Category: FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz

It’s Already Paid For

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz, Mind Body Spirit Connection1 Comment

Not too long ago, the Femmefuel writers dedicated the month of July to the Body-Mind-Spirit Connection. Two years later, Bindu, JMathis and I are in completely different places. Literally and figuratively. Bindu is a published author seeing the first fruits of her creativity and obedience to God’s call on her life. JMathis has moved many miles away from South Florida pushing herself to the next level in her career. And, me, as I look back at all of the topics the three of us have blogged and lived over the past few years, I praise God that He let us be ourselves in an honest way that, ultimately, helped us grow. And, you reader-friends, I am sure you have sprouted seeds that have become hearty and strong.

I like the idea of thinking back in the month of July and to the Body-Mind-Spirit Connection. There is no greater challenge for women than this connection. It is the connection of these three parts that keep us healthy, vibrant and serving Him in strength. I believe that when we are seeking Him to stay connected, that balance that we all seek is possible. In fact, I would go as far as to say that when I seek Him to keep connected in the way of Body-Mind-Spirit, He is more effectively able to work out my daily details. And, the more I am in sync with Him for my daily details, the more I am able to be a fruitful role in the workings of His larger plan for humankind.

These thoughts come to me out of my recent challenges of working through more stress than I have ever had to bear. Going through this season has pushed me to my mental capacity. I am learning how to give God the bill for my groceries. My grocery bags are so heavy. He is watching me obediently carrying the bags. He says, “Give me the bill for that.” “I will check you out of the grocery line and will cover the cost.” In His sweet, Fatherly way, He says, “Just keep walking with the bags, my son already paid the bill.” In part, I am learning that there are just some things that I was not intended to do, and for those things I am incapable of, He doesn’t just have them covered, He already paid the bill.

I want to share with you an exerpt from my morning devotion. “If you don’t know the plan God has for you, ask Him to show you. Tell Him that you are ready to carry out all that He has for you to do . . . You are an important part of His overall plan in this world. So go ahead. Walk in that plan.” Wonderfully Made (Barbour Publishing). I like that call to action because God has a lot for you to do that will bring you great joy and fullfillment and Him great glory. There is no more empty place to be that out of whack with His plan for you and disconnected in the ways He planned for you to be connected. I am encouraging you to grab onto His strong arm, lean into His ever listening ear and ask Him some heartfelt questions. The gulf and wealth of what He has for us is wise and sweet and life changing. And, more than that, it is already paid for – – you only need to pick up a few grocery bags and walk.

Storms

On By sashakatzIn April 2013, FemmeFuel by Sasha KatzLeave a comment

Sometimes it rains very, very hard. And you don’t feel the rain falling. Maybe because you needed the rain or you were thirsty. Maybe you had your umbrella. Maybe you planned to play in the rain and the heavy drops don’t hold you back. Sometimes it rains hard and you don’t even feel the rain falling.

And, sometimes, you feel the storm coming. You are not thirsty and you have no plans for dancing. You wrap your arms around yourself and wait to see if you will still be standing when the rain stops.

I haven’t held onto myself in a long while. It is the kind of bracing that empties you of the buffers that usually are your strengths. You acknowledge fears and the truth as they are within you. You are spilled out so you know that, at this moment, there are not any more layers to peel back. This is a kind of core. This is the center of yourself that you are trying to hold together as the storm blows closer. While I hold on to myself, I press the tissue down in a crumbled ball on my nose and lips. I see that can’t hold back while I hold on. I don’t move, I just stand. I think to myself that, if there is a place to be standing, holding on to myself, it would be okay for that place to be the sanctuary of the house of God.

That is where I am. That is where I plan to be while I brace for this storm. While I watch the clouds of my fears roll in and swell up with water. While I anticipate the thunder and lightning. I do not know what my life will look like after the storm passes. I do not know what my life will look like after the storm passes.

I, the Lord, define the ocean’s sandy shoreline as an everlasting boundary that the waters cannot cross. The waves may toss and roar, but they can never pass the boundaries I set. Jeremiah 5:22

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope …” Jeremiah 29:11

Spring Cleaning

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz, March 2013 Spring CleaningLeave a comment

I did some spring cleaning yesterday.  One of the ways to look at the condition of my heart is to look at all the papers and notes I have been keeping.  Due to some house renovations over the last several months, my desk looked like an avalanche of papers and notes waiting to happen.  So, in between my daughter’s insect project, I began to take apart the avalanche.

Part of the avalanche was a foot high stack of my dad’s papers that my brother brought me.  The stack included a lot of my dad’s business and personal notes from almost forty years of writing, bible study and running his business.  Most of you know my dad passed away into the arm’s of Jesus about three years ago.  Spring cleaning.  I pray that when my kids look through my own belongings, they find right there in black and white, my commitment to God, study of His word and evidence of introspective thoughts on living this life and serving God.  Just like my dad left for me.  Spring cleaning.

