Author: femmefuel

We're modern women just like you, loving Jesus, and sharing our stories in an honest, personal and meaningful way. FemmeFuel aims to inspire, empower and provide you with the fuel you need to live out your purpose in Christ.

Cindy R. and Lynn O.

On By femmefuelIn August 2011 (Cultivating Friendships), FemmeBytes by Sasha Katz2 Comments

By AbbyA

Why is it so hard for most of us?  Even walking into a small crowd makes you feel self-conscious.  You are thinking about who you are going to talk to or if anyone will be friendly towards you.  Even when you are invited.  Even if you are all there for a common reason.  Group gatherings make me feel a little nervous.

Just this week, my sweetie girlfriend Susie D. invited me to a back to school coffee fellowship.  I was bound to know a few of the ladies.  My friend Susie D. could not have been kinder introducing me to the few who I didn’t know . . . but no one I actually knew was on the left or right of me.  That feeling . . . time to strike up conversation . . . be charming . . . smile big.  Make a friend?  Group gatherings make me feel a little nervous.

My friend Cindy R. is an extremely Godly, perfect example of being a friend.  I joined a group where I didn’t know anyone.  She grabbed me on the very first day.  Even though she already had a lot of friends in this group, she decided to get to know me.  That certainly changed everything about being part of this group.  She gave me an invisible sticker right over my heart that spells BELONG.

Just because I love the leaders and girls in this group so much, I have to say more.  At the door leading to this group, there is some sort of symbolic garbage can.  Girls throw out their pride, tendency to compete, compare or judge and put on plain old friendliness.  The girls in this group make you feel so okay, so BELONG, that on my worst day, my very worst day, God reached out to me through them.

It was one of those days where all the prayer and faith in the world can’t stop the tremor shaking your core and stealing your very well-being.  I sat in my car weeping to my mother with no hope.  I was fighting depression, my broken marriage and experiencing the kind of pressure that can pop your brain.  I walked into where my group was gathering, told a friend that I needed a friend and fell apart into 1000 pieces in her arms.  Thank you, Lynn O.

Really girls, I don’t know why it means so much to BELONG.  I don’t know why fellowship sometimes feels so scary.  But I do know that fellowship is supposed to be about joy in your sisterhood.  Even if she’s not your best friend, you can stamp her with BELONG.  You can give her the freedom to come to you when she’s falling apart.  You can be Christ to her and hold her 1000 pieces together.

As is our human custom, we get things discombobulated in our imperfection.  We confuse fellowship with the requirements for joining a sorority or becoming a member of the Ocean Reef Club.  Then we act like the elite ladies in the dining room of the Titanic and give the cold shoulder to down to earth Molly Brown.  I think each of us knows what it feels like to be nervous in a group.  I think each of us knows what it feels like to want to make a friend.  To want a BELONG stamp.  Think about that.  You can do that for someone.  Forget what you know about fellowship and be a friend.

Thank You, Lord!

On By femmefuelIn August 2011 (Cultivating Friendships), FemmeBytes by Bindu Adai-Mathew1 Comment

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

Thank you, Lord, for friendships. Without them, Childhood would have been sadness. Adolescence would have been torturous. And Adulthood would have been meaningless.

Thank you, Lord, for friendships.Even for friends long-gone from my life.Whose absence once saddened my heart now waft in my mind like the lingering, nostaligic scent of a sweet memory.

Thank you, Lord, for friendships. For friends of today who were unexpected blessings. For AbbyA and her beautiful poetic words. For JMathis and her sharp writer’s sword. For the time you have let our pathways intertwine into one. Searching, learning, growing…together. An earthly trinity whose eyes strive to stay heaven-bound.

Thank you, Lord, for friendships. For future friends we’ve yet to meet. For the secrets we’ve yet to share. For the prayers that have yet to be prayed.

Yes, thank you, Lord, for friendships. For laughter. For tears. For joy. For sweet sorrow. For only you, Lord, could have created something so, so beautiful.

 

Stories Worth Remembering

On By femmefuelIn August 2011 (Cultivating Friendships), FemmeBytes by JMathis1 Comment

By JMathis

My book of remembrance.

It’s not like HIS book of remembrance, which is brimming with stories of forgiveness and redemption.

It’s not like HIS book of remembrance, which tells of stories that owe their existence to the greatest love story ever told.

No, no, my book of remembrance is insignificant compared to HIS. My book is certainly not grand by any stretch of the imagination.

Nonetheless, I do have a book of remembrance.

My book of remembrance is filled with the sweetest of memories from when I was just a wee, little lass. Filled with far-reaching memories of people and experiences that have changed me profoundly.

It even has silly memories of my preschool friend, Nina, who taught me that smiling is always the best policy.

Even through the tears after your mommy drops you off at school.

Even through the tears of breaking up with your boyfriend.

Even through the tears of losing your job.

Even through the tears that God only sees.

