Hearing God’s Voice

On By femmefuelIn FemmeFeatures by Bindu Adai-Mathew, July 20121 Comment

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

Have you ever heard God’s voice? What does He sound like to you? Is it distinct or do you sometimes worry that it is your own conscience or inner voice speaking to you that you mistake for God?

As a child, I imagined if I ever heard God’s voice, it would sound something like James Earl Jones (aka the voice of Darth Vader, minus the heavy mechanical breathing, of course)…you know, a deep, rich, resounding,  low baritone.  Or maybe even like Charlton Heston.

But as I got older, I can’t recall audibly hearing God’s voice.  Often I  “heard” God speak through other people…a pastor whose sermon either convicted me or gave me food for thought or a friend whose advice was not only Biblical but also very practical. Even more often, I would read a scripture verse that I felt was directly speaking to me or even go through a situation where God would close all doors except the one that He wanted for me to walk through. While all those are legitimate examples of how God can speak to us, I wanted more…I wanted to audibly hear God. I wanted to hear his voice like I would hear my own husband’s voice. I wanted to hear His voice like Joyce Meyers or pastors often describe distinctly hearing God’s voice.

It wasn’t until recently when a friend told me about a  Bible study she was going through that was helping her discern God’s voice. Curious, I asked her to tell me about it because I knew this was something she, too, had struggled with.  One of the practical exercises that she shared was directly asking God what He wanted her to do.  Okay, I thought to myself, that is something I’ve definitely prayed for. So I wasn’t too far off then.  But then she added, “But after you ask God that, don’t say anything else. Just be quiet and wait for Him to answer.”

Whoa! I stared dumbfounded at my friend as that simple statement hit me like a ton of bricks. Ask God a question and then wait for Him to answer?! It sounded like something we’d do with anyone else, but when it comes to God, how often do we really give Him the chance to speak?

If I had to reflect on my prayers, I would have to admit how one-sided they always are. While I’m a good listener with friends, when I pray, I have diarrhea of the mouth.  I pray for my family, my friends, myself, and whatever world events are on my heart. I give God my prayers and petitions list which often read out like a “honey do” list. God fix this…help me with that…please do this…  As quickly as I let God know what’s on my heart, I say a quick Amen and go about my business. I never wait to hear what’s on God’s heart. How ironic that I, who had wanted to hear God’s voice, had never given God the chance to speak! Perhaps, if I were even more honest with myself, I would have realized that while I wanted to hear Him, I didn’t believe I really could or that He would even speak to me in a way distinct, audible voice.

So let me challenge you as I challenge myself…starting this week, as you pray, ask God to speak to you. And then be quiet and listen…you never know how God will choose to answer!

 Jeremiah 29:13: You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

My Hats Off To You

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz, June 2012Leave a comment

How do you describe yourself?  Could it be that you associate yourself with a family name or ethnicity.  Find your identity in your friendships or your children?  By your profession?  Are you a caretaker of many?  Perhaps you are a leader or a teacher.  Lawyer, parent, writer, lover.  Rebel, biker, peacemaker?  An intellectual, activist, New Yorker?  Your description of yourself is telling.  Your description of yourself reveals where your identity lies.

If you are a woman, you probably describe yourself with the phrase  – – I wear many hats.  The list of hats is long.  I hesitate to give you a long list of your likely hats because, it would be a long list, and frankly, you know exactly how to describe yourself.  You’ve already mentally tagged your hats in the short minutes you have been reading this.  You’ve probably even reminisced about a hat you used to wear or played with the idea of wearing a hat you haven’t worn yet.  While each of us is different with different hats, we all tend to choose a handful of hats that is synonymous with our identity.

The strange thing about hats is that, for as much as they describe us or identify us, they tell little about who we are.  And, for as much as we know the truth about hats, we define ourselves by them anyway.  My guess is that your burdens are probably growing out of the top of your hat.  Take that literally and imagine for a moment.  I am talking royal British extravaganza growing out of the top of your hat.  I am talking about the life size hat on the head of the sweet, old African American grandma sitting in front of you at church.  I am talking about four large Mariachi sombrero hats leaning in you while you eat dinner.  Hats make a public statement about your identity.  But hats tied to your identity are burdensome.

If you are wearing a large hat with a lot growing out of the top, you are probably living a balance act.  It is probably hard to stand up straight, maybe even hard to walk or think.  Let’s see, if you define yourself by work or career to the point of having no fun, your career hat will topple you over.  If you define yourself only by mother, you will eventually feel that there is no individual thriving on the inside.  If you crown yourself with “having it all” or “having nothing at all,” your crown will suffocate you.  My thought is, on the wearing of hats, is that we have it all wrong, at least as hats pertain to identity.

