Tag: God

Peace: Walking Through November

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha KatzLeave a comment

~ another day of week 1 ~

As I am reading through Mark, I read parable after parable.  God shares a parable with the multitudes and then He shares the meaning with a few.  The parables speak of natural things that can lead to supernatural understanding.  Back then, He spoke about planting seeds and candles under a basket.  Now, I think He would have talked about commuting to work and smart phones.  My mind doesn’t think in the way of parables.  I like the meaning Jesus shared with the few.  I like to skip ahead to the supernatural.  But the supernatural happens in the every day.  The supernatural happens in the every day.

After hours or days of sharing the unknown through messages of what was known, Jesus retreated with His few to the sea.  When I think of retreat, I think of peace.  Jesus often sought His retreat by getting into a boat to rest at sea.  This is also where Jesus revealed the deeper meaning of His parable messages.  At least it seems this was God’s plan.  But, frankly, I am not sure what is worse . . . on the land, Jesus has the multitudes seeking Him and constantly yearning for more.  On the sea (where He is seeking retreat and peace), He’s got Peter sinking, others freaking out every time the boat rocks in a storm and repeated lack of understanding of the deeper meaning of the parables (and everything else) He shares with them.  Peace at sea?

God, however, did keep His peace because He is peace.   He is our peace and He is our brother.  Because He was fully human for a time, we can connect with Him in a personal way.  When I think of Jesus at sea, I imagine that the Creator probably connected with the water, the flow of it, the open space all around Him.  The heavens up above Him.  I think He found His otherworldly community at sea.   I think out on the boat, He experienced the community of the Trinity.  Of course, God doesn’t have to find community or the Trinity because He is both.  But, in the way I understand, being out at sea for Him was what we call a prayer closet or quiet time with God.

The parables may continue to mystify me.  But, following God’s example makes sense to me.  I am Florida grown and when I look out into the blue ocean with lighter blue skies behind, with the warmth all around me, I experience peace.  My life and my circumstances sometimes mystify me, but when I get into a boat or a prayer closet for quiet time, I experience the Trinity.  I know that peace is present.  There is peace on land and peace at sea.  Supernatural peace happens in the every day. 

The Yellow Brick Road

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha KatzLeave a comment

Sometimes things can look very nice on the outside, but they are, in fact, a mess on the inside.  Sometimes, we are making progress on the inside, but you really can’t tell on the outside quite yet.  Still looking rather messy.  And, sometimes you are a hot mess both on the inside and the outside.  It just depends.

The last few weeks, I’ve been working very hard to cover many bases, at work and at home.  In the midst of working hard, I am battling some anxiety.  Just when I level the anxiety, I realize that I am experiencing super high energy, which I assume is adrenaline.  I am basically going from high anxiety to high energy.  I really don’t know what that looks like on the outside.  Mainly because I am preoccupied with tending to the inside (and the circumstances).  But truly, I had the sense that I still looked pretty good on the outside.

It was either the fact that I forgot my make-up bag under my desk at work or I truly looked weathered, but three friends who would know the difference reached out to me with the same message.  You are not yourself.  You’re troubled or preoccupied with something.  I can hear it in your voice.  Yes, yes, yes, this I know.  But I didn’t think anyone else did.

Like you, I don’t have a lot of answers.  I have guts when I need to.  I cry when the Spirit touches me.  I try to have a heart after God’s own heart all of the time.  I dig my feet in the firm hold of faith when the horizon is looking bleak.  I ask for help.  I let go of having all of the answers.  I just do the stuff I know He calls me to in the best way I can.

My faith tells me that if I both hold tight and take action when He calls me to, the ending will be the result He had in mind.  We can’t argue with the result He had in mind.  Because it is always good.  Not often easy or what we had in mind. But always good and usually better than what you and I could have come up with on our own.

Like you, I don’t have a lot of answers.  But I had a moment of clarity this weekend.  My horizon is looking bleak lately.  I figured that if God painted a picture of my circumstances, and if I’m honest, maybe even me, it would look like the aftermath of Hurricane Wilma.  My version of what a war torn community looks like.  Trees down, grey coloring.  Silence all around you.

In my moment of clarity, God showed me the Emerald City and the Yellow Brick Road and the pack of friends walking and singing along the way to their Beautiful Destination.  He let me know that He sees the flower patches along my road.  He sees the friendships being made along the path.  He sees that, in community, I’m moving along the path to the Emerald City.  He sees what, right now, I cannot see.

And, now, thankfully, I can see what He sees.  He sees what my world is looking like on the outside, but in His wisdom, has shown me what He sees on the inside.  In our human ways, we can’t always judge what the inside or the outside really looks like.  Some days, the inside and outside don’t match, sometimes they do and sometimes they shouldn’t.  I’m just glad that we serve a God that always sees, always believes in us and always shows us the way down His Yellow Brick Road.

JOURNEY THROUGH OCTOBER: CONQUERING FEAR – Giving up Friday

On By sashakatzIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

~week four~

In the summer of 2014, God made a request to me.  He put it on my heart to spend every Friday with Him in the summer months.  This meant putting aside other things, taking off work and being faithful for a season.

