets in groups of two and threes, hiking up and down the sides of the man-made hill.  As I held my daughter’s hand and walked, I listened to the conversation ahead and behind me.  I leaned into my own conversation with my daughter and thought about the magic taking place.

There is something profound that happens when like-minded women gather together for a purpose.  Without any agenda, the conversations run deep on Trash Mountain.  The words shared mirror the seasons of parenting and speak of children still small and others taller than their mamas.  The conversations speak of concerns only women know.  The conversations dig up past experience and contemplate the future.  The conversations echo and resonate among the group of hiking ladies. I walk with my daughter and ponder the beauty and depth taking place.

Women have an uncanny knack for seeing more than meets the eye.  I see this gift at work as women on this mountain walk and talk.  As I hike with my daughter, I want her to be invited into the depth.  I want her to hear the thoughts of women as they talk through motherhood, education, the beginnings and ends of things.  Of times past and times to come.  I am proud of her when she enters into the conversation in her ten year old way.

This is the beginning of her introduction to womanhood, to motherhood and to friendship.  In this community, she will find in herself the knack to sense the needs of others.  She will become attuned to how needs can be met through walking and talking along side another woman.  She will understand why women gather for a purpose.

She will understand that, while she is young, she has a lot to learn from the mamas around her.  She will know unity and community well enough to enter in even as a girl.  Over many walks and talks, she will understand that she has both much to learn and much to give.  She will take in the value of becoming wise and in giving freely.  And, someday, when her path has stretched over many years, she will continue the walk and the talk of mamas.  She will continue to share and love and embrace the magic of hiking with like-minded women on mountains.

If you like the idea of hiking on mountains for a purpose, check out thefreedomchallenge.com.  You may find yourself in Machu Picchu in the the Fall of 2017. 

A Mother’s Heart is Universal

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz, UncategorizedLeave a comment

The wind doesn’t just blow. The origin of its direction and momentum begins with a breath from a maker.  We cannot always see this invisible leading, but it is always there. This leading is the same with our mothers.

Winds carry us, and even turn our direction, when necessary. Winds blow our hair away from our eyes so that we can see what is in front of us. Winds toss objects that were headed for us, away from us. This protection is the same with our mothers.

Winds do not follow maps, but intuitively cooperate with an orchestra that is masterfully playing. Winds arrive and disappear exactly at the perfect time. This intuition is the same with our mothers.

Mothers lead, protect and intervene in their child’s lives. When there is heartache, a mother comforts and supports. When there is pain, a mother mends with wisdom and strength. Where there is victory, a mother rejoices.

With confidence, I can say that a mother’s heart is universal. These qualities of leading, protecting and encouragement pass cultural lines. International boundaries. Shades of skin and belief systems. When a mother cries out for her child, she is heard and felt by the heart of many mothers.

This is why my heart cries for the daughters – – the victims – –  of human trafficking.  There is no other evil that declares its enemy quite as decisively as the sex trade. A daughter is the target of this darkness. The target of this weapon is her unique ability to lead and protect.  This weapon depletes her freedom, steals her hope and breaks her body. My heart cries for these daughters, their mothers and their grandmothers.

This is why we are four generations – – daughter, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother – –  standing for daughters who are trapped and living with only a grain of hope.  This is why the four of us are traveling to the Grand Tetons with Freedom Challenge this summer. We are accepting a physical challenge to climb. We are claiming victory for the daughters who cannot yet claim their own freedom.

This generational effort is only a mirror of the strength that has been displayed to me over the years. Who I am and who I hope to be has been spoken into me by the words and prayers of my mother and grandmother. Their spiritual and emotional strength has been matched by their time and resources. Their winds, sometimes gentle and sometimes like a hurricane, have blessed and moved mountains in my life. I believe that the strength of four generations climbing has the power to move global mountains.

If you are a woman, you were made to blow strong like the wind. Your invisible strengths like wisdom and intuition have great power to impact many daughters. Your visible power such as time and resources has immeasurable power to change the lives of many hopeless and trapped daughters.  Your winds can blow for local and global change. Blow, gentle Spirit, blow in us so that even our very last breath is one that carries another daughter to her freedom.

This post was recently shared on Freedom Challenge’s blog.  I encourage you to learn more about human trafficking and The Freedom Challenge.  You just may find yourself climbing for another woman’s freedom.

