Category: FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz

James has swept me away . . .

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For the last year or so, I have been swept away by the book of James. I am trying to put my finger on why I am taken with the man and the book for some time now. Do I have a crush on James? Maybe, but it goes way deeper than that. I have a feeling in my heart when I think about James’ leadership at the Jerusalem Council in the early days of the church. I think about how he put together some simple rules for the newly saved Gentiles rather than bury them with Jewish law. The ability to execute decision making with great wisdom and fairness is commendable. That is probably one reason why James was known as James the Just. If there is an admiration scale in me, I think wisdom and fairness tips the scale; of course, in favor of James and my desire to learn from his life.

I think about James’ life experiences and history with his family and brother Jesus. All of this must have been working through his mind and soul as he sought to lead and feed the Jerusalem church and beyond. He had the Word on paper and he had seen the Word face to face. I am reminded that we all are capable of doing great things when we have had a face to face encounter with the Word on paper or in person.

Scholars say James had another nickname – – camel knees. I don’t really like the sound of that knobby phrase. There had to have been a better Jewish word to describe a prayerful person. In any case, James was highly regarded for his consistent prayer life. Looking forward 30 or 40 years, I hope to think that I will have put in enough time with the Lord to be remembered in such a way. I find that rather challenging when I think about the day to day tasks of getting up, making lunch, getting out the door. The daily challenges that scrape away at the precious minutes we have under the sun. The frustrations of what is and isn’t and how long until. We are all living in an opportunity to seek the Lord at all costs. To intelligently and intentionally push through the grind to the matters of the heart. The things that really matter to the Lord.

Because really, I think it is the heart of James that has swept me away. It is the heart of a brother that had a remarkable encounter with the resurrected Lord and never looked back, not once. My heart can’t travel past that. I am swimming in the revelation. If you think you might be taken by James as well, take a look below. I am going to hunt for the Jesus in James until my heart is quenched. For now, I just can’t get enough.

Pastor Bob Coy’s sermon on February 2, 2014
Pastor Mark Driscoll’s sermon James: Jesus’ Bold Little Brother
Beth Moore’s bible study, Mercy Triumphs

Flinching at God

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We all know what it is like to physically flinch. After 911, I flinched when I saw the first airplane in the sky after the attach. I flinched for a few months at turning cars after my mom and I had a bad car accident on an out-of-state trip in a rental car. And, I will forever flinch if I think you are throwing a bug or lizard at me (childhood scars). But, until recently, I never thought about flinching at God.

I look back at the last several years and can remember a list of events that were painful. I think about my dad suffering from and fighting for his life against cancer. I think about some really empty times in my marriage. Money problems. Professional anxiety. I am not talking about our day-to-day pressure. I mean the very hard stuff. The kind that happens to you, rather than something in the news or something far away.

There is no doubt in my mind that God has brought me through each and every dark place. I mean that – – the dark places where, if you don’t quickly realize, it’s you and God, you’ll sink. You can make a move to cling to Him, trust Him and hold His hand through varieties of earthly hell. Or, you can make a move to sink without Him. My doubt and emptiness has often been big, but God has always been bigger. My problems have appeared without resolution or hopeless, but God has never left things that way. My sorrow has taken on forms of depression, but God always delivered me.

One would think that with all the hand holding and carrying God has done for me; with all the deliverance; with all the spiritual victory; that I would not flinch at God. As the new year approached with all of the unknown ahead, I sought God for His plan for 2014. And, before I could get the plan fully down on paper, I started to flinch. Many thoughts crossed my heart. There is the chance that I will write this God directed plan and it could fail. I would hate that kind of failure. Flinch. There is the chance that God will bring me to accomplish this beautiful plan, but what if it can’t be accomplished without pain. Big flinch. Are we going to do a repeat of last year God? Because I will definitely flinch if we replicate February through May of 2013. And, frankly, some of the summer stunk too.

The truth is that I would do February through May of last year eight times over just turn learn the lessons He taught me over that time line. The truth is that it’s Satan that encourages the spiritual flinch. Our God is calling us to wherever He leads. The unknown is good when it is in His hands. I am over my flinching for now. I like idea of going where He goes, whatever the cost.

The Lord is My Shepherd

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It is so sweet to think of the ways the Lord is a shepherd to us. I followed the lead of James McDonald’s weekly devotion and started to list the ways he leads, protects and feeds us, just like a good shepherd. I am always so impressed with the way the Lord leads. Do you ever have the experience of needing to make a decision that you can’t put your finger on just yet? You’re contemplating, but nothing really seems best. Whether it’s the next hour or a few days later, a direction is brought to light or a path seems available that you never could have thought up on your own? The thought in your mind is perfect, but you know it is not your own. That’s my measure for when it is the Lord. I am sure it is the Lord when the thought resolving my indecision is other-worldly; impossible to be thought up by me, but truly perfect. He leads in the most magnificent ways.

