Author: femmefuel

We're modern women just like you, loving Jesus, and sharing our stories in an honest, personal and meaningful way. FemmeFuel aims to inspire, empower and provide you with the fuel you need to live out your purpose in Christ.

The Big Reveal

On By femmefuelIn FemmeFeatures by JMathis, September 2011 (Authenticity)Leave a comment

By JMathis

Today is a day of reveling.

Reveling in the art of relaxation.

Reveling in acts of celebration, friendship and laughter.

Reveling in putting the letter ‘b” in the word “labor” to very good uses: Barbeques, Beer, Beach Balls, Bubble Baths.

Reveling in your officially sanctioned day of rest. Why, thank you, Federal Government. Glad you noticed how hard I was working.

Today is not a day for revealing.

Nope, not today. Today is your day off.

Today is not a day for revealing that you are deceitful.

Today is not a day for revealing that you are inauthentic.

Today is not a day for revealing that you are a big, fat phony.

Okay, maybe today is not the day, but unfortunately, I’m looking at your upcoming schedule, and you seem pretty booked for the rest of the year. Can you clue me in on when you will actually have time to launch your Big Reveal?

You know, the Big Reveal.

The day you tell God that you’re a two-faced hypocrite?

Yes, I’m talking to you. Mainly to me, but also to you. Don’t look so shocked.

Do you think He doesn’t know the real reason why you raise your hands to worship in church? Is it because that’s what everyone else is doing? Or, is it because you’re so self-righteous, that you need to show everyone else what a model churchgoer should look like?

Do you think He doesn’t hear you harping on and on to others about the importance of reading the Bible and praying everyday, when you haven’t even picked up a Bible in months? When you haven’t had a real conversation with Him in years?

Do you think He doesn’t see right through your Church Lady act, where you show up every Sunday at 10am on the dot, with your perfect GQ husband, your 2.5 kids who quote scriptures in Hebrew and Greek, and your glittery red pen that you use to sign up to volunteer for Youth Group Wednesdays, Prayer Team Thursdays, Feeding the Homeless Fridays and Women’s Potluck Saturdays?

You do know that He doesn’t care about all of this stuff, right?

You do know that He only wants you, right?

Alone.

By yourself. Without interruptions. Without distractions. Without anyone else or anything.

Not you, as your big, bad self, but you, as a child of God, lying prostrate on the floor, crying out in the stillness of the night.

Crying out for forgiveness. Crying out for His touch. Crying out until you hear answers.

Crying out to be rid of your bleeding, busted, messed-up life.

When will you make time to show Him your Big Reveal? When will you make time to come before Him broken, contrite, repentant and ready for Him to fill you? When will you make time to come before Him stripped of your airs, your pride and your holier-than-thou pretentiousness?

When will you stop reveling behind the arrogance of your big, bad self?

When will you start revealing to Him that you are lost? That you are desperate? That you are hurting? That you are struggling? That you are hanging on by a thread and barely making it?

When will you start revealing that you are nothing without His grace, mercy and salvation?

When do you stop wearing your mask in front of others?

When do you stop wearing your mask in front of Him?

Today is the day.

Today is the day.

Today is your day.

Dirty Laundry

On By femmefuelIn FemmeBytes by Sasha Katz, September 2011 (Authenticity)1 Comment

By AbbyA

Authenticity.  I am thinking about looking into someone’s eyes.  Rather simple.  We do it in conversation.  Over dinner.  The eyes are a window into the inner thoughts and soul of a person.

There are some eyes that have the gift of seeing the inside of you just by looking briefly into your own eyes.  You know this person, this gift, because even if you know them  – – surfacely – – even if they are an acquaintance – – when they look at you and you at them, you have to choose.

At that glancing moment, you can look away or look back.  If you look back, you have given them a window of opportunity.  They will see into your heartstrings.  The thoughts and feelings that you hold below the surface will be told to them through the language of the eyes.  But, if you look away, they will have known anyway that you have hidden within yourself your authenticity.

Your authenticity.  It is so easy to slant it.  Stuff it.  Perform it.  Deny it.  Look away and pretend that your heartstrings are playing to a happy song.  So easy to pretend that your inner thoughts are in complete harmony with your outer appearance.

