The Real Meaning of Love

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By Bindu Adai Mathew

Love. The world defines love as an emotion…a feeling. From fairy tales to Hollywood love stories, we are taught from childhood through adulthood that love is this intense, electric emotion that consumes us and sends us to the stratosphere, robbing of us all sense and thought .

The Bible, however, defines love differently:  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7.

We have all probably heard these verses multiple times in our life…and more often than not, they are read at weddings. However, it probably wasn’t until I was married myself that I truly understood what those verses meant.  The first time he squeezed the toothpaste from the middle instead of the end? (Sigh) The first time he left the toilet seat up?  (Head shake) The first time he stayed up late after I meticulously cleaned the kitchen and went to sleep,  only for me to wake up in the morning to find random dishes, glasses, frozen food and chips wrappings, crumbs, etc. strewn across the kitchen counter and living room table? (Steam coming out of my ears) During those early years, I found it very difficult to be loving at times. Loving=patience=forgiveness…neither of which I was good at. But thank God, even when I wasn’t acting very loving, my husband continued to love on me.

Love, I’ve come to realize over the years, is not just a feeling…it is an action. Forgive. Sacrifice. Protect. Trust. All actions that God has done for us: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13.

As always, Jesus is our example. He loved us so much that he sacrificed his life so we can a chance at eternity in heaven. He loved us so much that even in the midst of intense suffering and pain at our hands, He said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” Luke 23:34.

Wow. Sacrifice. Forgiveness. Love.

Love

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz, LoveLeave a comment

Love is the greatest gift of all.  It is not a song; it is not the month of February.  It is not a box of chocolates – – although it can feel like a very good substitute sometimes.  It is the whispers of the Spirit.  It is the calming of the heart.  It is the promise of rest and joy.  It is the belief that everything will be okay.  And, not on account of your strength or commitment to good.  But, His.

Love, to me, is a God that never sleeps.  A God that never rests.  A God that is always there working my greater good.  A God that knows me.  A God that always delivers me, provides for me.  A God that is so big and so full and so deep that my greatest worry, my greatest burden, is already in His back pocket.

Love is a God that speaks in all seasons.  A God that spends a lifetime helping you to be who you really are.  A God that already knows every word you will speak to Him and already knows every word He will ever speak to you.  A God that holds your freedom in highest regard.  A God that walks you through every tear, every cry, every hard question you post in His direction.

Our God is a God of love.  And as I toil in my work and in my family and in my relationships.  He says to me “Live, my child, while I take care of the rest.”  And, when He says that, my understanding of His love winds deeper and clearer and stronger because I believe Him.

Knowing Him and Him knowing me are the greatest markers of love I will ever know.  And the longer I know Him, the more I know of love.  And the more I know of love, the more I believe I am free to live, and to the fullest.  Without any thought or concern for the outcome.  Because the end is His.  And He is perfect.  To love.

Hallelujah, hallelujah

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By JMathis

It’s one of those times where worship at church has stayed with me throughout the days that have followed. Paul Baloche’s What Can I Do permeates my thoughts today, and is hitting me close to the core.

What can I do but thank you

What can I do but give my life to You

Hallelujah, hallelujah

What can I do but praise you

Everyday make everything I do a hallelujah

A hallelujah, hallelujah

I keep grazing over, “Everyday make everything I do a hallelujah.” How does one go about doing that exactly? How can I look back at 2013 and emphatically say that everything I did this past year was a “hallelujah”—a praise to my Father?

One word: Jesus.

Looking at His life here on this earth, we can see how every word He spoke, every person He delivered and how every life He changed was simply put, a Hallelujah, to His Father. The Father said as such in Matthew 3:17, “And a voice from heaven said, This is my Son, whom I love, with whom I am well pleased.”

Living like Jesus is how we make everything a hallelujah. Year after year, that should be our one and only resolution. Period.

Living in love. Living in truth. Living in the knowledge and the revelation that Jesus alone saves, heals and delivers. Living all of that OUT LOUD for all to see.

Instead, we (myself included) all jump on the societal bandwagon, and put fitness goals and other vacuous desires ahead of our Father’s interests.

Everything else takes priority, and He gets short shrift.

How often is our new year’s resolution to become closer with Christ? To hear His voice? To seek Him to the point where we forsake all other vain pursuits?

Keeping up with the Kardashians, instead of keeping up with our Savior.

When we put our Father’s work first, we honor Him. When we get down to the business of saving lives, we praise Him and acknowledge that He is the only source of hope, salvation and deliverance.

I fear that for my whole life, I have put barrier after barrier ahead of seeking Him first. Even after He promised me, “Seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you”.