 

 

Part 5 of Interview with Matt Patterson, Author of My Emily

On By femmefuelIn FemmeInterviews by JMathis, March 2011 (Luck v. Faith)1 Comment

Emily wasn’t born perfect – so one might think. She was born with Down Syndrome and many would jump to the conclusion that she would have very little hope for a life with any significance. Two years later came the diagnosis of leukemia. What little hope remaining turned to no hope whatsoever – or so one might think. This short story tells how the life of one little girl, with all its perceived imperfections, had great meaning. Her loving nature and courage touched the hearts of everyone she met. She also taught them how to value their own lives – even with their many “imperfections.” –From My Emily, by Matt Patterson.  

Matt Patterson, the author of My Emily, is a writer who decided to finally share the story of his daughter with hopes to raise funds for those who are raising children with special needs and fighting cancer. My Emily is indeed a testament of a father’s love for his daughter. More importantly, it is a heartwarming memoir of how in just a short time here on this earth, a young daughter transformed the life of her father, and all those who came in contact with her.

In this month when FemmeFuel is contemplating the ideas of luck vs. faith, we interview Matt Patterson, who on the surface may seem “unlucky” when his daughter Emily is born with Down Syndrome, and later diagnosed with leukemia. However, as Matt shares, it was he who was blessed by God in the call to serve as Emily’s father.

In case you missed it, click here to read Part 1…

Click here to read Part 2…

Click here to read Part 3…

Click here to read Part 4…

Do you find Jesus most connected to our lives when you consider Him (a) with us in our suffering or (b) as the one who rescues us from our suffering?

I might be taking the easy way out – but I’m going to say both. Allow me to explain.

When Emily was born and we heard the word, “leukemia,” we were devastated. He was with us. We sought Him out in prayer long before we heard this diagnosis, so we knew He was with us.

Once Emily passed, I was mad at God. I was ticked. I wanted nothing to do with Him.

To allow His angel to suffer as such, well, I didn’t have much use for a God that permitted that. He rescued me by having me tell others of her passing. A heart that was full of anger and venom was cleansed by His mercy. By having me speak with others over and over again, it made me realize the comfort that He provides. At a time when I could have completely forsaken him, He rescued me.

Do you have a more sincere, true faith after being on this journey with Emily? How is it different from the faith you had prior to your experiences with Emily?

 Yes, I most certainly do! I can now say, “But I trust in you, O Lord; ‘You are my God.’ My times are in your hands.”(Psalm 31:14-15) I could have never said that even three years ago.

At the time of Emily’s birth, diagnosis and passing,  we were members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as Mormon or LDS).  I do have to admit at times I felt Emily’s conditions were the Lord’s way of punishing me for not being the perfect member of that religion.

It wasn’t until three years ago we attended a church and the message spoke heavily of legalism. It was the second time we visited a Christian church and when I heard the statement, “You have to ask yourself this question. Am I practicing a religion or do I have a relationship with God?”

After living my whole life entrenched in a religion that based my level of salvation on my deeds and accomplishments, and to hear this question. It was life-changing. As soon as my wife and I heard it – we looked at each other simultaneously. When we left that night, I asked my wife if she would support me leaving the LDS chuch. She gave me a wonderful, one word answer – “Absolutely.”

So today, to know what mercy and grace are – (words we never heard before) – well, it’s a long way from the burden of guilt and depression associated with legalism.

Order My Emily today on Amazon to help support families who are raising children with special needs and cancer. To learn more about Emily’s story, check out My Emily on Facebook.

Part 4 of Interview with Matt Patterson, Author of My Emily

On By femmefuelIn FemmeInterviews by JMathis, March 2011 (Luck v. Faith)1 Comment

Emily wasn’t born perfect – so one might think. She was born with Down Syndrome and many would jump to the conclusion that she would have very little hope for a life with any significance. Two years later came the diagnosis of leukemia. What little hope remaining turned to no hope whatsoever – or so one might think. This short story tells how the life of one little girl, with all its perceived imperfections, had great meaning. Her loving nature and courage touched the hearts of everyone she met. She also taught them how to value their own lives – even with their many “imperfections.” –From My Emily, by Matt Patterson.  