Yes, this book holds life lessons from people like Nina who may not even remember me, or whom I haven’t seen in many moons.

These very same people may believe that they have never made a difference to anyone. That their lives have no significance or meaning.

Oh, but if only they knew about my book of remembrance. If only they could read its pages to see how much they have impacted me.

If only they could see how much life is worth living because of what they taught me.

If only they could see that their wisdom is more priceless than Solomon’s jewels.

If only they could see that their reach stretches beyond the annals of time.

If only they could see how God shifted my course in life through them.

AbbyA and Bindu, you are in my book of remembrance.

In fact, there are whole chapters devoted to you both.

The pages where you are found are lovingly bookmarked, highlighted and worn to the touch.

In case no one ever told either of you…

In case you doubt your role in this life…

In case you forget why you’re here…

Know that your lives are part of a rich tapestry of stories that eternally matter.

Stories that matter to me.

Stories that matter to Him.

Stories worth remembering.

Goodbye, Friend

On By femmefuelIn August 2011 (Cultivating Friendships), FemmeFeatures by Sasha KatzLeave a comment

By AbbyA

Truthfully girls, I hate goodbyes.  I don’t just hate them.  I avoid them.  I pretend they are not there.  I ignore the person who is leaving before they even leave so I can forget that I have to say goodbye.  I hate them.  And I hate them some more.

I want to have one brief goodbye.  I don’t want to go to any dumb go-away party so I can pretend that it’s just like old times and the person really isn’t leaving.  I don’t want to say goodbye two or three times.  Once with family, once with the girls, once you and me.  Just leave, will you!

I want to have about 15 or 20 minutes to spill my guts, tell you I love you, hug you and kiss you, shed salty tears down my cheeks and on yours.  I want you to remember how much I love you and get the heck on your way.  Don’t linger more than a minute or two.  Smile back at me and get in your car and leave!

So, I am not like Peter.  I am not going to forbid you to leave.  Matthew 16:22.  Because, yes, I get it.  God has a plan for you.  An (initially) rather lame plan that makes you far from me.  But I do get it so I will let you go.

I am not like James and John.  I won’t demand that you take me with you or put me in your spare bedroom where you are going.  Mark 10:35-40.  I only want an invitation to stay with you a few times a year and to hear your voice regularly.

I hate goodbyes because I love you so much.  I gave you sacred parts of me while you were here.  And as I watch you prepare to go and then go, I love you too much to take back the parts of myself that I have already given you.  So, I hold onto you like a hook on a fishing line until you leave state lines.  Then, instead of taking the bait and swimming off.  I let you pull off of a piece of my flesh as you go.  I want you to keep a good, juicy chunk of my heart so you don’t feel lonely on your journey.

That is why I hate goodbyes.  They leave me broken for a while, but I just love you so much.  And I can’t help it.  So, please, leave if you have to.  Don’t ask me why I won’t talk to you.  If you invite me to your stupid go-away party, I’ll come and either act fake and refuse to face the facts or won’t talk to you at all.  And, don’t expect me to plan the party either, because I won’t.  So, there you have it.  Goodbye.

The Golden Rule

On By femmefuelIn August 2011 (Cultivating Friendships), FemmeBytes by Bindu Adai-MathewLeave a comment

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Most of us recall the Golden Rule, which is also scripture, from our youth. In one of my elementary classes, it was emblazoned across the top of the bulletin board and seemed to be the first rule of thumb that our teacher wanted us to know and practice. Rather than have a long laundry list of rules that itemized unacceptable behavior, such as do not push, do not hit, etc. It seemed that it was the one rule that covered the need for an endless list of rules.

It’s also a great guideline for friendship when you think about it. I think about those lost friendships, those toxic friendships, and those stagnant friendships that we have talked about over the past two weeks. I think about JMathis’ post yesterday. Conviction is the word. Have I always treated my friends as I hoped they would treat me? Have you?

More than likely, most of us have failed to follow it. But let it be your guide as you respond to the people who cross your path today. Let it be your guide as you continue to nurture and/or restore your friendships.  Let it be your guide as you make new friends.

With Conviction Comes Revelation

On By femmefuelIn August 2011 (Cultivating Friendships), FemmeBytes by JMathis1 Comment

By JMathis

The Holy Spirit has brought the Writer Femmes to our knees this month, as every notion we previously held about friendship has been dissected, tested, crushed and revolutionized.

We innocuously chose the subject matter of Cultivating Friendships as a nice, plain vanilla, non-threatening segue for the MeetUp we will be holding in a few weeks. “Wouldn’t it be great to discuss friendships as we meet and make new friends this month?”

How naïve we were to think that it was us navigating the helm of this subject matter? How arrogant was it of us to believe that we had some authority or command of knowledge about this topic?

Little did we know that this month’s theme would render ourselves speechless, lacking the very words that we thought we wielded with such ease and skill. Being left wordless over such a seemingly benign topic such as friendship is embarrassing for writers, even amateur ones like us, with day jobs so far removed from our shared love of the written word.

