By AbbyA

So I definitely know about the COW syndrome.  And, I certainly admit to being more than tipsy – – okay South Beach 5am tipsy – –  when my second was conceived.  JMathis and Bindu are not ALONE.  And isn’t it just that kind of secret that keeps us Christians zipped up with lock and key.

Secrets.  Knocked up tipsy.  Don’t admit it.  Admiring your Pamela Anderson size milky boobs.  Only in your closet.  Beat up car in a parking lot of apparently deserving wealthy people.  Keep smiling.  Alcoholic husband left you (for real) at the Easter celebration in your PreK’ers class.   I must be an idiot.  Yes, Christian husband got snipped.  Is it okay to shoot blanks?  Walking alone married on a Christian campus of perfect couples.  Not good enough.  Not smart enough.  Not rich enough.  Secrets.

Be vulnerable.  Not because there is anything just so fabulous about you or me.  In fact, that’s the point.  Not because your walk is perfect or you have all of the wisdom.   Be vulnerable.  Yes, you can reveal your needy, imperfect self.  Because, somehow, you end up looking into the eyes of your hurting friend and you set her free.  That would be the opposite of keeping your deep-dark secret.  The truth is that it probably isn’t that dark.  The truth is that it is probably just deep enough for you to reach out to change your friend’s view of herself.  Change her outlook.  Pull out her beauty.  Set her free.

In her chat on friends, Lisa Whelchel talks about how she learned how to choose and be a friend as an adult.  She passed on some most excellent advice.  (My paraphrase)  Find a Christian woman that looks like she is a big mess.  She shows up to drop off occassionally looking like a bomb shot off at her house.  She has blown it big and everyone knows it.  The beautiful, all together ladies don’t talk to her.  That is just the kind of friend you want.  She will never leave you, she’ll tell you her secrets and she’ll keep yours.  Freedom.  Be vulnerable.  Even He laid down His life for His friends.  John 15:13.

Prisoner of Shame

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

…And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  John 8:32

 The Bible tells us that truth has the power to free us, yet so many of us expend so much energy in denying the big white elephant in the room…everyone knows it’s there, but no one wants to acknowledge its presence.

Yesterday JMathis so poignantly opened her heart to share a family secret that wasn’t so secret in her family. But she tore open the veil on her life and her family so that one of us could be touched. One of us could reach out to that one person whom we know is suffering in silence. One of us could ask someone for help when we begin getting overwhelmed by those “blues” that just won’t seem to go away.

As she shared her story, my immediate thought was “you have nothing to be ashamed of!” 

Yet so many people are prisoners of shame. We allow it to shackle us down and prevent us from getting the help we need. And that is exactly what Satan wants. He would much prefer we live in bondage than freedom.

 So as painful or as embarrassing as it can be, be honest about your struggle. You don’t have to post it on the wall of your facebook profile…nor do you have to twitter it to all of your followers…nor do you have to write a blog about it…but be honest with yourself…and tell someone whom you trust…someone who can help you get the right medical or psychological help. So rather than being a prisoner of shame, allow the “truth” of your situation free you to seek the help you truly need.