Author: sashakatz

This is who I am. Loved by Him. Loved by a girl I call Peanut Butter. And a Mysterious Teen who I call my First Born. Journeying with the same man since 11th grade. Joyfully living, moving and breathing in Him. Certain that we will see the goodness of God in the Land of the Living.

When Your Next Step is a Blur

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz2 Comments

I don’t know any one who sets out to make the wrong decision.  In fact, most of the time, we take great measures to make the right decision.  But, what happens when the “great measures” taken still leave you blurry?

I have a back pack full of decisions waiting to me made.  They are the interconnected kind – – can’t make this one until I make that one . . . this one depends on the outcome of that one . . . It goes on like that in a chain of about a dozen decisions.

I am thankful for the direction when I know I’ve got it.  What I mean is that I typically wait for God to give me the go ahead – – on the big move.  Once I’ve got the go ahead, faith starts pumping through my blood.  Then the confidence makes it’s way to my mouth and brain.

So now that I have my direction – – I still have my whole back pack of interrelated decisions!  For me, that’s heavy.  It’s heavy for you too.  You’ve got your big life decisions like who to marry, what type of education, life long work.  You’ve got your personal decisions like worthwhile passions, friendships, faith.  You’ve got your daily decisions like what to eat, when to exercise or when to drop the schedule to take up another’s burden or just be a good listener.  It’s hard to deny that most of our decisions are interrelated with varying degrees of weight on our backs.  And, sometimes, the path of decision-making feels like a blur.

But blur in my book is a good thing.  The good kind of blur means – – I’ve got my direction, but I can’t see the whole way there.  The journey starts out as heavy and hard, but with God, it ends up light and adventurous.  This is the opportunity of faith.  Go ahead and embrace the blur.  I got the good feeling that end of a thing is better than the beginning.

FF NOv 11

New Thing

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz2 Comments

This is a piggy back to two blogs back in April of this year – – Busy and Father Time Laughs.  Last April, God showed me that He didn’t ask me to be busy.  I felt challenged to work on my state of mind that was constantly racing time and tasks.  This truth was a personal revelation to me.  It also was a relief for the time clock, or rather time bomb, ticking in my mind.

I really have enjoyed the last six months.  The initial changes I set up for myself and the process of moving in a new direction felt like they made sense.  In an odd way, email was one of the practical ways I began changing.  On the one hand, I spent about an hour a day working on my inbox.  This was absolutely necessary as I needed to rule out the majority of the possibility that I missed a task, reply or important invitation.  So much of my work depends on timeliness and good practice.  The potential unknown (at work) is a source of stress or worry for me . . . streaming into my personal life.  Now that my email is current, deleting, filing and assigning tasks daily has made a great difference in my life.

On the other hand, I also used email to keep me in the head space I was seeking.  I chose a few devotionals or calls to prayer that are emailed to me daily.  I committed to reading them within a short time after they came in.  That means that two or three times a day, I am thinking about spiritual things and others.  When I read, I don’t browse or speed read.  I read slowly, take in the spiritual thought and answer any study questions or calls to action right then.  As I allow the process, my mind is slowing down.  I am able to give more in the way of quality and substance to the tasks that are part of my entire day – –  I think because of this practice.

As the mind slows down.  Something happens.  It has been sort of an evolution for me.  When you slow down, more is able to come into your mind.  For me, it has been more in the way of God’s calling.  I think He has more deeply carved out in me a care and concern for His causes and for His calling globally.

Six months ago, I didn’t have room in my mind or time in my life to step any deeper into some things.  Now I can see that there is a wide open door to walk through.  That doesn’t happen without God.  I thank Him that He is endless, patient, kind and King.  I thank Him that when we let Him in to try something new, He does just that.

FF Oct 20A

 

 

Still Good

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Sometimes thoughts just come to me.  My thought this evening is that some of you need to hear that He is still good.  It’s the troubles, the stress, the worries of this world that weigh you down.  That burden your soul.  That dim the light you normally see rather brightly.

It’s the wondering of what is next.  Who is going to unexpectedly fail.  Or fall.  If someone you love is going to die.  If you are going to have the money you need.  If life is ever going to make sense.

It is just the opposite of seeing a sunset and being warmed by the pink light.  It is the opposite of seeing a young couple in love and smiling.  You feel the opposite of what you know is good.  The reality of the opposite of good slices through your spirit.

But.  The pink light still peeks through the silhouette of the dark forest.  Love makes it’s way through the years a couple shares with one another.  Despite the filter you are seeing the world through right now, good still is good.

And, if some or all of your world feels like NO right now.  And if some or all of your world is uncertain right now.  And if you feel like you are standing in some sort of dark forest right now.  Even now, He is still good.

FF Oct 17

I Am Thankful For One More Song

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Falling short is a habit for humanity.  For me included.  I don’t always get it all done.  I forget sometimes.  I write lists and end up ignoring some stuff and putting off other stuff.  I have the smart thing to say to my kids, but it comes out pretty stupid.  I have big thoughts for my marriage one day that seem way too transparent the next.  I am on top of my principles and then I fumble around with my time.

I run late – – twenty minutes to be exact, a whole lot of the time.  I run late for church too.  I walk into the end of the last song of worship. Or better yet, the prayer taking place while the music is fading.  I don’t skip a beat and join in wherever I land, but late in any case.  Running late for church feels like running late for God.

This past week, as service was coming to a close, there came one more song.  And, I thought to myself, despite everything, God still plays one more song for us.  We walk in late to our appointments with Him.  We pick stupid times to talk to Him and end up drifting off in the middle of a conversation.  We forget to read His book.  We smear His name a multitude of times in our life.  We fall off the really good life He planned for us.  Even with our best intentions in place, we fall short.