As I paged through and organized my own avalanche, I breezed through many notes from my pastor’s sermons.  I ran across a note that read like this – – Don’t give up if you find yourself doing the same thing over and over again.  Keep repenting and getting on your knees before the Lord.  One day, at just the right time, it will be over.  You will have victory.  This represents so many periods of my life.  I remember that, when my pastor said this, I had the very distinct feeling that I was not alone in my sin.  I became grateful that He is graceful and closed the book on a lot of my past.  Spring cleaning.

It wouldn’t be spring cleaning if I did not search my heart for a present change that I’d like to make.  I can sometimes be serious or stoic or cautious.  Perhaps sober is a good word for it.  It is very much part of my personality.  It works very well with my gift of encouragement, particularly to suffering sisters.  I take journeys with my beloved sisters through their pain.  I share their brokenness and pour into the exchange all of the love Christ has portioned to me.  And then over months, I see His divine touch on her life.  I hear her testimony of what God has done and we rejoice together over her healing and deliverance.  And, then, sometime later, I feel distant and lonely in my heart and perhaps even for my friend.  Because I am spring cleaning as I write, it is hard for me to say exactly why.  There is a part of me that misbelieves or remains cautious as to the victory.  That’s the part I want OUT.  There is a part of me that firmly believes the book is never shut on trials, testing and sanctification.  That is the part of me that I want IN.  Lord, help me to know You and me well enough to rejoice with my sisters and in your GREAT work.  Help me to never stop seeking to become more like you and let me be used as encouragement to my sisters in their journeys to do the same. Spring cleaning.

My avalanche is cleaned. My desk looks beautiful with stuff packed away in those pretty boxes you get at Michael’s. My projects are in four lovely stacks ready to be worked on. God is good. He is faithful and true, worthy to be praised, wholly reliable to fulfill all things. Thank you Lord for spring cleaning.

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in the mirror, for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does. James 2:22-25

Love

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz, LoveLeave a comment

Love is the greatest gift of all.  It is not a song; it is not the month of February.  It is not a box of chocolates – – although it can feel like a very good substitute sometimes.  It is the whispers of the Spirit.  It is the calming of the heart.  It is the promise of rest and joy.  It is the belief that everything will be okay.  And, not on account of your strength or commitment to good.  But, His.

Love, to me, is a God that never sleeps.  A God that never rests.  A God that is always there working my greater good.  A God that knows me.  A God that always delivers me, provides for me.  A God that is so big and so full and so deep that my greatest worry, my greatest burden, is already in His back pocket.

Love is a God that speaks in all seasons.  A God that spends a lifetime helping you to be who you really are.  A God that already knows every word you will speak to Him and already knows every word He will ever speak to you.  A God that holds your freedom in highest regard.  A God that walks you through every tear, every cry, every hard question you post in His direction.

Our God is a God of love.  And as I toil in my work and in my family and in my relationships.  He says to me “Live, my child, while I take care of the rest.”  And, when He says that, my understanding of His love winds deeper and clearer and stronger because I believe Him.

Knowing Him and Him knowing me are the greatest markers of love I will ever know.  And the longer I know Him, the more I know of love.  And the more I know of love, the more I believe I am free to live, and to the fullest.  Without any thought or concern for the outcome.  Because the end is His.  And He is perfect.  To love.

On the Side of Impossible

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFeatures by Sasha Katz, FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz, January 2013Leave a comment

At the turn of the new year, most of us are ready to change in some way. Ready to turn over a new leaf or at least rev up a part of our lives that has been sitting quiet for too long. Depending on what you feel led to change, you are either very excited or very hesitant about the upcoming days and weeks. Will you really get up at 5:30am to ___________________________? Will you really stick to your new budget or to your healthy meal plan? Digging deeper, will you really keep a prayer journal and really pray for the people and things God puts on your heart?

For me, I am very excited about putting into action a few financial changes. I know I can stick to a healthy meal with some time carved out for preparations. When I dig deep, I feel compelled to pray daily for the things God cares about inside and outside my world. I feel like it is good for me to seek and grasp onto biblical devotions from men and women around the world. I think it is time for me to serve His suffering children around the world. And the truth is, for all my new year excitement, it will probably be tough getting up before 6am.

If you haven’t thought about any changes for the new year, you probably are experiencing something new or intense in your life and the larger picture can’t inch into your life right now. I’ve been there and I would say that asking yourself a few real questions will send you in the right direction. Like what does God want from me right now? God, what are you saying to me right now or through these circumstances? He knows the intensity of your situation and what you are going through. He is faithful to speak one or two powerful words into your day — and will continue to move and grow with you until you walk out onto the other side.

Among all these things I am hoping for, planning for and looking forward to, a few truths come to mind. I can do nothing without Christ. I have been to enough sad or sinful places outside His loving arms to know that nothing in the new year will come to pass without His will, strength and guidance in the center of it. This truth has been seeping into my heart and life for sometime. However, God has challenged my thinking with yet another truth: God can do impossible things and I should ask Him for those impossible things. I don’t know exactly what my impossible is, but I want to be a part of ending trafficking, starvation and disease around the world. I want to be a part of other’s salvation and growth. I want to be where God wants me to be all of the time. I want my heart to be like His every breathing moment of my life.

