By JMathis

The whispers of the ages call to me in my restlessness and wakefulness. Come into covenant with your Father.

I am confounded by these promptings of conviction. I am uneasy with the Spirit’s line of questioning as to my commitment with my Savior.

Lord, am I not already in covenant with you?

What took place when I was 7 years old when I received you into my heart at a Billy Graham crusade? What transpired when I was 25 when I re-dedicated my life to serving You?

Come into covenant with your Father.

Lord, I am trying to be broken before you. I am trying to live on the straight and narrow. I am trying to please you. What more is it that you want from me?

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters–yes, even his own life–he cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26.

Hate, Father? You want me to hate my family? Even my own child? Didn’t you tell me in the Ten Commandments to honor my father and mother? What about I Timothy 5:8 where You say that anyone who does not care for her family denies her faith? Aren’t I supposed to be cleaving to my husband despite the fact that he leaves the toilet seat up daily??

Ahh, but hate in the original Hebrew is not I Hate Eating Liver, or I Hate Nazism, or I Hate Hurricane Season.

Hate in the original Hebrew instead reflects a choice: do you put Him first before all others in your life? Do you prioritize Him above your spouse, your kids, your parents, your work, your enjoyment of this life? Do you love Him with all of your heart, might and soul, even to the point of turning your back on your friends, your loved ones, your things, your self? Especially when they interfere and stand in the way of your relationship with Christ?   

Come into covenant with your Father.

These are hard teachings, Lord. How does covenant fit into my Starbucks filter of Christianity? Double shot of espresso with a shot of Jesus on the side?

You can get my all once the workday is complete, once the kid is in bed, once my husband is asleep. You can have me to yourself on Sunday morning–except on Sunday morning when I’m thinking about how annoying this worship song is, or about what I want to eat for lunch that day, or about the piles of work and laundry that need to be finished up by Monday morning.

Come into covenant with your Father.

Sacrifice.

Repentance.

Atonement.

A daily walk unto death.

Death to myself. Death to my ambitions. Death to all that I hold sacred in this world.

Come into covenant with your Father.