Love Letters

February is the month of love.  I remember being about 17 with so much going on in February.  It was my then boyfriend, now husband, Eric’s 19th birthday on February 12th. Valentine’s Day on the 14th and our six month dating anniversary on the 16th.  I can’t remember all of the details of our plans, but I am pretty sure I decorated his white Explorer with balloons and signs in the wee hours of the morning before school.  His parents used to look forward to waking up to see what I had come up with.  I am sure we both planned to bring balloons, love notes and teddy bears and all of the good stuff you walked around school with all day.  Who knows what else.  But February.  The month of love.

This February, it’s still Eric birthday and still Valentine’s Day.  Although I don’t yet know all of the details, I am sure there will be love notes and dinners and all of the good stuff.  As I ponder love in February.  As I ponder its meanings and ways.  I am compelled to write of love today.

Over the last year or so, I’ve been sharing my love beyond the walls of our little blog Femmefuel.  No longer under an anonymous nickname.  Sharing out in the open.  Or at least the wide open of Facebook.  There have been so many comments rooted in love.  Lots of likes.  Many of you tell me what you think when you see me.  It feels good to be seen and read.

At the same time, some of you are surprised to hear me talk about my faith, my thoughts on God.  Some of you are not fully comfortable with my newfound openness.  Some of you feel that I have abandoned my roots or turned my back on my heritage.  Since this is the month of love.  I have to tell you.  That I love you the same I have always loved you.  In fact, the more I grow in God’s love, the more I truly love you.

For me, there isn’t a line that I have passed over.  I haven’t crossed any lines of us and them.  I haven’t chosen to set aside one theology for another.  The best explanation I can give you is that the more I have read of the old and new, the more the two have become one.  The more thoroughly two have become one, the more real my God experience has become.  It isn’t meant to be fully explained in words.  It is meant to be lived.  Out in the light.  In love.

There will be many love letters written this month.  Some of new love.  Some of old.  Some of loss.  Some of love never realized.  Others taking a chance on love.  Over this month, Femmefuel will continue to write our letters of love to share with our sisters and brothers.  You will continue to hear my voice.  Bindu’s beautiful, wise voice.  Jenette’s volumes of psalms flowing from her heart.  And, if she can squeeze out some time, you will also continue to hear from our California sister Chris Sweet.  Our love flows from our heart, hopefully, straight into yours.  February.  The month of love.

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