Category: FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz

Warrior Friends

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The rain surrounding the storm Erica poured down as I pulled in a great big hug from my friend Sharon.  We did summer with barely a peep between us.  But as the school year rolled in, it was too unfamiliar to let another week pass.  Without sitting and talking about me & her & kids & school & parenting & our mothers & love & God & change & fear & forgiveness and then finally, when are we meeting next?

We sat together in rain, shine and Florida humidity every other Thursday for the whole 5th grade school year.  Our sacred Thursday meetings are supposed to be as real as the human soul can be.  When we began, we bobbed through months of testing the waters of real.  Can I cry?  Can I call you between Thursday meetings?  Can I tell you the truth about my struggle?  Can I ask you hard questions?  Can you help me decide what to do?  Do I quit or persevere?  We will continue to sit together and share real words among two real women.  Doing real life.  In a real attempt to mirror Jesus.

What I am learning as a person: Take in the beauty of a good friend’s words.  Let them pounce into your heart.  Let them strain out the doubt from your soul when you are doing good.  Let them point out the path of righteousness when you staggering.  Let her words be like honey in warm tea whether you are sipping to get better or sipping to stay well.

Verse:  The hearts of the wise make their mouths prudent, and their lips promote instruction.  Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.  Proverbs 16:23-24

Deep Thought:  I have intentionally halted at chapters of two different books unexpectedly covering fear and anxiety.  My dear friend Sharon concludes that God won’t let me side step what He wants me to hear.  My dear heart stirs and senses that God has something to say about fear and anxiety.  So, yes, I will read and grow and change.  And, while I don’t yet know exactly what He plans to say, I promise to read and grow and change.

Quote: … “Before I was formed in my mother’s womb” – – and here I paused to add, unable to resist, “whose ever womb that was – – God knew me.  He knitted together my innermost parts and fashioned all of my days before there was even one of them.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Even though I only just found out that I was adopted, God has always known, and he has always loved me.  And since that has never changed, therefore nothing has essentially changed. I may not be who I thought I was, but I still am who he says I am.  And I am more.  I am loved.  I am his.”  Undaunted by Christine Caine

Book(s)/Blog(s)/People that Shape Me: I hesitate to root for what I haven’t yet read, but I suspect that Wild in the Hollow:Chasing Desire and Finding the Broken Way Home by Amber C Haines will be exactly what it says it will be.

My Prayer to You: My prayer is that you have a few warrior girlfriends.  The kind that make time to know you.  Grow you and take full pleasure in seeing God work in your life.  I pray that you keep an open ear to Wisdom in whatever form she comes, in whatever pain or joy you are experiencing.  I pray that you are a warrior-friend to one or two or three others.  May you choose gracious words for her that heal like honeycomb and are sweet to her soul.  May you remember that, no matter what, you are who He says you are.  You are what He says you are.  And, that is Loved.  Amen.

Written By Sasha Katz

Becoming Less Linear

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Today, I am thinking about who I am Becoming in a different light.  My standards are often so linear.  I think about beginnings and ends.  Time lines from A to B.  Getting there with successes and stumbles along the way.  Getting there with a point in time, or end, in mind.

God put the word Becoming in my heart.  Along with truths like Becoming doesn’t end.  We have a God that knew our names before time.  He had a plan for each of our individual lives before we came into existence.  His Word brought us into time, and His calling will bring us out of time.  To Him.  We don’t stop Becoming.

What I am learning as a person: I am learning to work hard to reach excellence in the weeds of my life.  But not to such a degree that I miss the gift of timelessness when it comes to Becoming.

Verse:  Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, “I believed, and so I spoke,” we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.  2 Corinthians 4:13-15

Deep Thought:  While there are stops and goes in this present time.  While there is death and life as we know it.  While linear makes sense right now.  There is no end to Becoming.  He knew us before time, He knows us as we experience time and He will know us in eternity where there is no time.  And, in my view, even in Heaven, we will be Becoming.

Quote: God fulfills the dreams He give us, but not in the way we expect.  God works through death and resurrection.  Your dream almost dies but then God makes it alive again.  Shake off the snakes and keep going.  Sermon notes from Pastor Doug Sauder’s message of August 16, Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale.

Book(s)/Blog(s)/People that Shape Me: My friend Letty V is shaping me.  I describe her by real, seeking and honest.  She is known at the office as Queen Velazquez.  She is known at Sports Ministry as prayerful and strong.   I’ve seen her hit a wall, kick the dust of her shoes and keep trucking.  I’ve seen her walk hard in storms.  She always keeps the wind at her back.  I’m honored that her faith impacts mine.  Helping me grow.  Helping me remember grace, and helping me remember the ins and outs of who I am.  Thank you Letty.

My Prayer to You: Father, help us see beyond A to B.  Help us see how good You are and that You have graciously put no restraint on grace and growth in our lives. Help us see eternity where we will finally understand timelessness. Help us believe and speak and share with others to Your glory.  Amen.