God’s spirit, somehow, because of who He is, takes all of us into account, and comes out playing one more song.  I imagine the size of His heart and it makes sense to me.  I imagine the size of His heart and it feels powerfully possible to me, that no matter what, He always has a song for us.

FF Oct 14

What’s on your mind at 6am on Saturday ?

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz4 Comments

It is not that often that I wake up before 6am on Saturday morning.  The first few hours of Saturday morning are usually my sanctuary.  Today, there is just a whole lot on my mind.

On the spiritual side, I am thinking about my friend SZ who has that tint in her eye, that hue on her heart, that life is burdening her right now.  I’m thinking about CK and K and their good fight against depression.  I am telling God about the very big number of prayer requests that have bubbled up from my dear sisters this week.  I am also thinking about my friend MB and how she reminded me last night how much we need each other.  In the midst of prayers, battles and claiming of victory, she wisely says . . .  Why don’t we all just hang out at the pool and have some fun this weekend?  (That happens in South Florida in October.)

The only thing you and I need today is Jesus.  He is really the only thing that we need everyday.  But, it is refreshing to breathe that in.  Refreshing to know that wherever your mind is, He is all you need.  He is all you need to think, meditate and pray through whatever is on your mind today.

Drink your coffee or tea, clear your mind and do exactly what God calls you to do this weekend.  That’s my plan.  What is on your mind at 6am on Saturday?

FF Oct 11

I Call Him Dad

On By sashakatzIn FemmeFuel by Sasha Katz1 Comment

I woke up this morning and my heart cried out Dad.  I don’t always wake up that way.  Sometimes, I yell on the inside, God Where Are You?  I feel like I am looking around the room in the dark until I calm my heart and find Him.  Other times, I march to the bathroom with no lights on saying I can do nothing without You.  That usually takes place when my exhaustion is at a high.  I don’t know where to go except to Him.  I can be frantic, I can be enthusiastically dependent, but I like it the best when I wake up calling him Dad.

No matter the direction our soul takes us, there is no other place to go except to Him.  He puts in us our unique identity, giving us the opportunity to be who He made us to be.  When we are in tune with Him, we do what we do because we believe.  I write because I think it is my “hands and feet” in the body.  I breathe because He has given me that privilege.  I am a mom because He showed me that it is one of the ways I can deny myself, pick up the cross and follow Him.  I am what I am because He asked me to be.  And, what I am not — the things that are the real works in progress — I seek Him for.

So, why do I believe?  Why do you believe?  I think the answer is His heart and His actions.  He reaches into to the depths of your soul and tells you that you are good.  He says you are Mine.  You have no need to be alone.  You are with Me.  There is no fear in Me.  I will walk with you.  I will hear you.  I will know you.  I will come close.  I will reign in you.  And, I will not charge a fee for my great and unending love.  You just believe.  And, little by little, you come to know Him as your dad.

Each of us knows a little about the figure of dad.  Some of you will say that your bloodline makes you a daughter.  Some of you were adopted and that has made you a child.  Some of you would say that pain is synonymous with dad.  Some of you would say that your dad is your hero.  Or your protector.  For some, your dad still causes you grief.  Some of you rejoice over the great gift you have received in knowing and having a father.

I love that some of us get a glimpse of God in the eyes of our fathers.  I love that dads can fix things.  Give advice.  Walk through the fire with you.  Whether it’s job changes or marriage.  I love that my dad saw me while I was pregnant and complemented me on the good work going on in my body.  I love pics of dads with their grandbabies or toddlers on their shoulders.  I like the idea that dads walk down the aisle with us.  I like the way God made dads.  And, I like that the ruler and maker of the universe is my dad.  And yours too.

FF Oct 3

Get Inspired

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Do you ever get inspired by people?  I do.  I gather these little gifts of inspiration that are passed to me all of the time.  I hold them in my heart.  The inspiration feels like it was made for me and travels into my heart like it has a key to the chest holding my dearest treasures.

I get inspired by God stories.  I get inspired by girlie stories.  I get inspired by books that I read.  I get inspired by movies about real people.  I love inspiration because it is something I can pass on.  When I am inspired, my mind starts rolling through its rolodex of whom I can share the treasure with.  My deepest desire is to pass on the right kind of inspiration at the right time.

James, the half brother of Jesus, is an inspiring gentleman. This morning I was thinking about James’ ability to intuitively gather all of the bias, motivations and intentions of those around him and, through the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, deliver a resolution that loops up the group in uniformity in Christ.  (i.e., the Jerusalem Council).  Wow.  I’m inspired.

Have you ever see the movie Miss Potter?  The life of Beatrix Potter gives me the idea that I can choose to do anything with the inspiration that resides inside of me.  I love Beatrix’ imagination and determination to be who she was made to be.  Or, have you read The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis?  I love the idea that God reveals to each of us the unknown in our own stories.  The knowledge of the invisible work He has done is for our own marvel.  “No one is told any story but their own.”

As for girlie stories, have you ever gotten a call in the night from your best friend where she shares in an intimate way how God moved through her in a powerful way against all odds?  This kind of inspiration draws me to be on my knees in prayer for my friends.  The knowledge of her experience builds my faith in a strong way.  I desire to see His work in her life and I want to be a part of her victories.

As for God stories, you are one and I am one and your neighbor is one.  We are all walking God stories, either already told or waiting to be written.  I can’t help to think that He made us this way so that we can take each other from glory to glory.  I hate to think that we all are guilty of hiding or sometimes smoldering our light.  Don’t do that.  Keep your heart open to what is meant to inspire you.  When the moment is right, write inspiration into the heart of someone else.

14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.  Matthew 5:14-16.

18 But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.  2 Corinthians 3:18.