Tag: sadness

Hopelessness

On By badaimathewIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

By Bindu Adai Mathew

The torrid rains of April are falling.

A flashflood into my emotionally overwrought soul.

Tears fall from my eyes like overfilled buckets,

Like Noah, I watch as the waters rise above my head.

I choke on the hurt and gasp for air,

But unlike Noah, I see no salvation, drowning in my own despair. 

There is nothing.

No God. No hope. Nothing.

Except more rain.

 

I imagine this is what hopelessness feels like. I imagine that possibly this is what the son of Rick Warren, author of the Purpose Driven Life, felt like before he committed suicide in early April.

Depression isn’t prejudiced like we are. It doesn’t pick and choose based on gender, height, or financial status. It doesn’t care if we are Christian or not…even if we’re the child of a famous pastor…depression hits us all. And it can feel overwhelming. At times our depression is the result of a situation and can be temporary. For some, depression can be clinical and an on-going life struggle.

Most of us are fortunate to rise above the rising waters and find our hope again. And some continue to fight. If you’re fighting depression today, I encourage you to let go of the cloak of shame. Don’t let it prevent you from seeking the help you need, the help you AND your loved ones deserve. Because no matter how hopeless it seems and appears, it is a lie, no matter how real it may seem. With God, we always have hope. And that is something we all need to be reminded of.

 “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”  Psalms 30:5

Rainbows That Follow Torrential Rain

On By femmefuelIn FemmeBytes by JMathis, May 2011 (Motherhood)Leave a comment

By JMathis

I cannot stress enough how incredible it feels to be your child’s hero. In my daughter’s eyes, I am above reproach, always right, and a never-ending fount of wisdom and brilliant ideas. To her, I am the embodiment of Philippians 4:8.

That’s why I am not looking forward to the day when she discovers my true colors:   

Red (anger)…when am I going to show her that I am a complete phony when it comes to expressing anger, and that my weapon of choice is a flask of passive aggression?

Orange (pride)…when does she get to see that my pride and arrogance stubbornly get in the way of making sound, rational decisions?  

Yellow (deceit)…when does she step into the web of lies I have constructed for myself, as I self-righteously preach in hypocrisy: “Be your authentic self!”  

Green (jealousy)…when will she realize that my aspirations in life are often motivated by jealousy and envy, rather than inspiration and strength drawn from above?

Blue (sadness)…when does she discover that I still torture myself with sadness and remorse over missed opportunities that I just didn’t have the guts to seize?

Violet/Purple (judgment)…when does she become aware that judging a book by its cover comes oh-so-easily for me, despite my mantra of “peace, love and happiness”?

It seems unavoidable that one day my daughter will learn about my Not So Virtuous past (and my not-so-virtuous present), and how I constantly sabotage my potential by living life in the Rear View Mirror of what-ifs and regret.

Despite all of my personal failings, however, it is my hope and prayer that I teach her about rainbows. Rainbows that follow torrential rain.

Specifically, how the rainbow of Christ’s forgiveness erases the self-destructive memories that threaten to destroy my relationships and my self-worth–dispelling the hurricanes and tornadoes of anger, pride, deceit, jealousy, sadness and judgment. How the tumult of colors representing the storms of my life blend together and disappear in the white light of His redemption.

Yes, that’s what I’m going to do tonight.

Teach her about rainbows.