Yet, God had completely different plans for this month and for these writers.

Conviction.

Yes, this month has been a period of unhinged soul-searching for us. We have questioned God and cried over lost and toxic friendships; we have repented with remorse over destroyed and damaged friendships; and, we continue to celebrate the friendships that dare to challenge and defy us to move beyond our comfort zones—even if such friendships only existed for a short season in time.

Amidst the flooding of these bittersweet memories of our friends, many of which are painful and raw with emotion, comes conviction. Conviction to become a better friend. Conviction to become a friend like Jesus. With this conviction, comes revelation. Revelation on how to become a better friend. Revelation on how to become a friend like Jesus.

Revelation.

Yesterday, we were writers, writing often for our own vanity and self-promotion, relying very much on our own insight and inspiration.

Today, we are still the same writers, with many of the same flaws, baggage and insecurities we held in the past. However, today we write with a bit more revelation and a slight glimpse into our purpose for writing: to show God’s relentless, unending and passionate love and friendship towards His children.

With this revelation, we are no longer just writers aiming our pens towards some particular demographic or subset of women. Today, we realize that we are writers who have also been called to be prayer warriors and intercessors on behalf of our readers.

Today we unveil our Prayer Requests page, where you can leave a prayer request and know resolutely that there are three of your friends who are on their hands and knees agreeing for you to hear God, feel God and know God in your daily walk.

While we may never meet in person, and while we may never know your real name, know that God has given you friends here at FemmeFuel who have your spiritual back, so to speak. Whatever you are facing, know that we are your friends who will call the Lord into remembrance over your plight, your need or your struggle.

Show us the areas of your life where you are in need of prayer and healing. Let us be that person in your life who stands with you in love and friendship.

You don’t have to go on this faith journey alone when you have friends.

Teach us how to be a better friend to you.

Teach us how to be a friend like Christ.

Teach us about you.

My Dad’s Friendships

On By femmefuelIn August 2011 (Cultivating Friendships), FemmeBytes by Sasha KatzLeave a comment

By AbbyA

Most of you know about my daddy.  There are parts of my journey of being his daughter that didn’t really begin until I said goodbye to him on a cold, December morning.  His blue eyes that I stared into before he set out to heaven have become a sort of roadway into the man that I didn’t get to know every detail of while he lived here on planet earth.  Not to say that I didn’t know the depth of his love or how much he adored me.  It is the missing details.  But with God, all things are possible – – even finding the depths of a heart and soul after his time share on earth shifted to heaven.

After a long day at the football field, my loving husband drove the four of us to the beach.  A local dojo honored my dad and a few other fallen warriors at its annual seminar.  I had three people in mind to see.  Two were there.  A few more were unexpected.

Donna J. grabbed me and hugged me in her strong arms – – just after she had finished teaching her portion of the seminar.  She told me things like it had been too long, about her summer Alaskan trip.  She loved on my kids who were about the same age as me and my brother when she first met us.  She talked about my daddy.  About his faith and his perseverance in the last few months of his life.  This is what I hoped for.  I didn’t want these relationships to pass away with my dad.

I unexpectedly sat next to a gent who went to high school with my dad and trained in the same Miami dojo.  He told me my dad was “bad” in those days.  In the best kind of way.  🙂  I talked to another high school buddy who I hugged as he shed tears over my dad.  We exchanged contact info.  This is what I came here for.

In the blur of my dad’s funeral, I have in my heart many, many words of those who loved him, but fewer faces and names.  Fast forward a year and a half.  Ray P.  It was his dojo, his seminar.  His words.  His warm face that closed the seminar in a tradition of my father that I was not aware of.  He stood at the front of his dojo and asked each karateka to lower to bended knee and he prayed out loud over the day, over the people there and over the teachings of the day.   In the name of Jesus Christ.

You see, my dad found himself in front of seas of martial artists over the years.  Speaking and teaching.  Teaching and speaking.  People from all backgrounds with a common love for martial arts.  This I knew.  I also knew like the back of my hand his commitment to Jesus Christ.  I did not see in action nor fully know how he brought his faith into the limelight of his profession.  Thanks, Ray P.

When we had a chance to say hello, Ray P. told me that my dad opened and closed every seminar and symposium in prayer.  In the name of Jesus Christ.  I saw that God pressed on Ray P.’s heart to be bold with his faith.  He said that not every person would agree, but everyone respected my dad for his convictions.  I sense that Ray P. is expanding his faith with a gentle spirit and a love for Jesus.  His faith calls for that same respect within his reachable audience.

Thank you, God.  For my dad’s friendships.  Thank you God for building more of my dad in me through these friendships.  Through Ray P. and Donna J. and others, what is unknown is made near and known.  What God makes complete, Friends embellish.  There is no end to the unexpected ways that God decorates your soul.  Friends.  Friendship.  Thank you, God.