God and I have been in counseling for the past six weeks.
After all of this therapy, I can say that the relationship’s fallout was not a two-way street, but rather a clear case of, “It’s not you; it’s me.”
You see, I have been experiencing real difficulty in praying to God. It was getting to the point of where I never wanted to spend quality time alone with Him anymore.
Strangely enough, on the surface, it seemed like I spoke with Him quite a great deal.
I would wake up in the morning, say a prayer of protection with my daughter before beginning our day. I would say a prayer of strength before heading into my morning meeting. I would say a prayer of thanks for when the meeting concluded on a high note. I would say a prayer of blessing over my lunch. I would remember to say a prayer of encouragement for a hurting friend, or a prayer of healing for a sick relative. I would then end the day with my husband, where we said a prayer of praise to God for the bounty and miracles that took place that day.
It all sounded so good on paper.
Except that I had lost passion for Him.
I had lost the desire to speak with Him. I had lost the joy in knowing Him.
I had lost intimacy with Him.
We were in a functioning marriage, but one where I didn’t feel like getting to know Him anymore.
I was treating Him like a roommate, and not a confidante.
I became very good at Please Pass The Salt, Thanks for Picking Up My Dry Cleaning, Here’s a New Grocery List and Don’t Forget to Pay the Rent, but little else.
I had forgotten that He was my Creator (“You made this entire universe just for me?“). I had forgotten that He was my Deliverer (“You set me free from generations of family curses?“). I had forgotten that He was my Rescuer (“You rescued me from a lifetime of bad decisions and poor choices?“). I had forgotten that He was my Savior (“You saved me from the consequences of my sin and the punishment of eternity in Hell?“).
Most of all, I had forgotten that He was my Father, Brother and Closest Friend.
I had forgotten that the Bible was one, long love story written specifically to me.
(“You love me HOW much?“)
On a whim, I decided to enroll in a six-week Bible study on how to pray to God. I even rolled my eyes a bit when I registered, because I, Of Course, Already Knew How to Pray to God. What more could I possibly learn? At least it would be an opportunity to make some new friends.
Six weeks later, I am a blubbering mess.
Sobbing repentantly in the car. Red-eyed and snotty-nosed over how I had mistreated Him. Wide awake about thoughts of how I can become even closer to Him.
I had taken Him for granted. I had been unfaithful. Yet there He remained in my adultery: constant, faithful, unchanging and simply just waiting. Just waiting for me to get a clue.
I had forgotten all about My True Love and now I have found Him. Again.
Thank You, Lord, for a Second Chance. A Third Chance. A Seven Hundred and Sixty-Fifth Chance. For chances that number far higher than the stars above.
What a difference six weeks can make.
Are you ready for another chance at love?
I know I am.
One thought on “Counseling Sessions with God”
It is so easy to forget we are married to Him in the most pure way. In our relationship with God, we fall into the same slumps as our earthly marriages. I thank Him for His perfection and for His understanding of our humanness. Insightful and deep JMathis.