Your authenticity.  It is your greatest mark of your individualism.  Your unique blueprint.  The greatest evidence of our Sovereign God.  And, we, in our great wisdom, decide to mask it, hide it, run from it.  Stuff it, slant it.  Deny it and perform it.

I know why.  We all know why.  There is a part of ourselves that is like a dryer.  It spins around – – sometimes you find a sock of shame.  Dirty underwear.  Embarrassing stains and soils.  Undergarments that make us feel self-conscious.  Rips and tears that show our age and maturity.  Tags that reveal both wealth and size.  We’ve all got our laundry spinning around in the dryer.

Authenticity.  It’s spinning.  No one knows, after the cycle, what will show up missing or later found.  No one really feels like hanging shirts or sorting socks.  No one likes wrinkles or pink-whites or crayon stains.  But we’ve all got it spinning in the dryer.

Authenticity.  You’ve got a Maker and a friend.  The Maker already knows your imperfections and your friend has some version of your own dirty laundry anyway.  Why not take a chance on the real you?  Why not take a chance with the one version of you that God felt so strongly about, so lovingly about, that He stamped you into time.  Authenticity, why not?

Unmask Yourself

On By femmefuelIn September 2011 (Authenticity)Leave a comment

By Bindu Adai-Mathew

Authenticity. It is something we instinctively seek in others, but it’s something we may struggle with in our own lives. For authenticity, while quite desirable, comes at a high price. It requires openness…transparency…vulnerability.  Words that make even the most extroverted of people shudder.

For being authentic may sometimes require us to admit characteristics, flaws, feelings that we are not quite ready to “own up to.” Or it may require admitting to mistakes, past decisions, etc. that we’re not quite ready to share.

Authenticity sometimes invites judgment, criticism, and, alas, even gossip…something we’re all reluctant to hear about ourselves.

During the month of September, FemmeFuel will tear open the veil that we often use to cover the most secret part of ourselves. We will explore the fears, anxiety as well as the benefits and growth that come with striving to be our most authentic selves. During Week 1, we will delve into how we can be more authentic with God and how often He can use our circumstances and struggles to reveal our true nature to ourselves, holding up our flaws to us like a mirror. During Week 2, we will delve into how we can be more authentic with ourselves, and Week 3 will focus on how we can also strive to be more authentic in church or our Christian community. During Week 4, we will wrap up the topic by how we can be more relate-able as Christians to our non-Christian community of co-workers, friends, and/or family. How can we share the love and truth of Christ without coming off “holier than thou”? How can we stop hiding behind the veneer of religion and demonstrate the honest love of Christ?

So join us this month as we seek to unmask our innermost selves and strive to become our most authentic selves.

Swallowed Up By The Great I Am

On By femmefuelIn August 2011 (Cultivating Friendships), FemmeBytes by JMathisLeave a comment

By JMathis

I am not someone you would characterize as a dog aficionado or an animal lover. You won’t ever find me working for PETA or volunteering at the local animal shelter. In fact, more often than not, I am pretty terrified of the average, household pet.

For some reason, though, Ilia managed to steal a bit of my heart when we first met nine years ago.

My husband traveled so much in the first five years of our marriage, that it was just me and Ilia most nights. She was my Scooby Doo and I was her Shaggy—both of us running wildly in fright over shadows caused by tree branches, the wind beating against the windows, and spiders scurrying into the darkness.

Partners in crime to the end. Get Smart-style.

She had these long, floppy ears, which were awkwardly saddled onto her scrawny frame. Yet, she carried a noble, kind gaze that just melted men of steel into puddles.

While she was never very bright, she sure knew how to get tangled up in my heartstrings.

She was a glimmering ray of light and love in my life, and this past winter, my beautiful Ilia succumbed to cancer and moved out of my grasp.

I try not to think too much about her these days. Life catches up and takes over the tick-tock of my daily timepiece. Mainly, it’s because I get a little too teary-eyed remembering how devoted she was to me.

I did think long and hard about her this morning, though. Donald Miller wrote a post this week that had the most heartwarming sentiment for dog owners: that when your dog passes on, she gets swallowed back up into God’s imagination.

I choked up at the beauty of that thought.