Written By Sasha Katz

Deciding the Design

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Today, I consider time.  The arrangement of when something will happen.  Time is also continued progress.  For it to be both, we have to be intentional and creative, and looking upward.  I find myself in the open space of figuring out what that looks like for me.  I’m in the patches rather than the whole quilt.  But since I already know you also aspire to be the Proverbs 31 woman, you know how important the patches are to completing the whole quilt.  There is so much joy in deciding on the design of the patches while God takes care of the progress.

What I am learning as a person: Leaning away from building the components of my life.  Leaning towards the presence of Christ.  In this miraculous transition, I am seeing more fully who I am and what my life can be about.  If I miss this birth in me, I think I miss living in the center of His will for my life – – which is not fully about the daily grind, but pursuing what makes my heart beat with pleasure for Him.

Verse:  Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts. Acts 2:46

Deep Thought:  I know so little.  But I am capable of so much with Him.  I want to be more intentional, but also a blank slate for Him to write on.  Churning in me is the connection between intention, God’s creativity and time.  My current journey is to work out the tension between my deliberate action and use of imagination towards the time God has given me.  It feels very right, potentially beautiful and worthwhile.

Quote: It’s a beautiful thing when passion and pay align, allowing you to do something you love and be well paid.  If this is your situation, thank God on your knees every day, because you are living the dream.  Very few people ever experience the perfect balance between passion and pay.  It is one of life’s rare and precious blessings.  Simplify by Bill Hybels (Chapter 4)

Book(s)/Blog(s)/People that Shape Me: Simplify by Bill Hybels because he is helping me grab hold of the time I have and guard it for the things to which He has called me and for purposes for which I have been created.  Yes!  – – sigh/breathe/relief – – there is freedom here.

Love Does by Bob Goff also has shaped me. If you are a parent, you really have to read Chapter 20, Ten-Year-Old Adventures and Chapter 10, The Interviews.  It will ignite you to be alive with your kids and to aspire to make everlasting memories with them.  Reading this book gives me something very high to aim for!

Consider reading this recent post from So Beloved.  She gave me peace as I opened my day today.

My Prayer to You: I pray that the bit I shared with you today will begin to set in as a patchwork quilt in your soul.  I pray that you will allow your thoughts to take you to the components of your life: your family, faith, work.  Your community.  Your qualities and desires.  God purposefully imbedded your uniqueness into your soul.  I pray that you would consider your time.  Allow God’s creativity to work out the hours of your day.  Your commitments.  Your priorities.  I pray that you would not miss living in the center of His promising will for your life.

Written by Sasha Katz

Learning the Pieces of a Peaceful Life (Theme Chosen by my daughter Leila)

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I think about why my daughter chose A Peaceful Life for this post.  She sat by me as I wrote about a week ago.  For the first time, she asked me what I was writing about.  It turned into a short chat about what she thought I should write about and out this title came.  It is no surprise to me that it is now, this season, that she begins to ask me thought-full questions.  I can see in the way she prays, in the way that she thinks, cares and changes that she is becoming a young woman.  I can’t be more warmed by this changing young woman to choose a theme called Peace.

Questions I am learning to ask myself:  What do I really need?  Is there more?  What makes me cry?  How do I measure success?   What do I love to do that I miss?  Is my idea of the right way keeping me from the best way?

Questions from Jeff Goins, Lynn Donovan, Emily P. Freeman and my journal.

Verse: Meditate within your heart on your bed and be still.  Psalm 4:4

Deep Thought: When I gather questions to ask myself, I start to remember things about myself that I have forgotten.  I remember that I like butterflies and owls and that I like to bake.  I remember that God has given me space to be and do the things that get quietly pushed aside by the needs of the day.  I remember that He made us to live and work and do our roles, but also to dream, imagine and believe in the unique way He made each of us.  When I remember these things, I am inspired to live an intentional, full, beautiful life.

Quote: I think what we all are aching for is the perfect unity of Heaven.  Until then, we are messy people longing to be seen and known, living under the banner of grace, laboring together for God’s dreams until He makes all things new.  By Ashley Abramson, June 9, 2015, Relevant Magazine

Book(s)/Blog(s)/People that Shape Me:  I really like the regular change of authors in the Daily Devos of Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale.  All of the authors ask really good questions like Am I looking backwards from the cross or looking forward from His resurrection?

My Prayer to You:  I pray that we would take time to know ourselves.  God, help us see the beauty in the details and intricacies that You placed within our souls.  Help us remember that life is not complete without the expression of what You have placed within our souls.  Help us to meditate and be still so that we can hear You share Your heart with us.  God, we know that we will ache for You until You bring us home or make all things new.  Even so, help us live and breathe among community so that our  ache leans on side of Hope.  And, finally, God, help us to keep seeking You and the very perfect design You have made in and for all of us.  Amen.

Simply Tuesday Moments

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After having gone through hell with my mom a few weeks ago, we started a new conversation about faith.  We’ve been talking about how one can look rather faithful on the outside, but lack authentic faith on the inside.  With the right amount of legalism combined with the proper measurement of hypocrisy, one can walk and talk and move through daily life with the costume of Christ buttoned and zipped up over the true condition of self.  It’s not that the costume is satisfying the inner self.  It’s not that the costume is fully believable by those doing life nearby.  It’s that the costume wards off just enough human connection to let the costume do its job of masking the person.