I know many of these things are an impossibility in our humanity. But I know this is where He wants me to be. And whatever remains impossible in this life will be perfected in eternity. I think this is the hope we all seek after. I think this is the truth that allows us to seek change and growth and great things … knowing all along that humanity won’t be as it should until Jesus comes. And, as unlikely as heaven may appear to the pessimist, or as irrational as it may appear to the nonbeliever, it is this hope that brings about personal change and lofty aspirations. Both impossible without Jesus and hope for heaven. These are truths we can live by. With all these things in mind, I will see you on the side of impossible — as I am starting to believe, there is no other better place to be.

Possible

My Hats Off To You

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz, June 2012Leave a comment

How do you describe yourself?  Could it be that you associate yourself with a family name or ethnicity.  Find your identity in your friendships or your children?  By your profession?  Are you a caretaker of many?  Perhaps you are a leader or a teacher.  Lawyer, parent, writer, lover.  Rebel, biker, peacemaker?  An intellectual, activist, New Yorker?  Your description of yourself is telling.  Your description of yourself reveals where your identity lies.

If you are a woman, you probably describe yourself with the phrase  – – I wear many hats.  The list of hats is long.  I hesitate to give you a long list of your likely hats because, it would be a long list, and frankly, you know exactly how to describe yourself.  You’ve already mentally tagged your hats in the short minutes you have been reading this.  You’ve probably even reminisced about a hat you used to wear or played with the idea of wearing a hat you haven’t worn yet.  While each of us is different with different hats, we all tend to choose a handful of hats that is synonymous with our identity.

The strange thing about hats is that, for as much as they describe us or identify us, they tell little about who we are.  And, for as much as we know the truth about hats, we define ourselves by them anyway.  My guess is that your burdens are probably growing out of the top of your hat.  Take that literally and imagine for a moment.  I am talking royal British extravaganza growing out of the top of your hat.  I am talking about the life size hat on the head of the sweet, old African American grandma sitting in front of you at church.  I am talking about four large Mariachi sombrero hats leaning in you while you eat dinner.  Hats make a public statement about your identity.  But hats tied to your identity are burdensome.

If you are wearing a large hat with a lot growing out of the top, you are probably living a balance act.  It is probably hard to stand up straight, maybe even hard to walk or think.  Let’s see, if you define yourself by work or career to the point of having no fun, your career hat will topple you over.  If you define yourself only by mother, you will eventually feel that there is no individual thriving on the inside.  If you crown yourself with “having it all” or “having nothing at all,” your crown will suffocate you.  My thought is, on the wearing of hats, is that we have it all wrong, at least as hats pertain to identity.

You may have the alternative habit – – the wearing of too many hats.  You know who you are because you are the one who won’t admit it.  You are overcommitted with the appearance you are doing fine.  Stop choosing hats that tie you to tasks that you really don’t enjoy anyway.  If you are striving under a few of your hats, throw them off.  It is the right time to let a few hats fly off into someone else’s hands.

The heart of what I am getting at is that our hats ought not to be tied to our identity.  Throw off the idea that you are defined or want to be defined by your hats.  Keep a few hats for depth, versatility, strength.  Describe yourself by your qualities, your desires, your abilities.  Describe yourself in a way that I can know you.  In a way that I can see your value.  For with this knowledge, I can take my hat off to you.

Interlude

On By sashakatzIn FemmeBytes by Sasha Katz, May 20121 Comment

I used to turn off the music when I got into the car.  My pain multiplied when music played.  I used to feel strangely lucky when I heard someone else say that they lost someone important to them.  Now I know that loss changes your life forever.  I used to think that my hope in heaven was enough to let you go.  I now believe that moving mountains is not too little to spend time with the one you love.

Once or twice, I woke up thinking that you are still alive.  My dreams left me thinking there was still time to make the end different.  Time to tell you that I am coming for your birthday even if you are in the hospital.  Time to come when you told me not to.  Time to say I am sorry for a handful of things I am sorry for.

I still think of calling you when I am driving in the car.  Sometimes, I feel your presence as if you were standing in the room.  I see your freedom in the presence of Christ.  I see that there are no boundaries to who you are now.

I still think of the day I watched you walk home to the Lord.  I still think of the day I told you that your death would not be a disappointment to me.  Having experienced the loss of you and the aftermath of your ascent, I could not be more convinced that life, in some ways, begins at death.

It used to be that I would humbly ask God why.  I would propose answers like you finished your life’s accomplishments.  I now believe that a person’s passing has more to do with limitations.  I think that when you have become all that you can be in your human body, God brings you home.  In coming home, what used to be is no longer.  When you are healed and whole, what used to be is no longer.