You may have the alternative habit – – the wearing of too many hats.  You know who you are because you are the one who won’t admit it.  You are overcommitted with the appearance you are doing fine.  Stop choosing hats that tie you to tasks that you really don’t enjoy anyway.  If you are striving under a few of your hats, throw them off.  It is the right time to let a few hats fly off into someone else’s hands.

The heart of what I am getting at is that our hats ought not to be tied to our identity.  Throw off the idea that you are defined or want to be defined by your hats.  Keep a few hats for depth, versatility, strength.  Describe yourself by your qualities, your desires, your abilities.  Describe yourself in a way that I can know you.  In a way that I can see your value.  For with this knowledge, I can take my hat off to you.

In the Cocoon

On By femmefuelIn FemmeFeatures by JMathis1 Comment

By JMathis

Lately, I have been feeling stuck. Not stuck in a rut, but definitely stuck in a holding pattern. It’s as if I have purchased my plane ticket to the lush forests of Costa Rica, packed my belongings, boarded the plane, but now am just sitting on the runway waiting to takeoff.

Mind you, a few years ago, I hadn’t even purchased a “plane ticket”.

Now that was a rut in every sense of the word.

I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t even know if I was meant to go some place. I just knew that I was sitting in my Flintstones-era car, trying to foot-pedal as fast as I could, to somewhere, to anywhere, but was stuck in a pile of pre-historic mud.

That was me, manufacturing the terms of my relationship with the Lord. Trying to kick-start things in my own way, but failing miserably. All because I was too busy to hear Him. Too restless to find Him.

Now, God and I are cool. Really cool. I really do weep now every time I think about Him and all that He means to me. Literally, weep.

This may sound super-spiritual, but in real life, it’s actually quite embarrassing and strange. I’ll be in the middle of grocery shopping, or out with friends, and puddles of tears and snot just start streaming down my face. My heart may be bursting with excitement at the thought that He is near, but meanwhile, I actually look like some hound dog frothing at the mouth.

So, yes, it is embarrassing and strange, but hey, I’m totally digging this place where my Creator has led me.

He even spoke to me in April and told me to be a writer. Yes! I have direction in my life for the first time ever!! Woohoo! I was finally going places! I was elated. There I was, sitting in this serious state of prayer and meditation, and I felt every fiber within me being re-born to write volumes, pages and books about His goodness.

And, then, as clearly as I heard Him, I stopped writing.

Not due to lack of desire, not due to a lack of time. But, I was simply struck speechless. There I was, without a single word left in me.

This chick, who always had something to say, who often could never shut up, was being rendered mute from a writing perspective.

It’s as if the Lord clearly manifested Himself to me and told me to be a writer, and then proceeded to take my pen away upon that very same revelation.

“I was silent; I would not open my mouth, for You are the one who has done this.” Psalms 39:9

So, here I sit stuck. Stuck with inexpressible emotions of joy and gratitude. Stuck in an ocean of grace and purpose. Stuck with plane tickets to a glorious destination.

Stuck without words.

Call it writer’s block, call it a rut. But, deep down, I know it’s neither.

It’s as if I’m a vending machine, being filled up daily with all sorts of goodies, but unable to dispense a single piece of candy.

More precisely, I’m in the cocoon.

I’m not the caterpillar I was, but I’m also not yet the butterfly I am called to be. I’m something unrecognizable to me, but nonetheless, still brimming with endless hope and potential.

I am learning how to be mute, how not to be me, so that His words alone can speak. So that His words can burst through my cocoon and pour out words of healing, help and restoration.

Volumes, pages and books. All unsaid in the cocoon, just waiting to be spoken.

See you on the other side.

The Fire

On By femmefuelIn FemmeFeatures by Bindu Adai-Mathew, May 2012Leave a comment

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

The fire is the situation or circumstance in your life that promises to overtake you, consuming you in its flames. We’ve all been through the fire in our personal lives in various situations. You know, when the stress of your situation seems so overwhelming that you can’t sleep at night. Your stomach is in constant knots, and your heart rate palpitates erratically at any given time.

The fire is stressfully uncomfortable. The fire is hot and pressure-filled and going through it can feel like a slow, never-ending torture. Our natural inclination is to avoid the fire at all costs.  We often think that when we go through the fire, we did something wrong.  And sometimes that is the case. Sometimes the situation we’re in is nothing less than the consequence for a poor decision we made. But sometimes, like Job, the fire sneaks up on us like a lion about the devour its prey. It stealthily envelops us despite our innocence.

