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Counseling Sessions with God

On By femmefuelIn Uncategorized1 Comment

By JMathis

God and I have been in counseling for the past six weeks.

After all of this therapy, I can say that the relationship’s fallout was not a two-way street, but rather a clear case of, “It’s not you; it’s me.”

You see, I have been experiencing real difficulty in praying to God. It was getting to the point of where I never wanted to spend quality time alone with Him anymore.

Strangely enough, on the surface, it seemed like I spoke with Him quite a great deal.

I would wake up in the morning, say a prayer of protection with my daughter before beginning our day. I would say a prayer of strength before heading into my morning meeting. I would say a prayer of thanks for when the meeting concluded on a high note. I would say a prayer of blessing over my lunch. I would remember to say a prayer of encouragement for a hurting friend, or a prayer of healing for a sick relative. I would then end the day with my husband, where we said a prayer of praise to God for the bounty and miracles that took place that day.

It all sounded so good on paper.  

Except that I had lost passion for Him.

I had lost the desire to speak with Him. I had lost the joy in knowing Him.

I had lost intimacy with Him.

We were in a functioning marriage, but one where I didn’t feel like getting to know Him anymore.

I was treating Him like a roommate, and not a confidante.

I became very good at Please Pass The Salt, Thanks for Picking Up My Dry Cleaning, Here’s a New Grocery List and Don’t Forget to Pay the Rent, but little else.

I had forgotten that He was my Creator (“You made this entire universe just for me?“). I had forgotten that He was my Deliverer (“You set me free from generations of family curses?“). I had forgotten that He was my Rescuer (“You rescued me from a lifetime of bad decisions and poor choices?“). I had forgotten that He was my Savior (“You saved me from the consequences of my sin and the punishment of eternity in Hell?“).  

Most of all, I had forgotten that He was my Father, Brother and Closest Friend.

I had forgotten that the Bible was one, long love story written specifically to me.

(“You love me HOW much?“)

On a whim, I decided to enroll in a six-week Bible study on how to pray to God. I even rolled my eyes a bit when I registered, because I, Of Course, Already Knew How to Pray to God. What more could I possibly learn? At least it would be an opportunity to make  some new friends.

Six weeks later, I am a blubbering mess.

Sobbing repentantly in the car. Red-eyed and snotty-nosed over how I had mistreated Him. Wide awake about thoughts of how I can become even closer to Him.   

I had taken Him for granted. I had been unfaithful. Yet there He remained in my adultery: constant, faithful, unchanging and simply just waiting. Just waiting for me to get a clue.

I had forgotten all about My True Love and now I have found Him. Again.

Thank You, Lord, for a Second Chance. A Third Chance. A Seven Hundred and Sixty-Fifth Chance. For chances that number far higher than the stars above.

What a difference six weeks can make.

Are you ready for another chance at love?

I know I am.

2012

On By femmefuelIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

I have a confession to make. For probably the first time in my life, I was not looking forward to the new year. Typically each year, like to many people, symbolizes a new beginning for me…a renewed interest in my life, my dreams, a time for change—good change. This year, however, 2012 represented a continuation of the same old, same old. Same job instability (company announced a merger last year and I’m still unsure about my future at my company), same motherhood stresses (over the weekend, my daughter came down with yet another cold), same financial worries , same everything. To be honest, I felt so overwhelmed with the stresses of the latter part of 2011, that 2012 was as appealing  as a plate of fried liver.

But as the new year started, it hasn’t been that bad. Yes, I’m still wondering if I will be part of the efforts of my company to create “synergy”  (that’s a fancy word they keep using for layoff) between the new and old companies. Yes, my daughter got yet another cold from daycare (not bad in and of itself, but now my daughter’s smile resembles a hockey player ‘s after an accident resulted in the loss of two teeth last October and a common cold back in December quickly evolved into an ear infection and pneumonia.)    Life is hard, isn’t it, and the travails of motherhood and life are nothing to scoff at!    But, I was reminded in my quiet time, we still serve a Mighty God! The same God who created this universe. The same God who parted the Red Sea. The same God who defeated the enemy of His people over and over again. That same God can change my circumstances in an instant. That same God often allows these struggles in our lives to build character and perseverance in our hearts.

Lord, thank you for reminding me that you are still on the throne. Thank you for reminding me that I don’t have to be overwhelmed by Life, but that You will provide me with the ability to get through my challenges. Let me hide under the majesty of your wings. Let me rest there in my hiding place and just be…with You.

And let that not only be my new year’s resolution but my Life’s resolution.