In the past, my resolutions centered around developing the skill and discipline to embark upon BIG things. Baby steps, right? Get a gym membership, get in shape, and THEN sign up for a half marathon. Once I get in shape, I will endeavor to become graceful and dainty, so THEN I will be able to sign up for ice skating lessons.
On Saturday, I signed up for ice skating lessons. On Sunday, I signed up for a half marathon.
Hooray for me! All of that skill and discipline have finally paid off and I am the person I have always wanted to be!!
Except that I’m not.
I’m nowhere near the shape I want to be in to conquer even the first mile of a half marathon, and I nearly sliced my head off this weekend after getting onto the rink for the first time in 10 years.
Some may call it Conquering Your Fears, some may call it Setting Goals.
I call it Madness. The Year of Wild Faith. The year of living like I already possess the characteristics I need to take on the world. The year of stepping out in faith, and just being that person I have always wanted to be.
Some may characterize it as Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying, or Go Big or Go Home.
I prefer to view it as the year of radically and unconditionally trusting God, and knowing that He continues to keep me securely in the palm of His hand. Despite my failures. Despite my mistakes. Despite myself.
I look back and find that much of my life is living in hesitation. Living in waiting. Living in a constant state of preparation. Living in fear that I’m not capable of doing certain things. Living in the gray.
Constantly putting out fleeces and waiting for signs that I’m ready for battle.
I have to be reminded that the battle is His, not mine. He has already won, and the enemy has been defeated. He didn’t die for me so that I can be riddled with self-doubt and the fear of failure.
So, what are we waiting for?
It’s the year of BIG things. The year of climbing your Mount Everest.
You’re probably not ready. You’re probably not prepared, and you’re probably so terrified, you may want to consider investing in adult diapers.
But it’s time for you and me to stop thinking. No more over-analyzing and weighing the costs. We’re not going to talk ourselves right back to second best.
After all, God didn’t wait to love us after we cleaned up our act. He loved us while we were sinners. While we continued hurting Him. While we continued to destroy ourselves. He radically and unconditionally loves us, even if the outcome is that we reject Him and turn our backs against Him.
He is all about Go Big or Go Home,
Now, it’s our turn.