I have a friend who has been my friend for a very long time. She knows me well and likes to call me little sis. I don’t really like that very much, but I take it as a term of endearment . . . and, she is, well, closer to 40 than I am, so technically speaking, she could be my big sister. Continuing with technicalities, my friend is intellectual, ambitious, causal in her thinking, legal in her arguments and without grey in many ways. She would probably call herself self-sufficient. She is a single mom, working very hard, raising two and doing her best to live well; travel well; stay mentally well; stay well connected. Read well; fight for what’s best for her kids well; be the best she can be well. She would probably call herself self-sufficient.

I think about the differences between she and I and, I venture to say that, I am also capable. Put me on a desert island and I will survive. I’ll find food, shade and water and eventually plan to make my way home. Capable is a somewhat like self-sufficiency. But what it does not do is give you a flag to waive or a mantra to chant that you must do all things on your own. Self sufficiency is sort of like shutting a door. To your soul.

My friend in many ways has become so capable and so self sufficient that she has turned off the light switch to the very thing she desires most. Love. Her emotional walls consist of proficiency, skills, gifts and talents. Her defenses cause her to run to what looks like love and run from what actually is love. Self-sufficiency has become her idol. She worships what might feel like love instead of what promises to be love.

I love this friend with a love that never sleeps, skips a beat or ceases to be nearby. I love this friend with blinders because she needs this kind of acceptance. I love this friend with kind words because it is her love language. I love this friend and pray that she sees in the lovers of God in her life that God did not make her to be self-sufficient. He made her with a God shaped hole in her heart that only His love can fill. I pray that she sees in the lovers of God in her life that God did not create for her to do life on her own. I pray that, in her dreams, she will see the supernatural power of God at work in her; that He is sitting beside her every step of the way; waiting for the moment that she would turn her head to see His great love for her. Desiring for the moment that she would turn her head to see His great love for her.

Psalm 75:1: We praise you, God, we praise you, for your Name is near; people tell of your wonderful deeds.

Romans 8:5-8: Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. 7 The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8 Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.

Consider reading James MacDonald Devotional on May 5, 2014 about self-sufficiency.