With respect to His quality as a protector, I am very intrigued by what I cannot see. I am intrigued by the power of Christ. I think about what the Lord allows and disallows in my life even in one twenty-four hour period. I can’t even imagine what He protects each one of us from as we walk through our day. I remember years ago spinning off the expressway into the median in rush hour traffic. I stepped out of my car shaking like a leaf. Two people pulled over to help me. One turned out to be a sister in Christ. She was perplexed that my car spun through two lanes and landed in the median backwards without being hit. She said to me as I shook, “Are you a believer in God?” Still shaking, I nodded yes. She replied, “Sister in Christ, stop shaking. You are okay.” The other man who pulled over was an off duty EMT who held back the traffic so I could get back in the traffic. A few weeks later I found out that I was pregnant when this took place. He is a protector. This is His invisible power. We won’t know all of the details until we can take a look from the other side, but I marvel even now at His power and protection over our lives.

The Father also feeds us. I have heard Beth Moore say that she believes this is an extraordinary time where regular people like you and me have access to studies and devotions and teachers to know the word of God like no other generation. This is so true. We have an abundance of truth at our fingertips, literally. He has given us the opportunity to be permeated with good teaching, to learn like a scholar, to think like a disciple. I pray that I don’t get lackadaisical about what is available to me. I pray that I stay hungry and feed on the goodness of His word.

Peter The Wise

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I have always been drawn to Matthew and Paul in the New Testament books. Peter’s life has been a mystery to me. Somehow, Peter’s post-resurrection ministry drew me a blank. Peter’s life work just never crossed my mind. Having read his two books recently, I am starting to get a flavor for Peter. He has some rather smart things to say.

When I read Peter say, . . . cast[ing] all your care upon Him, for He cares for you (1 Peter 5:6-7), I thought about what it might really mean to cast all of your cares upon Him. All is a lot and covers everything. My nature is to reserve a lot of my cares. Do others really have emotional time to hear some or even all of my concerns? Really, each of us has our own cares and concerns . . . and that can be heavy and burdensome in and of itself. I try reserve my requests to the truly necessary. There may be some value in that – – as long as one remains transparent and genuine. But, reserving from the Lord? Peter is telling us to cast all upon Him. And, it’s not because He’s a magician or an enabler, it’s because He cares for us.

Think about the people in your life who care for you most. Hopefully, you can name one or two people who will lend their ear and heart to you when you are full of anxiety and concern. These few are sometimes like a life line turning you to the direction of the Lord and speaking peace into your anxiety. But even these select few who love you dearly can’t bear it all, all of the time. God is willing to take it all, all of the time, because He cares for you.

Peter brought to my mind the true nature of God. Just how good and pure He is. That He is able and desires to receive all of our cares and anxiety on account of His great love. He doesn’t have His own concerns trumping ours, He is not tired or worn out. He is not busy attending to His other children. His nature, made of pure love, asks us to cast our cares and anxieties upon Him. I am moved by that. I hope you are also moved to cast all upon Him.

I can only think that Peter must have known the faithfulness of God because he cast his cares upon God. Although I am learning now about Peter’s life work, I do remember that Peter the disciple sunk when He took his eyes off Jesus. I remember that he wrongly cut off the soldier’s ear. I remember how bold and then how sorrowful he was over his words time and time again. I can only think that Peter cast his cares upon the Lord; and, in his deep anxieties, Peter was received by the Lord. Because God cared for Him. I am moved by that. I hope that you are too.

Every Morning, You Have A Choice

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz, September 2013Leave a comment

“Every morning you have a choice,” she said. “I tell him that when we are having a bad morning.” “It doesn’t have to be this way, you can choose to be happy.” She said.

This is what my sister in law told me over a long dinner conversation. This is what she tells her husband when he is angry, grumpy, depressed or annoyed – -and starting off the day poorly. While I do not know where my sister in law is with the Lord, her words – – every morning you have a choice – – stayed with me. Sometimes I wake up longing for more sleep. Sometimes I wake up annoyed that I am the only one up (for no good reason). Sometimes I feel defeated before the day really begins. Sometimes I am yelling and barking orders before I even get into the car with the kids.

Even though I spend the first 10 or 15 minutes of my day with the Lord, I still am sometimes susceptible to becoming frustrated or loud so early in the day. I actually feel pretty justified a lot of the time. In the heat of my tired, annoyed, defeated self, I feel entitled to bark and whine. But I have a choice.