To be perfectly honest, I can’t even say that I understand the statement completely, as I have no idea what happens to dogs after they die.

Still, the concept that God created my dog, gave her breath, and allowed me to experience the joy of loving her, before bringing her back full circle into the creative expanse of His mind, is simply just overwhelming to me.

That He would reach far into the recesses of His imagination and give me the pleasure of knowing this wholly inadequate ‘type and shadow’ of friendship—through my dog—is just beyond my comprehension. How did He even conceive of the idea of giving me this earthly hint, this mere taste of the rich, vast fullness of His never-ending love and undying loyalty towards me?

Oh, what I would do to become swallowed back up into His imagination.

To become swallowed back up into eternal communion, fellowship and friendship with Him.

To become swallowed back up by The Great I Am, who died just for me and who calls me friend.

What a friend we indeed have in Jesus:

“He will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth.” Isaiah 25:8

Eternal Friendships

On By femmefuelIn August 2011 (Cultivating Friendships), FemmeBytes by Sasha KatzLeave a comment

By AbbyA

The friendships we form on earth are simply types and shadows of what our Creator wants from us, desires from us, needs from us. Friendships provide a mere taste, a slight glimpse into the very best God has specifically and uniquely designed for me and you. – JMathis

Types and Shadows.  Shadows of His Perfection.  Types of the way His Spirit reaches into our hearts and minds.  Types and Shadows.  He speaks to us in languages and through forums.  Ways in which we can know Him.  Through the Distance of Time.  Through the Seemingly Opaque Door of Eternity.  Through Friendships.

There is a seemingly opaque door with a window or maybe a linen screen.  There is a way in which to see in.  Through dreams in the night time.  Through views of nature that are so beautiful, you feel you can walk right through them.  Through places you see in your thoughts.  That you cannot place in reality.  But know undeniably they are there.  Through Friendships.

The neat thing about friendships is that it is one of the few things that we will take with us to eternity.  Many things will pass away as unnecessary when we trade in types and shadows for the face of Christ.  But Friendships.  It only makes sense that in our spiritual form, we will know one another.

In our spiritual form, we will have ways to share Me-Too moments that did not occur to us here.  We will have an entirely new set of Me-Toos to open up the door to shared purpose and shared experience.  In that perfection, in the supernatural way of the Father, even the forgotten pain and mutual hurt will deepen the closeness available through eternal friendships.

Perhaps I spend too much time in the possibility of what is to come.  But I cannot help to think that in the space of my imagination.  In the space that I dream about my Father’s home.  I am clothed and covered first in Him and then by . . . Friendships.

Me-Too Moments

On By femmefuelIn August 2011 (Cultivating Friendships), FemmeFeatures by JMathis2 Comments

By JMathis

It’s always nerve-wracking when you walk into a women’s group.

What do I wear? Why did I have to break out today? What if they’re a bunch of freaks? What if everyone is dull as a doorknob?

You sign up hoping, just hoping you’ll have a somewhat pleasant experience, but just in case, why come in expecting too much? Just temper those expectations, honey, because meeting new people, especially other women, is never better than the way you imagined it in your head.

After all, in your head, there’s always a ton of laughter, good food, and most of all, a chorus of Me-Too Moments.

Who likes Indian food? Me too, me too! Who loves the beach, but hates South Florida drivers? Me too, me too! Whose husband always leaves the toilet seat up? Me too, me too! Who’s dying to see The Help this weekend? Me too, me too!

Well, my Saturday was full of Me-Too Moments.

It began in the morning when AbbyA called me to tell me that she had a nightmare that this women’s group was going to be a total bust. Me too, me too! No, seriously—Me too, me too! I had a dream that instead of eating sushi and Thai at a great restaurant, women were packed into a classroom, starving, impatient, yelling, kvetching and trash-talking each other. In one word: chaos.

Yes, this is what we should expect today. Cattiness, egos and perfectly manicured she-devils.

Imagine our surprise, when we walked into this women’s group to experience what we had secretly hoped for all along: a ton of laughter, good food, and most of all, a chorus of Me-Too Moments. With creative, beautiful and delightfully engaging women, to boot.