For those of you who know this story of my life, you know that I didn’t take off one single Friday that summer.  After confessing what I missed, I haven’t thought a lot about June, July and August of 2014.  I did take off this past Friday though.  A friend of mine traveled very far to spend a week with me.  As a result, my thoughts of the summer past came back to me.

Over that week with my friend, there were many days that I did things I normally do not do.  We sat at the beach and talked about the details of our lives that get missed when there is distance between two friends.  We smiled about age that continues to creep up on us.  We talked about the complications of love and relationships.  We ate out and shopped some.  We shared dreams, aspirations and hurdles.  We walked arm in arm in the warm sun and finally said our goodbyes for another six or more months.

As I headed back to normal life.  Having missed a few mornings and nights with my kids and husband.  Having missed some time at work.  After getting one good night of sleep back in my bed, I reflected on time spent with her.  I saw a few things differently.  It’s good to see beyond your own views.  I had some renewed enthusiasm for my daily grind.  Being away makes home better.  I said goodbye looking forward to next time.  Time spent with a good friend is good for the soul.

I see very clearly now what God was saying to me that summer.  He wanted to speak into my life so I could see a few things differently.  He wanted to renew me so that I could be a better woman.  He wanted to spend time with me because that is what friends do.  It would have been good for my soul.

I’m going to leave you with a call to action as I wrote it in the fall of 2014.  I am not sure that I could have meant it more than when I wrote it one year ago.  What is different now?  The call to action is lathered in love, quality time and friendship even more so now than then.

So, all of this about me, to say to you, that I am sure that there is something you are holding on to.  I am sure of that because we are not in heaven.  You have a lot of excuses like I do. Some come across as very justified, but they are not.  I know for a fact that you are braver than me and can let go of the thing, go do the thing, step out into the thing . . . before the thing expires.  You don’t need to wait anymore to do the thing you are supposed to do.  Please do it.  And, after you do, tell me all about it.  I’ll be encouraged to the thing He calls me to do.  At the very next redemptive opportunity. 

JOURNEY THROUGH OCTOBER: CONQUERING FEAR

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha KatzLeave a comment

~week two~day 3~

Christine Caine tells a true story of being lost in the wilderness after a jeep accident in the rain forest.  She recalls her conversations with God as she ponders all of the stupid choices her group made – – venturing out unprepared, telling no one where they went, wearing flip-flops in the jungle.  She contemplates all of the reasons why God should not rescue her since she got herself into this deadly mess.  One of the most telling lines in her story is where she says, If our example is Jesus . . . then we won’t distinguish between the one who is lost because of circumstances beyond his control and the one who willfully and willingly put himself there.

Sometimes I feel like the brown lab I grew up with.  When he was really bad after we weren’t home for a few hours, we would open the front door and he would be sitting there, but he wouldn’t look at us.  He sat there in plain sight, but he wouldn’t face us.  I suppose that’s shame.  Sometimes I feel like I put myself in my own mess.  There is just no way I am going to look Grace right in the face.  I will just sit there in my anxiety or mess or whatever.  With God sitting right across from me.  It is really hard to look Grace in the face when you are a mess.

There is a wonderful psalm which says, Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, Whose sin is covered.  It’s hard to swallow what Grace and Love does.  When I am feeling unworthy, the undeserved part of grace blurs in my mind.  Grace is much easier to understand when I feel like I have a few good works in my back pocket.  The truth is no matter how you got into your mess, we all sometimes need to be rescued by grace.  We are not any less worthy than someone else who is more dutiful, responsible and faithful than we have been.  We all need to be saved.

So I’ll try to be brave.  I’ll try not to avoid eye contact when God sheds some light on my mess.  I’ll try to remember that undeserved applies all the time.  I’ll try to remember that I’m loved, so therefore, I will be saved.  Not just from circumstances beyond my control, but from my own self.

Something special from DaySpring for you – – whether you think you deserve it or not!  Follow link to find out more!

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/ff92849712/?

JOURNEY THROUGH OCTOBER: CONQUERING FEAR

On By sashakatzIn Journey Through October: Conquering FearLeave a comment

~week two~day 1~

Love ˃ Fear

I look forward to the evening time, when rest is close at hand.   It’s not the rituals that we all have leading to bed.  It’s the actual pulling back of the sheet and blankets, crawling in, tugging up the covers.  Feeling the pillows curve around my neck and head.

I’m clean, I’m wearing the kind of pajamas I love to wear.  Clear drinking water is next to me.  The house is quiet and cool.  This is real rest.  And, if I’ve gone to bed early enough, it’s going to last for seven heavenly hours.

This is just about the point in time that I remember my sisters and daughters all over the world.  I know that there are millions laying on concrete or garbage.  Or on dirty mattresses stained with blood, sweat and tears.  Hungry and dirty.  Hopeless and afraid.  Sick, broken and wondering why the night has to be so long.

Their nights are full of fear.  Mine are not.

There are only two directions I can go with the knowledge of my peace in the night and my sisters’ fear in the night.  I can tuck away my knowledge, be grateful I am living in luxury, say a quick prayer and sleep my way through this life.  My other option is to take my knowledge, be grateful for my life and then give it away for others.