Matt Patterson, the author of My Emily, is a writer who decided to finally share the story of his daughter with hopes to raise funds for those who are raising children with special needs and fighting cancer. My Emily is indeed a testament of a father’s love for his daughter. More importantly, it is a heartwarming memoir of how in just a short time here on this earth, a young daughter transformed the life of her father, and all those who came in contact with her.

In this month when FemmeFuel is contemplating the ideas of luck vs. faith, we interview Matt Patterson, who on the surface may seem “unlucky” when his daughter Emily is born with Down Syndrome, and later diagnosed with leukemia. However, as Matt shares, it was he who was blessed by God in the call to serve as Emily’s father.

In case you missed it, click here to read Part 1…

Click here to read Part 2…

Click here to read Part 3…

What scriptures, poems, songs or books helped you along your journey with Emily? 

I’m one who loves to find words – whether they’re from scripture, songs, books – to gain a greater sense of comfort or understanding of a personal situation.

Among scriptures, I find – Philippians 4:6-7: Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Also, 1 Peter 5:7 – Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 – Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

And in regard to serving others, Romans 8:28 strikes me: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

There are also lyrics I share in the book of a lullaby titled, “Goodnight Emily” that bring me back to the nights I would rock Emily to sleep. It was our time together each and every night.

Goodnight Emily, sleep tight Emily,
Jesus keep your dreams.
The God above is a God of love
so, little girl sleep in peace.

Currently, there are numerous Christian Contemporary songs and groups that bring me closer to God, inspiring me in moments of stress or times where I just need to take a breather. I can only say that the work of these artists have brought such a calmness in my life when I’ve needed it the most. I really love finding lyrics that touch me with regard to what I have endured in the past or what I’m currently experiencing.

In the past, I was previously a U2 and Bruce Springsteen fanatic. Now, I only listen to artists and groups such as The Robbie Seay Band, Sanctus Real, Matthew West, Casting Crowns, and the Michael Gungor Band. I’m a better person by making this subtle change in my life. 

Stay tuned tomorrow for more of Matt Patterson‘s interview with FemmeFuel…

Order My Emily today on Amazon to help support families who are raising children with special needs and cancer. To learn more about Emily’s story, check out My Emily on Facebook.

Part 3 of Interview with Matt Patterson, Author of My Emily

On By femmefuelIn FemmeInterviews by JMathis, March 2011 (Luck v. Faith)Leave a comment

Emily wasn’t born perfect – so one might think. She was born with Down Syndrome and many would jump to the conclusion that she would have very little hope for a life with any significance. Two years later came the diagnosis of leukemia. What little hope remaining turned to no hope whatsoever – or so one might think. This short story tells how the life of one little girl, with all its perceived imperfections, had great meaning. Her loving nature and courage touched the hearts of everyone she met. She also taught them how to value their own lives – even with their many “imperfections.” –From My Emily, by Matt Patterson.

Matt Patterson, the author of My Emily, is a writer who decided to finally share the story of his daughter with hopes to raise funds for those who are raising children with special needs and fighting cancer. My Emily is indeed a testament of a father’s love for his daughter. More importantly, it is a heartwarming memoir of how in just a short time here on this earth, a young daughter transformed the life of her father, and all those who came in contact with her.

In this month when FemmeFuel is contemplating the ideas of luck vs. faith, we interview Matt Patterson, who on the surface may seem “unlucky” when his daughter Emily is born with Down Syndrome, and later diagnosed with leukemia. However, as Matt shares, it was he who was blessed by God in the call to serve as Emily’s father.

In case you missed it, click here to read Part 1…

Click here to read Part 2…

Did any questions about suffering lead you to retreat from people, or reach out more towards others? 

Shortly after Emily’s passing, I think that both my wife and I withdrew from people. I personally had a very deep anger toward God.

Here’s where my “why” question came in to the picture. Why does a God allow a child – not just my child, but any child – to suffer through this type of illness and the treatments associated with it? Why does a God allow a child with special needs to suffer like this? Why does a merciful God allow a child to go through this illness and harsh treatments to allow her to go into remission and then, allow her to relapse, and again, start an even more intense regimen of chemotherapy? Those were my questions regarding suffering and shortly after Emily’s passing, I cut off all communication with God. I was mad. I was furious. I wasn’t going to give Him the time of day. The farther I pushed away from God, however, the more opportunities He gave to me to share Emily’s passing with those I came into contact with on a daily basis. I finally came to the conclusion that God gave me these sharing experiences with others as a way of healing. Are there days I still cry while sharing it? Of course. I have always wanted to help those families with children who have special needs or those battling pediatric cancer. I just didn’t know how to do so. Twenty years later, he gave me a vehicle to share her story and hopefully help others.