My choice is to gather my strength from Him. To take my tired, annoyed, defeated self and recall that He knows. He knows my needs before I can utter them. Before I can articulate them. Before I can pray them. Sometimes, He has answered them before I can use my efforts to ask Him. He knows my self. My strength and weaknesses. He knows when I need a loving touch of the shoulder or some fire and brimstone to get me moving in the right direction. He just knows.

I really believe in my heart of hearts that He has paved a path before me. This is a long, life encompassing path, but it is also a daily pathway. There is a path from the opening of my eyes to the start of the engine with my kids in the morning. To the office. Back to school for pick up and home again. And, on and on. Although we do not literally see the path, it is there to follow. The path has clear explicit instructions so that we can take off tired, annoyed and defeated and walk peacefully and confidently in Him.

I like the reminder that every day we have a choice. I like that I can choose Him. God, help us choose You in the dawn and in the dusk and in every waking hour. Help us with our faith that You will pave the way throughout our day, and even in our sleep. Help us choose knowing deep in our souls that You first chose us. And, although we sometimes fight with our own tired, annoyed and defeated selves, we can always stop in our tracks, and choose You.

Do Not Worry

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz, September 2013Leave a comment

There are so many reasons to stop and worry. It is that rush feeling that might wake you up in the night or very early in the morning. Or, right smack dab in the middle of the day when you may thing everything is going alright. Usually following that first rush of worry is a bucket list of other worries that seem to matter very much in those few minutes.

In those moments, almost immediately, my mind starts to travel to resolution of each and every worrisome thought that has come to mind. I put out quickly the small flames. I move onto the medium sized blazes and work those out on paper. But there are bigger fires.

These are the fires that strike fear in me. The fear flashes while I simultaneously search for ground. I search for the ground beneath my feet and the hand that holds my world together. In those first moments of potential raging fire, I think to the Lord. God, I am afraid. Where do you want me to be right now? I want to move from this space to your space, God. You have my full attention. Talk to me. Tell me how to get from fear and uncertainty to where you want me to be. He speaks and I breathe.

I really only say this to you today because there was a pull in my heart this morning. The pull was to put a short note up for you. To simply remind you that we have a Lord that sits on the throne over all. He holds our world together. He is the Everlasting King. All rests below Him. Find His voice and breathe as he sets all in order and delivers you from each and every worry in your heart and in your mind. Do not be afraid for the Lord you God is with you. Joshua 1:9

My Rock is Not a Copy

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Sometimes I feel convinced that this world is the real thing.  I think that I have seen the best and the worst.  That I have seen the possibilities of what may, might and won’t be.  That I have seen what is repairable and what cannot be fixed.  These realities appear very finite. These realities speak to limits.  When I am convinced that the world is the real thing, reality feels heavy and physical. 

In His wise and loving way, He turns me eyes upward and directs me to His glory.  To what is real.  I am reminded that our current lives are only a copy or shadow of what is real.  What is real is the kingdom of heaven where our true selves are visible in our glorified bodies.  Where light comes from the Living God.  Permeating, reflecting and shining so that what has been unseen in the world is plainly seen through the eyes of glory.

When I see the picture of real with my spiritual eyes, it puts the mundane, disappointments and troubles of this world in their proper place.  We are now only the black and white photocopy of our favorite color picture.  We currently have a matte finish that dims the color, brightness and glimmer of His glory in us.  But it will not be that way forever.

The black and white picture brings along with it the troubles and limitations of this world.  Although it feels very real, it is not real.  The race you are now running for God will eventually come out from under a shadow; and, for those who love Him, you will come out into true, genuine light.  It is a full color light that radiates because it is connected to the authentic source.  The appearance of this picture takes my breath away.  If I ever really sought to see the outward appearance of good, it must be this picture of glory that I can only see with my spiritual eyes.

Our current life lacks the luster of what is to come.  But shining depth is coming.  The real real will have the brightness and authenticity of His glory.  If I can remember that our current life is just copy and look upward to shadowless places, I can walk on air and sleep peacefully as life rages in its ebbs and flows.  If I can know that this life is only black and white, but see color in the Spirit, I can know the abundance of His power.  I can know that my Rock is a Deliverer who is not a copy.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen.  For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which not see are eternal.  2 Corinthians 4:17.

For if He were on earth, He would not be a priest, since there are priests who offer the gifts according to the law; who serve the copy and shadow of the heavenly things, as Moses was divinely instructed when he was about to make the tabernacle. For He said, “See that you make all things according to the pattern shown you on the mountain. But now He has obtained a more excellent ministry, inasmuch as He is also Mediator of a better covenant, which was established on better promises.  Hebrews 8:4-6.