In either case, fire can be refining. Like pouring alcohol into an open wound, the fire, too, refines and purifies. It takes our spirit to the place where we seek God and experience the peace that only He can provide.

But the Bible promises us 2 things when we are in the midst of the fire:  1. He is with us.  2. He will bring us through.

The Book of Daniel talks about 3 men—Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego who also went through the fire—literally! King Nebuchadnezzar had built a gold idol ninety feet high and commanded everyone to bow before it any time they hear music. Three Jews— Meshach, and Abednego—refused to worship the idol and as punishment, were thrown into a fiery furnace.

19Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual 20and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace. 21So these men, wearing their robes, trousers, turbans and other clothes, were bound and thrown into the blazing furnace. 22The king’s command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, 23and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace.

24Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?”

They replied, “Certainly, O king.”

25He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.”

26Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!”

So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, 27and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.

If He wanted, God could have easily prevented them from being thrown in the fire. But rather than preventing it, He allowed them to go through it. My favorite part is that He not only sustained them, but He was with them. And I love how when they were released from the furnance, not only were their bodies and clothes unharmed but they didn’t even smell of smoke.

Wow. Only our God could do that. Now the question is do you believe He can do that for your life? Do you believe you, too, can come out of your “fire” unscathed, even to the point where the circumstance does not even linger on your life in the smallest way?

Miracles always begin with faith and obedience. Before they were thrown into the furnace, look at the attitude of the three men:

14and Nebuchadnezzar said to them, “Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? 15Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?”

16Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. 17If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. 18But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

They believed that God could rescue them, but they also acknowledged that even if He, in His Divine Will, chose not to help them, that He was still the one and true God.

Although God is infinitely able, He may not rescue you the way you’d prefer. I’ve also been disappointed that God has allowed me to go through certain circumstances in my life. But if it weren’t for those circumstances, neither would I have seen His Hand working in my life. I wouldn’t have seen His Hand of Providence providing for my every need at the right time…His time, not mine…

Challenge yourself to see the “fires” of your life differently. View them, not as punishment, but as refinement…as purification. Because that is what He does with all of us…remaking us into His own image.

Interlude

On By sashakatzIn FemmeBytes by Sasha Katz, May 20121 Comment

I used to turn off the music when I got into the car.  My pain multiplied when music played.  I used to feel strangely lucky when I heard someone else say that they lost someone important to them.  Now I know that loss changes your life forever.  I used to think that my hope in heaven was enough to let you go.  I now believe that moving mountains is not too little to spend time with the one you love.

Once or twice, I woke up thinking that you are still alive.  My dreams left me thinking there was still time to make the end different.  Time to tell you that I am coming for your birthday even if you are in the hospital.  Time to come when you told me not to.  Time to say I am sorry for a handful of things I am sorry for.

I still think of calling you when I am driving in the car.  Sometimes, I feel your presence as if you were standing in the room.  I see your freedom in the presence of Christ.  I see that there are no boundaries to who you are now.

I still think of the day I watched you walk home to the Lord.  I still think of the day I told you that your death would not be a disappointment to me.  Having experienced the loss of you and the aftermath of your ascent, I could not be more convinced that life, in some ways, begins at death.

It used to be that I would humbly ask God why.  I would propose answers like you finished your life’s accomplishments.  I now believe that a person’s passing has more to do with limitations.  I think that when you have become all that you can be in your human body, God brings you home.  In coming home, what used to be is no longer.  When you are healed and whole, what used to be is no longer.

Growth and Change

On By femmefuelIn FemmeFuel by JMathisLeave a comment

By JMathis

Life is about the continuous handoff between growth and change. Growth begets change. Change begets growth.

It is easy to see this handoff in children, as their daily, weekly and yearly milestones contribute to their transformation from infancy into adulthood. We, as adults, even contribute to this handoff in our children through daily encouragement, support and the minimization or removal of any obstacles which are hurled in their direction.

It is less easy to see this handoff in adults. We often get lost in the weeds, focusing more on our failures rather than our blessings. Our pride brings us into isolation, causing us to steer away from a helping hand. While external obstacles to our growth and change seem to surmount over time, so too, do the obstacles which are created and maintained by our own doing—by the daily limitations we beset upon ourselves.

The Story of Redemption demands and dictates that we are a people who are meant to grow and change.

The Story of Redemption is itself a story of growth and change.

What was meant for the Jews alone, became readily available through grace to the Gentiles.