Who loves chocolate? Me too, me too! Who sucks at cooking? Me too, me too! Who thinks men are insane? Me too, me too! Who wants to go shopping afterwards? Me too, me too!

Imagine our surprise, when the Me-Too Moments also hit upon mutual pain and loss.

I was diagnosed with cancer. Me too, me too! I’m contemplating divorce. Me too, me too! He cheated on me. Me too, me too! My dad died recently. Me too, me too! I’m having a hard time making friends and being able to trust anyone again. Me too, me too! I just lost my house and my business. Me too, me too!

Imagine our surprise, when the Me-Too Moments began to take a life of their own, and started to radiate with shared strength, courage and conviction.

You’ll get through this.

I want to pray with you.

I can help.

You’re not alone.

Call me.

I think that’s when it hit us. Friendship is a divinely inspired collection of Me-Too Moments that is fragile, not easily found, but so worth the exhausting hunt. The friendships we form on earth are simply types and shadows of what our Creator wants from us, desires from us, needs from us. Friendships provide a mere taste, a slight glimpse into the very best God has specifically and uniquely designed for me and you.

I just want to hear your voice, He says.

I just want to spend time with you, He says.

I just want to love you, He says.

Me too, Father.

Me too.

Ladies, keep searching for your Me-Too Moments. They’re out there. Once you find them, savor them and nurture them as gifts from your Creator.

They’re simply worth the wait.

The Scary What If’s About Making New Friendships

On By femmefuelIn August 2011 (Cultivating Friendships), FemmeBytes by JMathis2 Comments

By JMathis

What if you opened your mind to the possibility of a new friend?

What if there was someone out there who made sure you always felt like you belonged?

What if you took a chance at being vulnerable in front of other women?

What if you tried being honest with others (and yourself) for a change?

What if there was a friend out there who would challenge you to be the real you?

What if there was a friend out there who would take you on a new set of adventures?

What if you made a friend who became closer than a sister?

What if you met a friend who always made you laugh? Who made you pee from laughter?

What if you stopped judging someone long enough to realize that she is just like you?

What if you didn’t have to be self-conscious about your body, your mind or your spirituality in front of other women?

What if you always felt like you were personally invited?

What if it didn’t have to be hard to meet new friends?

What if you didn’t have to be nervous or self-aware when sharing your story or your past?

What if it didn’t have to be a chore to smile or make small talk with women?

What if new friends could become part of your family?

What if there was a friend who never made you feel invisible or like a third wheel?

What if you could meet someone who really wanted to know all about you?

What if you didn’t have to play the one-upmanship game with women?

What if the pretty girl wasn’t a mean girl?

What if you didn’t always have to be perfect or right for someone to like you?

What if you didn’t have to feel the need to compare yourself to other women?

What if it was okay to be friendly without being accused of being perky or saccharine?

What if you don’t have to say a word, because she already knows how you feel?

What if you didn’t have to worry about every word you said in front of other women?

What if you didn’t have to prove to someone that you were some über-Christian?

What if the words “fake” and “phony” only applied to the “Prada” purses you and your new friend bought off of a street vendor?

What if you made a friend who genuinely prayed for you and with you?

What if you had a friend who made you want to seek more of Jesus?

What if you could cry in front of someone new without feeling like you are needy?

What if you had a friend who reached out to you, without you reaching out to her first?

What if hugs from a friend came naturally?

What if meeting other women didn’t have to be so intimidating?

What if you felt freedom in being able to trust a new friend?

What if making a new friend didn’t have to feel like being hazed by a sorority?

What if you could hit it off with someone just like you, or someone nothing like you?

What if you had someone with whom you could share your secrets? Your dreams?

What if you didn’t have to prove your friendships through Facebook pictures?

What if you walked into a women’s group and you immediately felt like you were home?

Haven’t you waited long enough? Isn’t it time to put yourself out there?

Take a chance on friendship…again.

Be the friend you always wanted for yourself.

Be the woman in the group who makes everyone feel welcome.

Be the change you want to see in this world (thanks, Mahatma Gandhi).

Matthew 7:12. “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”

What If…by Donald Miller @ Catalyst West 2010:

http://www.youtube.com/user/CatalystConference#p/u/37/mON-059nbNM