Fear stunts us and holds us back from the calling God places in our hearts.  The only thing that can overcome fear is love. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.  1 John 4:18.  If there ever was a good reason to conquer fear, it is so that we can love more fully, more deeply.  So that we can love not only those close to us, but so that we can love those in our periphery who are in need.  

God, I pray that, tonight, as we each go to the place we call Rest.  We would do so not just because of comfort.  But out of the full knowledge that we have done all that we are able in our waking hours to impact the darkness and despair and hopelessness of those in our reach. I pray that as You work out the big plans in our life Lord, we take every opportunity to make every small effort to feed just one person.  Smile at passers by. Complement our co-workers.  Give grace for no reason at all.  I pray that all our efforts are in your name God.  So that we would go to our place of Rest knowing that we have spent the day laying down our life for the same people and causes that you Love.  Amen.

JOURNEY THROUGH OCTOBER: CONQUERING FEAR

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz, Journey Through October: Conquering FearLeave a comment

~week one~day four~

Overcoming the Fear of Pain and Joy

We fear the gamut of life’s difficult experiences. We fear deep love and of being alone.  We fear personal change but don’t want to stay the same forever.  We fear raising children, but most of us take the risk anyway.  We fear having an empty life and also being too busy for the little things.  We fear.

I like to be alone and find much of my peace in solace.  But if I look deeply at myself, I fear facing the trials and responsibilities of this world alone.  Alone is probably my biggest fear.  I acknowledge this, while at the same time, I know the promise that He never leaves or forsakes us.  We fear the spectrum of the human experience in a rather ironic way.

As my dad faced the end of his days, his favorite verse became He will never leave me or forsake me.  Deuteronomy 31:6.  I don’t know the depth of his fear of death.  But I saw pure strength and wisdom arise out of his conquest of fear.  The full verse says Be Strong and Courageous for the Lord your God goes with you.  He will never leave you nor forsake you.  When someone is with you for always, you can be strong and courageous.

Fear runs in and through what we see as pain and trials.  But it also runs in and through what we envision as our most precious joys.  Overcoming fear brings us both out of trials and into joy. Simple truths like He will never leave us or forsake us usher us right through fear.

Warrior Friends

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz1 Comment

The rain surrounding the storm Erica poured down as I pulled in a great big hug from my friend Sharon.  We did summer with barely a peep between us.  But as the school year rolled in, it was too unfamiliar to let another week pass.  Without sitting and talking about me & her & kids & school & parenting & our mothers & love & God & change & fear & forgiveness and then finally, when are we meeting next?

We sat together in rain, shine and Florida humidity every other Thursday for the whole 5th grade school year.  Our sacred Thursday meetings are supposed to be as real as the human soul can be.  When we began, we bobbed through months of testing the waters of real.  Can I cry?  Can I call you between Thursday meetings?  Can I tell you the truth about my struggle?  Can I ask you hard questions?  Can you help me decide what to do?  Do I quit or persevere?  We will continue to sit together and share real words among two real women.  Doing real life.  In a real attempt to mirror Jesus.

What I am learning as a person: Take in the beauty of a good friend’s words.  Let them pounce into your heart.  Let them strain out the doubt from your soul when you are doing good.  Let them point out the path of righteousness when you staggering.  Let her words be like honey in warm tea whether you are sipping to get better or sipping to stay well.

Verse:  The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent, and their lips promote instruction.  Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.  Proverbs 16:23-24

Deep Thought:  I have intentionally halted at chapters of two different books unexpectedly covering fear and anxiety.  My dear friend Sharon concludes that God won’t let me side step what He wants me to hear.  My dear heart stirs and senses that God has something to say about fear and anxiety.  So, yes, I will read and grow and change.  And, while I don’t yet know exactly what He plans to say, I promise to read and grow and change.

Quote: … “Before I was formed in my mother’s womb” – – and here I paused to add, unable to resist, “whose ever womb that was – – God knew me.  He knitted together my innermost parts and fashioned all of my days before there was even one of them.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Even though I only just found out that I was adopted, God has always known, and he has always loved me.  And since that has never changed, therefore nothing has essentially changed. I may not be who I thought I was, but I still am who he says I am.  And I am more.  I am loved.  I am his.”  Undaunted by Christine Caine

Book(s)/Blog(s)/People that Shape Me: I hesitate to root for what I haven’t yet read, but I suspect that Wild in the Hollow:Chasing Desire and Finding the Broken Way Home by Amber C Haines will be exactly what it says it will be.

My Prayer to You: My prayer is that you have a few warrior girlfriends.  The kind that make time to know you.  Grow you and take full pleasure in seeing God work in your life.  I pray that you keep an open ear to Wisdom in whatever form she comes, in whatever pain or joy you are experiencing.  I pray that you are a warrior-friend to one or two or three others.  May you choose gracious words for her that heal like honeycomb and are sweet to her soul.  May you remember that, no matter what, you are who He says you are.  You are what He says you are.  And, that is Loved.  Amen.

Written By Sasha Katz