Growth for the Jews is to see Jesus as the Messiah. Change for the Gentiles is to accept the God of the Jews as the only way to salvation.

The inability of both the Jew and the Gentile to grow and change, tramples the magnanimity of the divine, leaving us all in the morass of sin and shame.

Growth and change. Change and growth. The handoff that allows humanity to experience the life-changing transformation of the Almighty.

Growth and change are even choked within many of us, both Jew and Gentile, who openly acknowledge that Jesus is the Son of God.

While many of us may call Him the Savior, we don’t search Him out in the day-to-day. Instead of embracing Him as our source for daily growth and change, we seek self-transformation and affirmation through the faulty perceptions of others and the false images perpetuated by the media.

His miraculous saving power remains untapped and hidden within us, because we don’t call upon Him for daily encouragement and support. Because we don’t wait upon Him for the removal of any obstacles which are hurled in our direction.

Our pride beckons us to resolve life’s disasters on our own. Our isolation deepens the chasm between God Almighty and His creation.

Growth and change are strangled, and the handoff is incomplete.

We alienate ourselves from the Helping Hand of the Father, when we focus on our failures rather than our blessings; when we embark upon self-reliance rather than self-sacrifice and dependence upon Him.

We remain in fear, sickness and doubt—obstacles that were lovingly, compassionately and supernaturally removed by our Heavenly Father through the Story of Redemption.

The Story of Redemption demands and dictates growth and change.

Spend time with the Father by reading His Word. Cry out to the Son by calling upon His name. Listen for the whispers of the Holy Spirit and wait to hear His Voice.

The Bread of Life and Cup of Salvation are here, present and alive within you. For your sustenance. For your strength. For your every need.

They are here for your journey towards Growth and Change. Change and Growth.

The Story of Redemption has only one requirement: fear not; only believe.

Let the handoff be complete.

Being Still

On By femmefuelIn April 2012, FemmeFeatures by Bindu Adai-Mathew1 Comment

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

 

Be still and know that I am God. Psalms 46:10a

For me, this is one of the simplest yet most profound scriptures in the Bible. In a world where we are inundated with so much “noise” in our lives—texting, Instant Messaging, FB msgs, FaceTime, emails, voicemails, tweets…it is hard to be still anymore. It is hard to still the noise in our heads, the chaotic thoughts, worries, fears in our mind and know that despite the chaos in our own lives, our God is there, as He has always been…The same God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob…He is all powerful, fully able to provide everything and anything we need.

I remember when 911 happened. In one morning, life as we Americans knew it changed so dramatically. In one instant, the cocoon of safety we had believed surrounded us evaporated like the morning fog. When the first tower was hit, we all thought it was some freak accident. But when the second tower was hit and then the Pentagon, we knew.  The news of that morning revealed one crushing blow after another, and we knew we were being attacked at the very core of our country. As we watched those World Trade towers crumble like dust to the ground, we momentarily had to remind ourselves that we were watching the news and not some science fiction movie.

But I also remember something else that people talked about over and over again in the coming weeks and months. Where is God? How could He have allowed this to happen? Why us, God?

Be still and know that I am God.

The peace we experience in our lives is not a result of a worry-free or peaceful life. Peace is initially fighting through our disappointment when things and life are not going our way and getting back to that point where we trust God again and give him the benefit of the doubt.  It’s asking how do we fit in His plan.

Be still and know that I am God.

The peace we experience during turbulent times comes from the knowledge that God, despite all appearances, is always in control, and although His ways are not our ways, it is in hindsight, His best for us.

Being still doesn’t mean being passive and waiting for your answer to arrive served on a silver platter. Being still means knowing you’ve done your part and then waiting on God to do the rest. But therein lies one of our fundamental challenges as believers…waiting on God’s timing.

Often as we wait, doubt creeps in…perhaps God has forgotten us…or maybe He is not going to do anything anyway…our thoughts and fears can often run away from us and lead us into disbelief.

Be still and know that I am God.

What personal “911s” have you endured in your own life? Not all of them have to be catastrophes or epic in scope. But all of us experience our own life questioning moments.

Perhaps like me, it’s a company layoff…or for some, it’s a marriage that is on the brink of divorce…or a sickness…

Wherever you are and whatever you are going through, take a moment today…even if only at the stop light on your commute to work…to know and experience God in the quietness of your soul.

Be still, my friend…Allow Him a moment to speak to you, if only to remind you of His love for you and that He has a plan for your life.

Our God was, is, and always will be the true, only, living God.

Revel in that knowledge. Remind yourself, if God is for you…who can stand against you?

Be still…