What happens when you seek “these things” (boys, looks, fame, success) first, rather than the “kingdom of God”?

Heartache, body issues, disappointment and feelings of failure.

Where are the hallelujahs at that point? When we are so mired in pain, it feels too heavy, too hard to praise Him.

While it’s never too late to scream “hallelujah” when things are falling apart, couldn’t some of this pain have been avoided, if we had just made everything a hallelujah to begin with, at the very start?

Make everything you do a hallelujah. Make everything you do about the kingdom of God.

Even when there are tears, even when there is rejection, this year and every year, make everything you do all about Jesus.

Hallelujah, hallelujah.

He saves, He lives, He’s yours.

Hallelujah, hallelujah.

One Year Ago…

On By femmefuelIn FemmeFeatures by Bindu Adai-Mathew, January 2013Leave a comment

By Bindu Adai Mathew

One year ago, I was dreading the new year. My heart was full of stress as I sat on pins and needles as I worried whether my job would be affected by a merger my company underwent a few months before. My manager had already left, along with two other co-workers.

And then one month later, I got the dreaded news. As I feared, I was part of the “synergy” (a fancy word for layoff) that was a direct result of larger international company buying our already substantial national company. My role was deemed redundant, the VP informed me, and while he hated to let me go, he had little choice.

I began the dreaded job search with a heavy heart. As much as I tried to be positive, it wasn’t an easy time. But I had hope…because I had God’s promise that He could turn any situation around, even one that initially looked negative, to thrust me forward. I recall telling a co-worker that something good, even better was going to come out of this situation. While I truly believed that, I honestly didn’t always feel that in the weeks to come. Some days were hard and discouraging while other days, I just stood on God’s promise that He could bless me with an even better job.

And sure enough, that is exactly what He did. Just as my other job was coming to an end, I was offered a position with a much better company…one nationally ranked by Forbes magazine as “One of the Best Companies to Work For.” That meant an increase in salary as well as 100% of my insurance covered. Yep, even now, months later, I am amazed. Only God could have done that because I know those were doors I myself could never have pushed open. But that is the God we serve, my friends. A faithful, merciful, loving God. So whatever you’re facing today, remember that God can change your situation around, no matter how impossible or negative the situation appears to be. And one hour, one week, one month, or even one year from now, you may be looking back at your own life, in awe of where God has brought you.

This is the LORD’s doing, and it is wonderful to see. Psalms 118:23

On the Side of Impossible

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFeatures by Sasha Katz, FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz, January 2013Leave a comment

At the turn of the new year, most of us are ready to change in some way. Ready to turn over a new leaf or at least rev up a part of our lives that has been sitting quiet for too long. Depending on what you feel led to change, you are either very excited or very hesitant about the upcoming days and weeks. Will you really get up at 5:30am to ___________________________? Will you really stick to your new budget or to your healthy meal plan? Digging deeper, will you really keep a prayer journal and really pray for the people and things God puts on your heart?

For me, I am very excited about putting into action a few financial changes. I know I can stick to a healthy meal with some time carved out for preparations. When I dig deep, I feel compelled to pray daily for the things God cares about inside and outside my world. I feel like it is good for me to seek and grasp onto biblical devotions from men and women around the world. I think it is time for me to serve His suffering children around the world. And the truth is, for all my new year excitement, it will probably be tough getting up before 6am.

If you haven’t thought about any changes for the new year, you probably are experiencing something new or intense in your life and the larger picture can’t inch into your life right now. I’ve been there and I would say that asking yourself a few real questions will send you in the right direction. Like what does God want from me right now? God, what are you saying to me right now or through these circumstances? He knows the intensity of your situation and what you are going through. He is faithful to speak one or two powerful words into your day — and will continue to move and grow with you until you walk out onto the other side.

Among all these things I am hoping for, planning for and looking forward to, a few truths come to mind. I can do nothing without Christ. I have been to enough sad or sinful places outside His loving arms to know that nothing in the new year will come to pass without His will, strength and guidance in the center of it. This truth has been seeping into my heart and life for sometime. However, God has challenged my thinking with yet another truth: God can do impossible things and I should ask Him for those impossible things. I don’t know exactly what my impossible is, but I want to be a part of ending trafficking, starvation and disease around the world. I want to be a part of other’s salvation and growth. I want to be where God wants me to be all of the time. I want my heart to be like His every breathing moment of my life.