Having gone through the hell of seeing my mom hurt, I was moved, in a deep way, by a theme in Emily’s new book Simply Tuesday. She talks about our soul’s need for acceptance and, when we don’t have it, our tendency to build upon ourselves rather than giving God the sacred parts and letting Him build.  Emily goes on to write that building upon ourselves lends itself to distraction and satisfaction, but cannot hold together when disaster strikes.  And, in my experience, disaster always strikes.

Disaster makes it impossible to hide the condition of fake, or anything else ugly on the inside.  Emily uses words like panic, small and hurt to describe the inside when tragedy and trauma enter into your season.  I see the person who has hurt my mom and I wonder in my heart, mind and soul if the one who has hurt will pass the human tools being used to a God who builds with the invisible power of the Spirit.

I think about how easy it is to buy into impressions and portrayals while letting your inside stay dormant, or even rot.  I think about how hard it is to be authentic, to let yourself be transparent.  To let others see you being built instead of letting others see what you want them to see. I’m hoping that in our Tuesday Moments, we’ll continually give away to Him just enough to keep up our souls under construction.  Just enough permission and just enough space to grow in us what is worthy, righteous, beautiful and true.

Getting Built by Encouragement

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There is so much to learn.  It comes from deep.  It comes from wide.  Learning comes from choosing compassion, connection and sometimes pain.  It comes from being humble, bold and brave.  I am constantly encouraged and inspired by great men and women around me.  I hope to become more of who I am by God’s truth and by the path others are walking.  I am getting built by Encouragement.

What I Learned as a Friend: It feels like the stars have come out when you share with your closest friend what God puts on your heart for this season of her life.

What I Learned as a Parent: It is essential to treat your kids equally and to teach them the value of equality.  That way, they will know that nothing is impossible by their own experience and by definition.  Inspired by my own mother and Nobel Peace Prize Recipient Malala Yousafzai.

Verse:   Therefore encourage one another and build each other up just as in fact you are doing.  1 Thessalonians 5:11 

Deep Thought: Driving on the expressway a few weeks ago, I pushed back on making a phone call.  I finally made a deal with myself that I would make the call when I got to my exit.  The call stretched me and caused a certain amount of relational tension.  Later, I see that change does not happen without connecting.  Without bringing about a certain amount of tension with the eyes of compassion. Change does not happen without being bold and brave.  Thanks in part to Seth Godin’s keynote message at Leadercast 2015.

Quote: You don’t have to be an extrovert or fearless to be a bold leader.  You don’t have to have a specific gift or talent.  You don’t have to be ultra smart or resourced.  You need clarity around an unreasonable commitment to what should be.  Paraphrase from Andy Stanley’s keynote message at Leadercast 2015.

Book(s)/Blog(s)/People that Shape Me: Roarke Denver, US Navy Seal Commander, I love the way he speaks about his family with gentleness, shares his combat experiences with humanity and the way he defines the path to bravery.

My Prayer to You: I pray that we would trust the way God speaks to us and that we would share His insight when He calls us to.  I pray that there would be no sweeter moment than putting words into God’s Book of Remembrance.  I pray that we would remember that all of us are conduits of bravery and capable shaking fear.  I pray that we would remember the call on humanity to equality.  And, that there is no greater cause than laying down your life for your friend.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

epiphany

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Epiphany is a moment of sudden revelation or insight.  Epiphanies, for the most part, can’t happen without a relationship or a foundation with Jesus.  He’s the one who works with us and in us and brings us to place where insight takes place.  Where revelation comes.  I am so grateful that He speaks. That He breathes life into us.  That His knowledge, understanding, wisdom and love is never-ending.  That He cares deeply, desires to know us and shares His very heart with us.  Epiphanies . . .

What I Learned as a Parent: Sometimes I just don’t know how to bring down a mountain, but He does.

What I Learned as a Partner: I can remember what love does.

Verse:   If you have run with the footmen, and they have wearied you, Then how can you contend with horses? And if in the land of peace, In which you trusted, they wearied you, Then how will you do in the floodplain of the Jordan? Jeremiah 12:5

Deep Thought: God has big plans for us to run with Him.  Into the battles He has already won.  I embrace the idea of fighting the good fight in floods where waters rise even though I sometimes gasp for air.  In earthquakes where I sometimes loose the ground I am used to walking on.  In lightning storms where I sometimes loose my sight.  For in these battles, we can learn that nothing can separate us from the love of Christ.

Quote: Horses are faster than people, but eagles are faster than horses.  Pastor Levi Lusko’s Message Running with Horses, Jeremiah 12:5

 Book(s)/Blog(s) that Shape Me: Lynn Donovan’s Blog and Site Spiritually Unequal Marriage

My Prayer to You: God, give us your epiphanies.  Lead us to mountains so we can witness your power.  Help us remember to love one another, especially those that are closest to us.  Give us the passion to run with you into battle.  Help us fight our tendency to be weary and lead us to find our strength in You.  Help us to count our losses as opportunities to gain in your Kingdom.  Help us to run hard with horses in battle, but call on the Eagle to bring us to victory.  In Your Holy Name, Amen.