The Golden Rule

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Most of us recall the Golden Rule, which is also scripture, from our youth. In one of my elementary classes, it was emblazoned across the top of the bulletin board and seemed to be the first rule of thumb that our teacher wanted us to know and practice. Rather than have a long laundry list of rules that itemized unacceptable behavior, such as do not push, do not hit, etc. It seemed that it was the one rule that covered the need for an endless list of rules.

It’s also a great guideline for friendship when you think about it. I think about those lost friendships, those toxic friendships, and those stagnant friendships that we have talked about over the past two weeks. I think about JMathis’ post yesterday. Conviction is the word. Have I always treated my friends as I hoped they would treat me? Have you?

More than likely, most of us have failed to follow it. But let it be your guide as you respond to the people who cross your path today. Let it be your guide as you continue to nurture and/or restore your friendships.  Let it be your guide as you make new friends.

With Conviction Comes Revelation

By JMathis

The Holy Spirit has brought the Writer Femmes to our knees this month, as every notion we previously held about friendship has been dissected, tested, crushed and revolutionized.

We innocuously chose the subject matter of Cultivating Friendships as a nice, plain vanilla, non-threatening segue for the MeetUp we will be holding in a few weeks. “Wouldn’t it be great to discuss friendships as we meet and make new friends this month?”

How naïve we were to think that it was us navigating the helm of this subject matter? How arrogant was it of us to believe that we had some authority or command of knowledge about this topic?

Little did we know that this month’s theme would render ourselves speechless, lacking the very words that we thought we wielded with such ease and skill. Being left wordless over such a seemingly benign topic such as friendship is embarrassing for writers, even amateur ones like us, with day jobs so far removed from our shared love of the written word.

Yet, God had completely different plans for this month and for these writers.


Yes, this month has been a period of unhinged soul-searching for us. We have questioned God and cried over lost and toxic friendships; we have repented with remorse over destroyed and damaged friendships; and, we continue to celebrate the friendships that dare to challenge and defy us to move beyond our comfort zones—even if such friendships only existed for a short season in time.

Amidst the flooding of these bittersweet memories of our friends, many of which are painful and raw with emotion, comes conviction. Conviction to become a better friend. Conviction to become a friend like Jesus. With this conviction, comes revelation. Revelation on how to become a better friend. Revelation on how to become a friend like Jesus.


Yesterday, we were writers, writing often for our own vanity and self-promotion, relying very much on our own insight and inspiration.

Today, we are still the same writers, with many of the same flaws, baggage and insecurities we held in the past. However, today we write with a bit more revelation and a slight glimpse into our purpose for writing: to show God’s relentless, unending and passionate love and friendship towards His children.

With this revelation, we are no longer just writers aiming our pens towards some particular demographic or subset of women. Today, we realize that we are writers who have also been called to be prayer warriors and intercessors on behalf of our readers.

Today we unveil our Prayer Requests page, where you can leave a prayer request and know resolutely that there are three of your friends who are on their hands and knees agreeing for you to hear God, feel God and know God in your daily walk.

While we may never meet in person, and while we may never know your real name, know that God has given you friends here at FemmeFuel who have your spiritual back, so to speak. Whatever you are facing, know that we are your friends who will call the Lord into remembrance over your plight, your need or your struggle.

Show us the areas of your life where you are in need of prayer and healing. Let us be that person in your life who stands with you in love and friendship.

You don’t have to go on this faith journey alone when you have friends.

Teach us how to be a better friend to you.

Teach us how to be a friend like Christ.

Teach us about you.