By JMathis

The last time I felt confident, free and completely at peace with my Creator has been a long time. A very long time.

We’re looking at something like 10-15 years here.

Is that wrong to say?

I think back to when it all stopped, and I see that my reliance on Christ has been spotty ever since adulthood. Ever since the stressful job. Ever since getting married. Ever since the mortgage. Ever since the kid.

I have always loved Him, and not a day goes by where I don’t desire to be closer with Him. Just like with a lot of people in my adulthood, though, I keep Him at arm’s length.

Why do we “grownups” allow grief, stress and pain to nick at our hearts? To put our emotions into a tailspin? To separate us from the One Who Has All of the Answers?

Perhaps as adults, it’s easy for us to get engulfed in all sorts of Sunday School-type head-knowledge of God’s capabilities: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

But our heart-knowledge is severely lacking.

As much as we would love to move on—move on past the floods that floor us, the quakes that shake us, the roaring winds that bring us to our knees—we have to let Him into our lives first to survey the damage, to divide and bury.

To pile up sandbags around our bleeding hearts. To catch our tears into His Jar of Forgiving and Forgetting. To part our Red Sea.

We have to let Him in first, whispers the Spirit.

What if I can’t let go, God?

Let Him in.

Why does it seem impossible to move on past these troubles?

Let Him in.

Why do the same hurts and negative situations always seem to resurface?

Let Him in.

What if I don’t even know the first step of how to let You in? After all of these years, Lord?

Just ask, whispers the Spirit.

“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7

“Yet you do not have because you do not ask.” James 4:2

Just ask, whispers the Spirit.

Stop being a grownup. Stop being an adult with your bossy fancy-pants. Stop with your Sunday-School head-knowledge.

It’s that simple.

Just ask.