I know many of these things are an impossibility in our humanity. But I know this is where He wants me to be. And whatever remains impossible in this life will be perfected in eternity. I think this is the hope we all seek after. I think this is the truth that allows us to seek change and growth and great things … knowing all along that humanity won’t be as it should until Jesus comes. And, as unlikely as heaven may appear to the pessimist, or as irrational as it may appear to the nonbeliever, it is this hope that brings about personal change and lofty aspirations. Both impossible without Jesus and hope for heaven. These are truths we can live by. With all these things in mind, I will see you on the side of impossible — as I am starting to believe, there is no other better place to be.

Possible

Go Big or Go Home

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By JMathis

In the past, my resolutions centered around developing the skill and discipline to embark upon BIG things. Baby steps, right? Get a gym membership, get in shape, and THEN sign up for a half marathon. Once I get in shape, I will endeavor to become graceful and dainty, so THEN I will be able to sign up for ice skating lessons.

On Saturday, I signed up for ice skating lessons. On Sunday, I signed up for a half marathon.

Hooray for me! All of that skill and discipline have finally paid off and I am the person I have always wanted to be!!

Except that I’m not.

I’m nowhere near the shape I want to be in to conquer even the first mile of a half marathon, and I nearly sliced my head off this weekend after getting onto the rink for the first time in 10 years.

Some may call it Conquering Your Fears, some may call it Setting Goals.

I call it Madness. The Year of Wild Faith. The year of living like I already possess the characteristics I need to take on the world. The year of stepping out in faith, and just being that person I have always wanted to be.

Some may characterize it as Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying, or Go Big or Go Home.

I prefer to view it as the year of radically and unconditionally trusting God, and knowing that He continues to keep me securely in the palm of His hand. Despite my failures. Despite my mistakes. Despite myself.

I look back and find that much of my life is living in hesitation. Living in waiting. Living in a constant state of preparation. Living in fear that I’m not capable of doing certain things. Living in the gray.

Constantly putting out fleeces and waiting for signs that I’m ready for battle.

I have to be reminded that the battle is His, not mine. He has already won, and the enemy has been defeated. He didn’t die for me so that I can be riddled with self-doubt and the fear of failure.

So, what are we waiting for?

It’s the year of BIG things. The year of climbing your Mount Everest.

You’re probably not ready. You’re probably not prepared, and you’re probably so terrified, you may want to consider investing in adult diapers.

But it’s time for you and me to stop thinking. No more over-analyzing and weighing the costs.  We’re not going to talk ourselves right back to second best.

After all, God didn’t wait to love us after we cleaned up our act. He loved us while we were sinners. While we continued hurting Him. While we continued to destroy ourselves. He radically and unconditionally loves us, even if the outcome is that we reject Him and turn our backs against Him.

He is all about Go Big or Go Home,

Now, it’s our turn.

A New Year’s Resolution Resolved!

On By femmefuelIn Best of Bindu Adai-Mathew, FemmeFeatures by Bindu Adai-Mathew, FemmeFuel by Bindu Adai-Mathew, January 20133 Comments

By Bindu Adai Mathew

So one of my previous New Year’s resolutions (I just won’t admit to which year that was!) has been to publish. Well, truthfully, it goes beyond just being a yearly resolution but something I’ve always “dreamed” of doing.

Well, this is the year! My memoir “38 Candles” has been published to Amazon!

http://www.amazon.com/38-Candles-ebook/dp/B00AOY0RNC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1357043233&sr=8-1&keywords=38+Candles

And I’d like to share the first chapter with you…

Chapter 1:  The Birthday Candles

The flames of 38 candles dance in front of me, flickering and twisting. The happy, smiling faces of my husband and Ava, my one-year old daughter, look on as they eagerly wait for me to make my wish and blow out the candles. I stare mindlessly at the candles, each a marker of a year in my life. So many candles! Are there really 38 candles on that cake? Is it even possible that I have celebrated that many birthdays?

I close my eyes momentarily, silently making my not-so-secret wish, and then breathe in deeply, filling my lungs with air. I manage to blow out all the candles (except a few) as my husband claps. Ava, sensing the excitement, quickly joins in, her tiny hands clapping enthusiastically…and my husband and I both momentarily pause, sharing a look and a smile, as we both marvel at how together we have created such a beautiful, perfect being.