How would you advise other people on how to minister to or support a family going through what your family has gone through with Emily? What do you wish was done for your family during that time?

First, I have to say that the blessings that come from serving, comforting and supporting others are absolutely immeasurable. 

 It’s my thought and belief that each of us grieve differently. For example, I have always wanted to share Emily’s story, but was I ready to minister and comfort others, say 10 years ago? I would have to say no.  Now that I have a better understanding of the grieving process, I can truly say my passion to share her story and help others is at a level that’s difficult to quantify. It becomes very personal and emotional some days. There are still days when I need to lean on those closest to me for support and comfort. I have to say there was so much done for us during Emily’s illness and passing, I don’t look back and say, “Well, it would’ve been nice if they were there more for us.” We consider ourselves blessed for the support we did receive.

Stay tuned tomorrow for more of Matt Patterson‘s interview with FemmeFuel…

Order My Emily today on Amazon to help support families who are raising children with special needs and cancer. To learn more about Emily’s story, check out My Emily on Facebook.

Part 2 of Interview with Matt Patterson, Author of My Emily

On By femmefuelIn FemmeInterviews by JMathis, March 2011 (Luck v. Faith)Leave a comment

Emily wasn’t born perfect – so one might think. She was born with Down Syndrome and many would jump to the conclusion that she would have very little hope for a life with any significance. Two years later came the diagnosis of leukemia. What little hope remaining turned to no hope whatsoever – or so one might think. This short story tells how the life of one little girl, with all its perceived imperfections, had great meaning. Her loving nature and courage touched the hearts of everyone she met. She also taught them how to value their own lives – even with their many “imperfections.” –From My Emily, by Matt Patterson.  

Matt Patterson, the author of My Emily, is a writer who decided to finally share the story of his daughter with hopes to raise funds for those who are raising children with special needs and fighting cancer. My Emily is indeed a testament of a father’s love for his daughter. More importantly, it is a heartwarming memoir of how in just a short time here on this earth, a young daughter transformed the life of her father, and all those who came in contact with her.

In this month when FemmeFuel is contemplating the ideas of luck vs. faith, we interview Matt Patterson, who on the surface may seem “unlucky” when his daughter Emily is born with Down Syndrome, and later diagnosed with leukemia. However, as Matt shares, it was he who was blessed by God in the call to serve as Emily’s father.

In case you missed it, click here to read Part 1…

Now that you have gone through this journey with Emily, do you find it harder or easier to discuss the big questions about God?

Today, I find it easier to discuss the big questions about God. I feel like my wife and I have traveled a path that has prepared us. I say it’s easier, but I think if you ask anyone who knows me or who has heard our story, they will tell you I can be quite emotional.

The “why” question is one, I believe, we all ask when we’re confronted with difficult times. Whether it be a serious illness, the loss of a loved one, or any other moment that seems to try our faith. We need to remember that it’s okay to ask God questions, but we also need to be mindful that God has never promised to answer them either. Knowing the “why” isn’t going to take the pain away. We have to learn to ask other questions other than “why”.

For us, it was initially the birth of Emily. We were in our early-to-mid 20s and we were so excited about the birth of our first child. The following morning we were given the news that Emily was born with Down Syndrome. It was like a punch in the stomach. Initially, I had no idea whatsoever what Down Syndrome was. I was truly clueless. Then, just two years later – a diagnosis of leukemia. If the first punch in the gut hurt, the second brought me to my knees. I’m of the belief that we’re very capable of finding God’s answers to our “why” questions. Now, His answers may not be the ones we want, but if we’re willing to listen closely, these answers will be of great comfort to us.

Based on your experience with Emily, do you believe in luck? Did you ever think that you got dealt a bad hand in life?

