Boys, Fathers, Husbands, Boyfriends and Everything in Between

By JMathis

So much of our girlhood and identity as women is defined by one thing:


Last fall, I caught my three year old daughter KISSING (mouth, tongue, saliva) a three year old boy from her class. I just about had a heart attack and thought, “Am I supposed to be talking to her about boys now?”

I tell my husband and he gives me this Daddy’s-Little-Girl is Doing What? look. I shoot him right back down with my evil gaze. “You talk to her about boys! You’re the DAD! She needs to hear it from a guy!! What do I know about what HE’s thinking? All of these shenanigans are clearly from YOUR side of the family!” Honestly, I think he was about to faint from a combination of sheer rage and the sad realization that he will not be the only guy in her life one day.


You either have a crappy father, middle-of-the-road father, or a World’s Greatest Dad, but in all cases, you have only one Heavenly Father. Whether you realize it or not, any boy in your life has to contend with the consequences of how well you have reconciled yourself to both your earthly father, as well as your Heavenly Father.

I have a friend, Tanya, whose dad was pretty much a non-existent louse while she was growing up. Who does she exclusively date? Yup, guys 2 times her age. Daddy issues, anyone?

Then there’s Stacy–the good girl who grew up with the SUPER-strict dad, but the only guy that makes her heart race is The Bad Boy. You come over to her place (again) to console her with a Costco-size box of Kleenex and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, while rolling your eyes thinking, “Umm, hello? Is she ever going to learn??”

Boyfriends, Husbands and the Guy Who’s Just a “Friend”.

One day, one of these little boys becomes a man—a man who swears his life to you, and promises to be with you until the end of days. You take his words at face value, get on the horse and carriage ride in Central Park, and take the plunge…all the while praying feverishly that his daddy taught him right and that your heart won’t get trampled on one day.   

Or, maybe you’re single and you’re dealing with the one guy who always seems to be over at your place. You’re either not sure where the “relationship” is going, or frankly, you don’t want it to go anywhere, but you’re too scared of being alone…maybe you’re just too chicken to tell him to leave?

Yeah, we know a few of those, too.

In this month of June, FemmeFuel tackles boys, fathers, husbands, boyfriends and everything in between. For better or for worse, it’s our version of Cosmo’s Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Guys Issue: why they make us quiver, why they infuriate us, why they mistreat us, why there are not enough of them around, why they’re just not that into you, and why God wants them in our lives.


Can’t live with them, can’t live without them, so might as well [                        ]…

You fill in the blank. After all, in terms of the mystery of guys, your guess is as good as ours.