After gorging on the vanilla cake with too much buttercream icing, my husband puts Ava to bed for her afternoon nap while I clean up. As I put the dishes away and wipe down the counter, I gaze at the cake, again troubled by the sheer number of candles on it. It truly seems unfathomable. In a feeble attempt to reassure myself that I have truly celebrated 38 birthdays, as I remove each candle, I quickly attempt to recall what I did for each birthday. Some birthdays 1…2…3…4 are probably forever lost in my childhood subconscious…5 was my first birthday in America, having emigrated from India just a few months earlier. I remember it vividly, probably due to all the pictures taken by my parents. Birthdays 6…7…8…9…10…11 are all a blur, and 12 was my first and only real birthday party with all my friends from school. It was also the year my mom told me that it would be my last birthday celebration. She patted her burgeoning stomach, reminding me that at twelve years old, I was about to be a big sister and far too old now to be having birthday parties…13…14…15…16…17…18 were probably all small family celebrations with a simple homemade birthday cake after dinner…19 was when my college suitemates surprised me with cake and a song at the end of the night after I was convinced they had all forgotten…20 was uneventful as well with nothing more than good wishes from all my friends. My 21st birthday was when my roommate and I watched The Age of Innocence starring Winona Ryder and Daniel Day-Lewis. At that time, it was much more appealing than celebrating it at a bar or a club. I ushered in my 22nd with friends having dinner and planning our life milestones (Meet my future husband at 24, get married by 25, and have kids by 27—I had it all planned!). My 23rd birthday was another evening spent hanging out with friends, followed by a lecture the next day from my dad about the fact that I was getting older and should consider going to India to look for a husband since I wasn’t finding one in the U.S. Birthday number 24 was spent with friends, discussing why Mr. Right still hadn’t shown up in any of our lives and how even my trip to India a few months earlier, which I dubbed as Husband Search #1, had been unsuccessful…25 was spent tweaking my life timeline (Okay, meet my future husband by age 24 26, get married by 25 27, have kids by 27 29.). It was also my first birthday in grad school and I spent it alone…26 was when my grad school friends threw me my first real surprise party…27 was spent with friends again, followed by another talking-to the next day from my dad on how time was running out and I needed to get married ASAP and should consider going to India again….28 was spent with friends, moping about still being single. After another unsuccessful trip to India a few months earlier (Husband Search #2), which almost resulted in marriage (another long story), I came back alone, this time vowing never to go back to India just to look for a husband…29 was spent recovering from another disappointing setup, followed by a cathartic shredding of the paper that detailed the dates I would be married, have kids, etc.,…30 was my amazing trip to Italy as I celebrated the “fabulousness” of my single life. It was my “I don’t need a man” trip…31 was spent busily planning my wedding (I met my husband just four months after my “I don’t need a man” trip to Italy)…32 was my first birthday after marriage where I had a surprise full course breakfast in bed…33 was lunch at Chili’s with hubby…34 was lunch again with just my hubby at Islamorada…35 was my second real surprise party, thrown by my hubby, followed by a weekend trip to Naples, Florida, in an ocean-front suite at the Ritz Carlton…36 was spent in a cozy hotel room overlooking Niagara Falls with subzero temperatures outside…37 was spent recouping at home with my mom and enjoying the birth of Ava just the week before…and now, I was 38!

38.

38…38…38…The numbers echo in my head like the rhythmic chiming of a grandfather clock.

38.

Just twelve years from 50. I cringe inwardly as I also realize that I am now officially closer to 50 than to 25.

The irony of it is that to twenty-somethings and teens, I am “old,” an almost forty-something in their eyes. But to the forty-somethings and older people, I am still relatively young, a summer chicken (as opposed to a spring chicken) with her whole life still in front of her.

As for me, I still look at myself and life through a twenty-something’s eye.

But it’s not the number that haunts me…well, at least not just the number, for it is a reminder—not only of what I’ve done each year of my 38 years – but more important, it is a reminder of what I’ve not done.

I think of the career woman I am not. The career ladder I never quite climbed. The six-figure income that I’m still shy of…and worst of all, that deep sinking feeling that at 38 years old, I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

I think of the one argument my husband and I have had over and over again about his desire for me to go back to college to get a different master’s degree, something that I have been determined to put off until I figure out what I am meant to do with my life.

Most of all, I think of the 400-plus-page manuscript stored on my computer hard drive, the one that I finally completed after 10 years of just talking about how I wanted to write a novel. After years of procrastination, a lack of discipline, and countless distractions, I knew the time had come to just do it. So finally, using every spare moment on weekends and evenings, I finally made time to write the novel I had always known I was meant to write, certain I was destined to be on the New York Times bestseller list. I completed it just before Ava was born. But now that same novel, post rejection by several agents, remains untouched on my computer hard drive, on the brink of being shelved and forgotten somewhere in cyberspace.

38.

For the rest of the day and into the night, the number hangs over me like a black cloud. It rings in my head over and over again, like a death knell, reminding me that time is running out.