I’m not a real big believer in luck.  Do I believe in coincidence? Not really. I do not believe I got dealt a bad hand! Quite the opposite! Was it a painful time? Yes, absolutely! I feel the Lord blessed us with Emily – no doubt whatsoever. It was our destiny to be her parents. We are such better people for having gone through this. I consider myself “lucky” to be able to share her story and perhaps touch a heart or two. It has given me such an opportunity to serve. Whether it be at cancer or grief support groups, or to an individual in our congregation or just a person in passing or even on-line, I feel I’m so very blessed to be able to perhaps help in some small way.

Stay tuned tomorrow for more of Matt Patterson‘s interview with FemmeFuel…

Order My Emily today on Amazon to help support families who are raising children with special needs and cancer. To learn more about Emily’s story, check out My Emily on Facebook.

Interview with Matt Patterson, Author of My Emily

On By femmefuelIn FemmeInterviews by JMathis, March 2011 (Luck v. Faith)Leave a comment

Emily wasn’t born perfect – so one might think. She was born with Down Syndrome and many would jump to the conclusion that she would have very little hope for a life with any significance. Two years later came the diagnosis of leukemia. What little hope remaining turned to no hope whatsoever – or so one might think. This short story tells how the life of one little girl, with all its perceived imperfections, had great meaning. Her loving nature and courage touched the hearts of everyone she met. She also taught them how to value their own lives – even with their many “imperfections.” –From My Emily, by Matt Patterson.

Matt Patterson, the author of My Emily, is a writer who decided to finally share the story of his daughter with hopes to raise funds for those who are raising children with special needs and fighting cancer. My Emily is indeed a testament of a father’s love for his daughter. More importantly, it is a heartwarming memoir of how in just a short time here on this earth, a young daughter transformed the life of her father, and all those who came in contact with her.

In this month when FemmeFuel is contemplating the ideas of luck vs. faith, we interview Matt Patterson, who on the surface may seem “unlucky” when his daughter Emily is born with Down Syndrome, and later diagnosed with leukemia. However, as Matt shares, it was he who was blessed by God in the call to serve as Emily’s father.

Describe any crises of faith you experienced when Emily was born with Down Syndrome. What do you think of talking about your faith like this?

I think the initial shock of hearing the words “Down Syndrome” was the initial crisis, if you want to call it that. I think hearing it the next day was quite the blind-sided hit. I made calls to anyone and everyone the morning Emily was born with so much enthusiasm and excitement. Then, when hearing the news the following morning, I had to make a second round of calls. Shortly thereafter, once the shock had worn off, we felt so very blessed to have Emily. She was so full of love. We felt blessed to have her.

The actual diagnosis of leukemia took on a form of panic that I had never experienced. The first words that gathered in my mind – well, at least once I found out what leukemia was – were cancer and death. I had never lost anyone close to me before. This would be the first time I would have my faith tested and ask, “why”?

I never felt like an atheist or agnostic during this whole experience. I have always been a person who believed in God. Although, to say my faith was being tried would be an absolute understatement. I have always been a prayerful person. The thing is, I was one who gave thanks quickly and expounded long and hard on the things I needed. In this situation, I was praying for God to make my daughter better. Rid her of this dreaded cancer. At times, I felt like I was bargaining or bartering with Him in my prayers. “If you heal Emily, I’ll do this or never do that again.” My faith seemed like a daily roller coaster, dependent on the news we received each day from the medical staff.

I did learn from our GriefShare group that God’s story explains to each of us why we suffer and die. We’re living smack dab in the middle of it and it is the key to our understanding. I love talking about my faith like this because it allows me to grow. I have so much to learn. Even though Emily passed away 20 years ago, I’m just learning about my faith and how to heal. I believe that in order to heal, I need to be an instrument to minister to others.

What are the clichés about God that you heard in terms of Emily’s life? Why are they inadequate? What would be better to say instead?

To be honest, I really can’t remember too many – although I can remember rolling my eyes. No matter what was said, of course, some do hold a level or element of truth, but it almost comes off like a greeting card and not a genuine statement of concern or belief.  I believe people who go through this rough period in their lives just want authentic sincerity and concern. Pray with us. Cry with us. Hug us. Be genuine. Be sincere. Words don’t have to be eloquent. Actions speak louder than words. Actions are not a cliché…

Stay tuned tomorrow for more of Matt Patterson‘s interview with FemmeFuel…

Order My Emily today on Amazon to help support families who are raising children with special needs and cancer. To learn more about Emily’s story, check out My Emily on Facebook.