I am continuing to share with you my revelations for 2015. Today, I share with you the mother I would like to be to my son. Please journey with me. Your comments and perspective are more than welcome here.
Mother
My sweet eleven year old boy has been doggie paddling through some rough waters. I think he has been hit in the face with some of that water. He swims on, but I see that his self-esteem has taken some hits. For a boy that mainly seeks to please, rarely voices any complaints and often lives in his own thoughts, it’s easy to keep on trucking without taking any pit stops. As his mama, I am committed this year to taking a lot of pit stops for refreshments, rest and meaningful exchange along our life’s route.
My plans for him include a weekly date with me. I am inspired to reach out to him and take interest in his life. He loves lacrosse – – I am sports-challenged, but I plan to have him teach me the game. He expressed an interest in starting a coin collection – – we can do that together. I also am inspired to teach him how to be the man I want for me, his future wife and his daughters one day. I’m learning that it takes a mom to instill in her son a deep understanding of women. I’m encouraged to give him insights into a woman’s world so that he can navigate his way through it with honor and goodness.
I’m also remembering and learning again the timeless qualities of honorable manhood. Honor, courage, commitment, sacrifice, love, compassion, forgiveness, wisdom and grace. These are qualities I encourage in my kids, both male and female. But I am breathing in the singularity of what these qualities mean for a boy in a boy’s world, or a man in a man’s world. The angle is different. I want to be the edge or angle that allows the light to shine in on his growing manhood.
The revelation, the different thing, the building block is that building character is bound to build long term self esteem in the boy. I don’t really want to just tell him how wonderful he is anymore. I don’t just want to talk to him about what is good and right and holy. I want him to believe who he is and live who God made him to be. As my boy grows into a man, I see that he has to know who he is on the inside; and that belief has to be something he comes to know independently.
If you are interested in reading a few of the articles I read on raising an honorable man, check out the following: It’s A Boy!, How Moms Can Lead Their Sons into Good, Honorable Manhood and Protecting the Self Esteem of Boys.
FemmeFuel 
As a boy mom, I appreciate your wisdom and tips on further resources. I have an 11 yr. old boy/man also… such an awkward age in regards to social challenges and self esteem. Thanks for the tips!
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Looking at things from the female side of the fence, I can really appreciate that you’re setting out to do this. My daughter is now 16, and the boys who I’d like her to date are few and far between. There’s the initial concern of “Are they a Christian?”; but in today’s world, that doesn’t always mean as much as it should. In her high school teen group there are so many boys who do not know how to treat girls, let alone women.They have not even been taught to do the simplest things – like hold doors for strangers, or refraining from screaming in the church courtyard…or maybe it’s been mentioned, but no one has concretely enforced it in their younger youth. It’s not that they’re mean…they’re just indifferent. I tell you all this because I believe strongly that being indifferent is not compatible with being a Christian. I believe that those who are indifferent to strangers are those who end up being indifferent to their wives once the initial fireworks wear off. So I guess what I’m saying is, in raising your son to be a godly man, my advice would be to teach him indifference vs. ‘making a difference’ – whether it be treating a stranger with consideration, seeking to be kind to his mother, or being a good friend to his wife. Just .02 from a teen daughter’s mother 🙂
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I don’t think any of us can do life well without .02 from our friends. I often think about my boy having passion for the right things in life. I see how making a difference in the lives of others is another way of saying “be a servant, not a self seeker.” Got it Pink Kitchen. I’ll be praying for your daughter that God would bring boys in her circle that honor and respect her, and that the man of her dreams will remain her best friend long after he becomes a husband. Happy Saturday Pink Kitchen!
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